Bob to the Future
by TheHeavenlyBuddy
Summary: It's been 5 years, what are the Belchers up to? There have been new changes sprouting everywhere, can the Belcher family even handle them? The kids are teens and the parents are hitting 50, there's gonna be love, drama, and of course, comedy, and let's be honest, it's amazing what 5 years can do to a person (OC INCLUDED)
1. Back to School

Disclaimer - The rights to Bob's Burgers and its characters belong to Loren Bouchard, Bento Box Entertainment, and any others associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction, this is all just for fun :)

 **DISCLAIMER** **² -** **Well, here's the surprise. A new fanfiction. I'm sure many of you are mad... _Very_ mad. But I'd like to apologize, honestly. I've just been so excited to get this out and I didn't want to wait too long... Since I have been working on this for a while, I already have some chapters done, which I will be releasing every week (Except chapter 2, I'm releasing that tomorrow. Mostly because I'll be traveling on Labor Day weekend. Anyways, here's a more story-oriented note:**

 **Note - Oh, gee. I bet you guys had no idea I liked Bob's Burgers, did you? Well, ever since last year I've been obsessed with the show (and in between that year, there was a period of about 5 months where I didn't watch it). I'm rewatching the show again and I completely forgot how good it was. I've been meaning to write a fanfiction about it, but I wasn't sure what I wanted the plot to be. That's when one day, I just thought "Hey! What if it took place in the future?" And BAM! This happened. Also, I apologize if I got any of the Belcher's previous grades incorrect. The way I see it, Louise is in 4th, Gene is in 6th,Tina is in 7th. I believe this because in the first 6 episodes, Tina was 12 while she was still going to school, but later becomes 13. Also, Tammy was 12 when she came to Wagstaff but later became 13 at her Bat Mitzvah (considering she is a Reform Jew). Just like all my other fanfictions**

 **(And please excuse any grammatical/spelling errors! I didn't have anytime to read this over! ;_;)**

 **Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this new fanfiction! I present to you...**

* * *

 **Bob to the Future - Chapter 1: Back to School**

 _It's amazing what 5 whole years can do to a person_

Ah, the Belcher's. The classic All-American family. Well, not really. Actually, not at all. The Belcher's weren't exactly what people would call a "normal" family. It was almost anything but normal, but that's the charm of it. The Belcher family wasn't recognized for many things, but one thing they were greatly known for was serving appalling "food" that could make an onion burst into tears. A pretty good description of the cuisine there would probably be the equivalent of choking down raw fish lathered in kitchen grease, toilet water, and other miscellaneous fluids. You could only find food like this at Bob's Burgers

It's almost hard to believe a restaurant with such... "interesting" meals would still be open after 5 years. From being accused of stuffing their burgers with human flesh to nearly finding a ghost below it, Bob Belcher has done it all. Speaking of the infamous chef, how about we go see how him and his family are doing?

 _"Uhhhhhhh..."_

"Tina, come on. It can't be that bad"

"It is that bad, dad!"

I'm sure you can guess who this dialogue is between. That iconic groan wouldn't fool anybody. Yes, it was Tina Belcher, the oldest daughter of the Belcher family. She was currently doing her signature groan with her face rested on the counter of the restaurant and her back slumped over. 5 years is a long time, but that didn't change the Belcher's we knew and love one bit. At least, not in personality. But phenotypically-speaking, these guys have changed

Let's start off with who we were previously talking about, Tina Belcher. She was now 17, but not for long, seeing as her birthday wasn't coming up in too long. But honestly, Tina probably changed the least in looks out of her 2 siblings. She still wore her thick horn-rimmed glasses and yellow barrette. However, her hair grew somewhat longer, now reaching her shoulders. She wore a light blue turtleneck sweater, a slightly longer navy blue skirt, white knee high socks, and her usual black Converse sneakers

"I can't go back to school! Not now!" Tina exclaims, but in her usual monotonous tone. She proceeds to groan a second time, only this time, more obnoxiously

"Why not, Tina? Sure, school is pretty awful, but after nearly 12 weeks of staying at home, you start to miss it! Sort of like that one turkey leg I left in the fridge because of how bitter it tasted, but after a while, I thought, 'Hey! What's the point of wasting it if I'm just gonna end up eating it again later?'. So then I ate it, and man, did I not regret a single second of it!"

I'm sure you can easily guess who that is also. Who else compares everyday situations with food? Gene Belcher, that's who! The middle child of the Belcher family

Gene was now 16, but still kept his usual immature and lively personality. Gene's changes were slightly more apparent than his sisters. First off, he grew, and I mean, a **LOT**. He's already 6 feet, almost pushing 7. He's still somewhat chubby, but with a slightly more fit build than his previous one. His hair, especially his bangs, have become a lot spikier and he grew a small soul patch under his lip. He wore a yellow Hawaiian shirt covered in gold-colored flowers, and he also wore loose jeans and red Converse sneakers

"Hey, I think I've got a song for that feeling!" Gene says, pulling out his blue Casio keyboard. Yup, not even 5 years could break those two apart

"I can't even blame Tina! I don't wanna go back to school either, let alone start high school! Who's dumb idea was it to make high school anyways? I gotta start bringing an ax to school to show those teachers a lesson!"

And who could forget the youngest, yet most conniving Belcher child, Louise. She was now 14 years old at this time. She was still the sadistic little tyrant she was 5 years ago. She was the more thinner of the Belcher kids, and nearly as tall as her older sister. She obviously still wore her pink bunny ears and still refused to take them off. They got slightly worn out over the years, but nothing too bad. Her hair grew much longer, and she wore it in a ponytail rather than two pigtails. She now wore a navy blue hoodie, strikingly similar to the one she had worn 5 years ago when her bunny ears were stolen. She also wore a plaid skirt with short black leggings under them and in stead of her usual flats from 4th grade, she now wears Converse sneakers, very similar to Tina's

"Hey, Hey, No axes, Louise. You already got sent to the guidance counselor's office millions of times in the past due to 'physical confrontations' and I don't need you there another time for axe murder"

"Yeah, kids! You should be excited! It's the start of a brand new year! Woo-hoo!"

If you couldn't guess, those last two remarks were from the owners of Bob's Burgers, Bob and Linda Belcher respectively, and can I just say that the years had been somewhat kind to them. Linda at age 49 and Bob at 50, the two hadn't quite hit "senior citizen" levels of old yet, but that still didn't mean there weren't a few grey hairs here and there. Besides that and some other various facial changes, they looked nearly the same. And now that we've finally finished our physical changes, let's commence the story!

"Hell, if anyone should be excited, it should be you Louise! You're starting high school this year! Yay!" Linda cheered, clapping

"No! Boo!" Louise yelled angrily "I don't need any of that high school drama in my life! I hate growing up!" She crossed her arms

"Growing up isn't so bad, Louise!" Gene began "You discover new things everyday! New thoughts, new ideas, new hair that you never knew existed in certain areas!"

"Gene" Bob simply said, glaring at his only son

"Hey! It's true!" Gene added

"Come on, Tina! Brighten up!" Linda said, patting her oldest daughter on the back "School can't be that bad!"

Tina finally raises her head "School's not the reason I'm sad!"

"Then what is?" Gene asks

"Jimmy Jr! It's been a whole 3 months! What if he's already found a girlfriend by now?" Tina feared

"Jimmy Jr? Girlfriend?" Louise asks "Those are 2 words you don't usually hear in the same sentence"

"I'm sure Jimmy Jr hasn't gotten a girlfriend yet, Tina!" Linda reassured her

"Besides, what do you even see in that kid? Need I remind you he's the spawn of our worst enemy?" Bob reminded his daughter

" _ **Our**_ worst enemy? We couldn't care less about him! You're the one who's obsessed with the guy" Louise says

"For the last god damn time, I am NOT obsessed with Jimmy Pesto!" Bob insisted loudly

Tina then proceeds to pull out a long paper, full of pi charts, graphs, and other miscellaneous charts "Last week I started listing off all the girls in Wagstaff High School that could possibly be in a relationship with Jimmy Jr and their chances of being in said relationship with Jimmy Jr-"

"Wait, wait, wait, you actually took precious time to CALCULATE the results of Jimmy Jr being taken?! Come on, Tina!" Louise hissed

"And the final results stated that there was an approximate 79.6767 repeating percent chance that he'll be taken!" Tina complained "12th grade is gonna be awful!" She continues her distressed moaning

"You're overreacting, Tina! I'm the one that should be scared!" Louise griped "At least you'll be done with high school after this year, and you won't have to worry about school ever again!"

"Um, Louise. I think you're forgetting college" Tina tells her little sister

"WHAT?! THERE'S MORE?!" Louise screams, shooting her hands in the air "Well, I'm sure after that I'll be done with work forever..."

"Then there's getting a life-long career, paying taxes, getting married, having children..." Bob continued

"LA LA LA LA!" Louise yelled, covering her ears, trying to ignore her family

"And Gene, aren't you becoming a junior?" Bob asks

"Oh, please, dad. I'm anything but a junior at this point. Just look at me!" Gene responds. No matter how old Gene was, he could never stop being so dense

"No, I mean a junior in high school. Like, how Tina's a senior?" Bob explains

"Tina? A senior? No way! She looks so young and fresh!" Gene compliments his sister, still not understanding what his father was trying to tell him

"Oh, thank you" Tina says, looking up at her brother

"No, I mean- ... Forget it..." Bob says, getting impatient

"Aw! All my little babies are in high school! They're all grown up!" Linda gushed, hugging all of her kids "I think I'm gonna cry!"

While Tina and Gene shared the same mutual admiration towards the hug, their sister did the complete opposite "Agh! Get off me!" Louise complained, trying to escape her mother's grasp, but it's no use

"All of your lives are gonna be changing drastically, you know?" Linda says

"Ugh, don't remind me.." Louise groaned

"Tina, you're at the end of high school, and afterwards you'll be going to college! Woo! Frat parites! Aren't you excited?" Linda cheers in her usual enthusiastic tone

"Not really. That means I'll have to move away, and I'll miss you guys" Tina admits

"Don't worry, Tina! We'll always visit you! Especially at the most inappropriate times!" Gene reassures her

"Thanks, Gene" Tina simply says to her brother

"Anytime!" He replies, grinning

"And Gene, the age 16 also comes with several responsibilities and opportunities!" Linda adds, "It won't be too long before you start driving!"

"Sweet! Driving!" Gene exclaims "I can't wait to hijack cars like they do in the movies!"

"No hijacking, Gene" Bob says "We don't need any of our kids in jail. Besides, I always thought Louise would be the first one of our kids to end up in jail"

"And speaking of Louise, aren't you excited for your first year of high school? Yay! My little Louise is becoming a woman!" The mother excitedly says

"Ugh! No! I am NOT excited!" Louise whines, crossing her arms

"Oh, come on, Louise. High school isn't as bad as people make it out to be" Bob says "Yeah, there's drama, angst, awkwardness, hormones, puberty, and- oh my gosh high school was awful"

"I KNEW IT!" Louise yelled, shooting her fingers straight at her father in an accusing manner "Can't we just tell the school that I got a 4 year long fatal disease that's completely incurable and contagious. Also, tell my college professor that I once again have gained the same fatal disease for the same amount of years. And then tell every boss in the world that I have that disease, yet again, for ETERNITY!"

"Don't worry, Louise. High school isn't all that bad" Tina says "I like the drama and hormones. It's perfect friend fiction material"

"You still write those stupid friend fictions?" Louise asks "Even after you completely humiliated yourself in front of the entire school by reading it? If I were you, I'd probably stop. And also probably bury myself for as long as I live"

"I can't blame Tina for still writing those friend fictions! I'd be a hypocrite if I say it's ridculous, since I still play my keyboard!" Gene says, pressing a key on his Casio which made its signature fart sound effect "I'll never stop making these funky tunes!" He continues to press the keys of his instrument, laughing as another different sound was played

"Hm, guess we all never really grew out of our old habits" Louise shrugs

"Well, you all are bound to sometime" Bob says "I did. Seriously, I don't want Gene to be in his mid 40's still making fart sounds on his keyboard"

"No promises!" Gene yells, pressing yet another key that makes a fart noise, causing him to giggle and his father to groan in annoyance

"Hey, what time is it?" Linda asks herself, looking around for a clock. Once she catches a good glimpse of it, she screams "8:45?!" In an alarmed tone "You kids need to go to school now! Before you're late! Come on, come on, chop! Chop!" She tries to scurry her kids out of the restaurant

While Tina and Gene start picking up their backpacks, Louise merely groans in anger

"UGHHH" Louise griped "I wanna stay hoooome!"

"Come on, out, Louise! Before I get the broom!" Linda threats

"No! Not the broom! ANYTHING BUT THE BROOM!" Gene frets

"Bye, mom and dad" Tina says, putting on her backpack "I'll always miss you, and I'll never forget you guys"

"Tina, you're just going to school" Bob sighed, slightly irritated. He'd always loved Tina, but sometimes the way she exaggerated certain situations got on his nerves

"Bye guys! Don't get anymore grey hairs while I'm gone!" Gene says, waving to his parents

"Ugh... Thanks, Gene..." Bob says, placing his hand on his forehead

"And don't die from age either!" Louise adds, just before leaving

"WOULD YOU JUST LEAVE ALREADY?!" Bob yells, causing them to quickly exit the restaurant

"They aren't wrong, Bobby. You're really old!" Linda says, facing him

"Lin, I'm a year older than you" Bob says

"In dog years!" Linda replies, cackling obnoxiously, as Bob merely rolls his eyes at her

The 3 Belcher children are now walking to school, like they usual do as a mode of transportation

"So, where's Wagstaff High School again? Is it close to Wagstaff School?" Louise asks her siblings "I just wanna know beforehand so I can make sure if I wanna take a rest stop on the way there or save it for class

"It's not too far from Wagstaff School" Tina answers "Just a few feet from it, honestly"

"It's like they're older and younger brothers!" Gene says

"Well talk about a sibling rivalry" Louise says, crossing her arms

As the siblings walk to their destination, they start to pass Wagstaff School, signaling that they weren't too far from the high school

"Goodbye, old friend!" Louise mourned, waving sadly at her previous school "I'll always miss you! And hate you!"

"Don't worry, sis! Just do really terrible this year, and hopefully they'll send you back a grade!" Gene suggests

"Thanks for the offer, Gene, but I'm not pussying out that quickly!" Louise says with a face that can only be a mixture of determination and pure rage

"You didn't seem to mind to fake a disease to get out of going" Tina responds. Of course, not in a sarcastic, satirical manner

"Well, now, Tina. Does this concern you?" Louise asks her older sister, placing her hands on her hips

"I just figured because-" Tina began, but was cut off by Louise shushing her by placing her finger on her lip

"Shh, shh. The big kids are talking right now, Tina" Her sister says

"But I'm the oldest one he-" Tina begins, but is once again cut off by Louise shushing her

"Shhh..." She said

"But-"

"Shhh"

"I just-"

"Shhhhhh"

"Can I please-"

"SHHH!"

There were a few more seconds of silence as they continued walking

"So like I was saying-" Tina says, but once again being cut off

"LOOK, LOOK! WE'RE HERE!" Louise obnoxiously shouted, pointing frantically at the school building, hoping that would finally shut Tina up, and sure enough, it did

The 3 kids gazed upon the large building. It didn't differ much in height from their previous school building, seeing as that school was already much too large for grade school. Heck, probably the only noticeable difference from the two schools would be the sign in front of the building, with this one reading "Wagstaff High School", and also a large banner reading "Welcome Back!", but that was probably only because of the new school year. New and old faces already began piling into the building with schoolbooks and backpacks

"Oh, wow. The school looks so pretty with that banner" Tina comments "And now time to do what I came here to do. Find Jimmy Jr" She begins to do her signature run to the school building, keeping her hands in place and slowly moving her legs forward, but is halted by a certain guidance counselor

"Slow down there, Tina" He says, putting his hands in front of her "Before any student goes in the building, a school roll call is mandatory"

"But I need to get in to find Jimmy Jr! This is an emergency!" Tina begs

"Unless it has to do with your own physical safety, I'm afraid you'll have to wait" He adds

"It does have to do with my own physical safety! My heart's gonna be shattered in a few minutes if I don't get in there!" Tina argued, still keeping her quiet tone. She then falls to the ground and moans in distress

Louise and Gene rush over to the door where their sister had collapsed

"Mr. Frond?!" Louise exclaims at the counselor "What the hell are you doing here?! Don't you teach Wagstaff School?"

"He's been working here ever since last year!" Gene explains "And man have the years been well to him!"

"Well that explains why I never saw you in 8th grade" Louise says "That also explains why my detentions were way more limited than they were before"

Mr. Frond looks at his student roll call checklist and searches for this kids' names "Belcher... Belcher... Belcher... Ah-ha! There you 3 are. Gene, Louise, and Tina Belcher. Let me just check off your names and you're good to go" He pulls out his red pen, clicks it a few times, and starts writing

"Can we go in now?" Tina desperately asks, lifting her head from the ground

"Hm, looks like my pen's out of ink" Mr. Frond says "Silly me! Let me just look for another one" He slowly begins digging into his pockets "Hm, I believe I have some in my office, let me just get them"

Tina, now insanely impatient, pulls out her own pen, snatches Frond's checklist, checks off her siblings name, and begins running into the building "I'm coming, Jimmy Jr!"

"Hey! Wait up, T!" Louise calls out, following her sister

"Me too!" Gene screams out, following them

While the 3 siblings pile in, Frond pulls out another pen "What do you know? I did have another pen!" As another student approaches the door for check in, Frond begins writing "Wait, this isn't even a pen! It's lipstick! Ha ha!"

"Why would you have lipstick in your pocket?" The student asks, looking at the counselor

"..." Frond quietly stands there, shifts over to the side, and then starts full on running into the school building panting, leaving the student there to merely shrug and enter

* * *

 **Hope you all enjoyed the first chapter! I tried as hard as I could to keep them all in character XD**


	2. School Daze

Disclaimer - The rights to Bob's Burgers and its characters belong to Loren Bouchard, Bento Box Entertainment, and any others associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction, this is all just for fun :)

 **Just as I promised, I'm posting chapter 2 today because of my Labor Day trip. Remember, I'll usually be posting these chapters weekly, so chapter 3 comes out on Friday, and so on and so forth!**

 **In this chapter, we'll be focusing on each Belcher on their first day of school. I'll try to have them each share the same amount of screen ti- ... Well, story time, if we're getting into technicals here. Enjoy! Also, this chapter is gonna introduce my OC to the story. I'll try not to focus too much on her for this portion :)**

* * *

 **Bob to the Future - Chapter 2: School Daze**

"Holy crap!" Louise exclaims, as she gazed upon her brand new school "This is like a completely different universe!"

"Not really" Tina says "I think the only major difference from Wagstaff School is the lack of double lockers. They're all single now" She points over to the large, single lockers

"Woah! You could stuff a living, breathing human in there!" Louise observes. She then faces her much taller brother "Hey Gene! Get in there! I wanna test out my theory!"

"Ok!" Gene happily obliges her request. He tried to fit himself into the lockers, due to his recent growth spurt, he can't seem to fit

Louise begins aggressively pushing him into it, but fails also "Come on! Get in there!" She strains. This commotion obviously earned them some confused glances from other students

When Louise finally managed to squeeze Gene into the locker, she removed her hands from him "Ha! I knew I could fit a human in there! Ok, you can get out of there now, Gene!"

Gene strains as he tries to escape the confined space he was occupying "I think I'm stuck"

She then tries to pull him out of there, but that was probably even harder than getting him to go in

"Ah! Stop pulling so hard before you rip off my arm! I'll need that!" Gene screams

As Louise pulls even harder, she finally ends up freeing him, only for him to land right on top of her "Whoops, sorry about that!" He says

Louise's screams are muffled, and she manages to only wave her arms out of there "Help! Tina!" She says, though her speech is slightly muffled

"I'd love to, Louise. But I've kind of got some important Jimmy Jr scavenging to do. No hard feelings" Tina responds, walking off nonchalantly

"God dammit, Tina!" Louise yells, still under Gene's weight. She does manage to push her self out of there just in time before she broke a bone "Ugh! I felt like I was being smothered by a monster truck on steroids!"

That's when a rather tall, muscular looking man walks past the halls, catching a glimpse of the brother and sister. He was clad in a maroon training jacket, a whistle around his neck, track shorts, Nike sneakers, and a cap which reads "Wagstaff Wildebeests"

"Hey, no roughhousing" The man booms "School hasn't even started yet, Jesus Christ..." He walks away

"Ha, sorry about that, Mr. Parnell!" Gene says, still lying on the ground

"Mr. Parnell?" Louise asks

"Yeah! He's our P.E. teacher!" Gene explains "You'll love him! Once you get past the fact that he makes us run 50 laps around the gym every other day, that is"

The school bell rings loudly just at that moment, and most of the students leave their lockers to head to homeroom

"Great, just great" Louise sarcastically says, as she pulls out her schedule

"Who do you have for homeroom?" Gene asks, pulling out his schedule too

"I've got Mr. Van Horn for Language Arts. What a doofus name, I can already tell he's a major wet blanket" Louise griped, stuffing the slip of paper back into her pocket "How about you?"

"I've got Ms. Ramey for History!" Gene exclaims "That doesn't sound so bad!"

"Better than Language Arts from Mr. Van Dork" Louise replies "Anyways, see ya later"

"See ya!" Gene says, walking off in the other direction

* * *

 _ ***Louise**_

 _ **(the beginning of each Belcher's story begins at nearly the same time, around when the first bell rang)**_

Louise walks through the hallways of the building, in search for Room 203, her homeroom

She scans the doors, reading off the numbers "206, 205, 204... I must be close" As she approaches the next door, expecting it to read 203, she gasps "212?! Who the hell arranges doors like that?!"

After a few more minutes of scrutinization, she finally manages to find Room 203... Right in between 513 and 109.. For some reason

She opens the door and enters the classroom. Huh, looks like class hadn't even started yet. The teacher wasn't even present. From first glance, Louise could already spot some familiar faces as she made her way to a free desk in the classroom

"Hi there, Louise!" Rudy greets, just before he aggressively sucks into his inhaler. It almost seemed like Rudy didn't change one single bit over the years. He was literally just a taller version of his 4th grade self. He kept his ginger receding hair style, navy blue top, and red shorts. Not to mention his asthma

"Hey, Rudy" Louise replies, simply waving at him, as she continues walking

"Hi Louise! OMG! I missed you so much over the summer! How are you? Are you good? I'm sure you are! My summer was crazy fun! I did so many cool things! Did you? Because I did! I went to the water park, and I got to leave the state twice! The first trip was to an amusement part and the other was to visit my grandma! Did you know she's 95 years old? That's so cool! I can't believe _blah blah blah blah_ "

Who else talks that much? But of course, it was Harley. Her hair grew slightly and it kept its curl. It was still held in a blue hairband. She wore a white short sleeved shirt with a smiley face plastered across it, over a long sleeved shirt with rainbow colored sleeves, and a short denim skirt with cowgirl boots. Talk about a wacky wardrobe

"Hey, Harley" Louise interrupts, trying to shut her up "Listen, I'd love to hear you talk more, but I kind of have this thing called a life, and I'm kind of in the mood to live it, so if you don't mind me leaving..." She trails off, walking away from her

"Hey! I have one of those two!" Harley replies, giggling "I also have a new filling from last week! This part is silver, but this part is sort of a _blah blah blah_ "

Louise tried her best to prevent any further social interaction by just walking past classmates or flat out ignoring them. Though this next student, was very hard to ignore

"When I say "Lou", you say "Eze"! Lou!"

Louise's pupils dramatically constrict, as her grows "Oh god"

Millie Frock, Louise's biggest fan and biggest fear. Ever since 4th grade, she had the belief that Louise was her conjoined twin, never wanting to leave her side. Louise could hardly believe she was still in this school. By now, they should've sent her off to an insane asylum. Her blonde hair almost grew to her waist and she had no longer wore it in ponytails. She wore a light blue sweater and a black knee length skirt

"Hi there, BFF!" Millie replies, as she holds Louise in a choke hold hug

"Ah! C-Can't... B-Breathe!" Louise wheezes, trying to escape her grasp

"I missed you so much!"

"I-It's only been *wheeze* three months!"

"More like 3 centuries! Ha ha ha ha!"

Louise finally escapes Millie's tight clutches. This had been the 3rd time she was stuck in between something just this morning. First, her own mother, then her own brother, and now a major bother "Millie! It's been well over 1 full year and you're still chasing after me?"

"Of course! Why wouldn't I be? We **are** best friends, after all. Aren't we Louise?" Millie asks, getting dangerously close to Louise's face

"Ugh! Millie! We are not best friends! Can't you just accept that?!" Louise growls, clenching her fists. She turns and keeps walking

"Oh, we will be best friends, Louise..." Millie says, staring at Louise as she left, with a smile that could kill

"Ok, slightly bad start, Louise. But I'm sure it'll get better over the years" Louise says to herself "I just need to find a place to sit so I'm not stuck with someone I completely detest for the rest of the year"

She passed some new kids, nah, she didn't feel comfortable sitting with some kids she barely knew. She wasn't exactly the welcoming type either. She would've sat next to Rudy, but Harley's right behind the seat by him, and she wasn't gonna get talked to death. When it seemed all hope was out the window, she spotted two easily recognizable faces

"Perfect" Louise simply says to herself, finally satisfied. She walks over to the two "Hey Andy, hey Ollie"

"Hey, Louise!" Both Andy and Ollie reply simultaneously. Ah, the Pesto Twins. They might as well be Siamese Twins too. Looks like they still haven't gotten tired of doing literally everything together. Like Rudy, they hadn't changed very much in appearance. They wore their usual attire, just in a bigger size

"We were just trying to super glue both of our heads together so we'd never leave each other's side!" Andy exclaimed, lifting up a tube of slightly worn-out super glue

Louise, uninterested, tried to cut to the chase "Yeah, yeah, that's nice and everything, I guess"

"Hey! You wanna sit next to us?" Ollie asks

"I thought you'd never ask!" Louise says, relived she didn't have to face sitting with any other classmates of hers. She sits exactly one sit away from them, leaving a free desk in between there

"You can sit right over here, Louise!" Andy says, slapping his hand on the desk directly next to them

"Well, I just figured one of you would need to sit right there" She explains

"It's no problem. Me and Andy share a seat!" Ollie says

Slightly creeped out, Louise awkwardly exits her seat and sits next to the twins, all the way in the back of the classroom

And just in knick of time, Mr. Van Horn entered the classroom, silencing everyone

Van Horn was a tall, thin man, maybe too thin. He wore a plain grey sweater over a tucked-in collared shirt, with a tie to top it all off. He also wore khaki dress pants, a leather belt, and black dress shoes. Onto his facia features, he resembled a middle aged man, with slightly noticeable wrinkles here and there, and a just unimpressed expression. He had a Tom Selleck-esque mustache, just slightly larger and barely covering his entire mouth. Last, he wore large bifocals due to his impaired eyesight

He walked behind his desk, sat down, and placed his hands on it casually, without saying a single word

The class was also awkwardly silent for a while, maybe even a bit creeped out

After what seemed like ages, Mr. Van Horn finally spoke up, in a very monotonous voice "Good morning, students. I am Mr. Van Horn, your new Language Arts teacher for the rest of the school semester"

"What a creep... He's like Tina as a 49 year old man..." Louise whispers to herself

He stands up from his seat, now with a much more stern look on his face directed at his class "In my class, I will not tolerate disrespect, inappropriate actions, or anything else that is sure to get on my last nerves"

The class looked at each other fearfully, and everyone looked completely miserable. So Louise felt it was her job to lighten the mood

"Oh, yeah? Does this get on your last nerves?" Louise asks, as she proceeded to place both of her palms on her mouth to make a fart noise, causing her whole class to laugh at her antics

Though, Mr. Van Horn didn't take this too lightly, as he physically displayed his anger "Excuse me, what is your name?"

"Louise Belcher, what the hell is it to you?" Louise replies, reclining her two feet on her desk with her head rested back on the wall

This received some mild "oohs" from the classroom, as they turned their attention to the now furious teacher

"Ah, Louise Belcher... I believe you're the sister to Tina and Gene Belcher?"

"You know it!" Louise exclaims

"Well, aren't you rather... Different from your older siblings?" He says

"You can count on that, Van Dork" Louise responds

"What... What are you chewing on?!" Mr. Van Horn asks, examining the child

Louise blows up the hugest bubble out of her gum, and it quickly pops "Bubble gum"

"Woah.. What a rebel.." Rudy gapes

"OMG, OMG, OMG! I can't believe Louise did that! Speaking of which, I can't believe Louise has done many things. Like the time she _blah blah blah blah_ " Harley rambled

"Leave that gum under your desk after class Louise! I'll be needing it!" Millie says, grinning creepily

"Me and Ollie share gum all the time! Isn't that right, Ollie?" Andy asks his brother

"We share everything! People even say we share a brain!" Ollie says, oblivious to the obvious insult people threw at him and his twin brother

Mr. Van Horn looked like his head was about to explode. He pulls out a pink colored slip and rights a few words on it "I didn't think I'd have to do this on the first day of school. Heck, during the first 5 minutes of class too. But you leave me no choice, Ms. Belcher" He hands her a detention slip "2 hour detention after school!"

Louise looks at the paper. In the space where it says "Receiving Detention For:" Van Horn had written "Inappropriate remarks, vulgar language, gum chewing, and disrespect, all within the first 5 minutes of class" "Heh, new record" Louise grins

"And I'll be moving you up to the front of the class so I can keep an eye on you!" Mr. Van Horn adds. He points to a girl in the front row of the classroom "You! Please switch seats with Ms. Belcher"

She lifts her backpack and moves to where Louise had been sitting. Louise also left her seat and sat right where she was previously occupying

"Guess I wasn't wrong about the wet blanket thing" Louise says to herself in her head

* * *

 _ **Gene**_

Gene didn't have much of a problem finding his classroom as Louise did, since he had been attending this high school for a good 3 years. When he had entered the classroom **,** he noticed it was much smaller than he had expected. Probably less than 20 people in there. Same with Louise, his teacher wasn't in the class either

While scanning the room, he noticed a lot of familiar faces, though he couldn't be bothered to talk to them, seeing as he didn't have much friends in his grade. I mean, this is the same kid who got overly attached to a talking toilet back in 6th grade

Probably the only good friend he could actually remember was the infamous Peter Pescadero. He was probably the only kid who could actually tolerate Gene's weird antics and habits. They had been good friends ever since they met in Wagstaff, even if they were almost complete opposites. Though they did share some interests, such as music and- ... Er, well, music

Speaking of the boy, it wasn't too long till he spot him sitting at his desk, twiddling his fingers

"Hey there, Peter!" Gene yells loud enough for the whole class to hear, which definitely got Peter's attention right away

"Oh, hey there Gene" Peter replies with a simple grin. I'll tell ya, his voice had gotten a bit more deeper since 6th grade. He now wore a short sleeved emerald shirt on top of a long sleeved white shirt, along with jeans and brown kicks "How are you?"

"Good question, Peter!" Gene says "I'm just..." He pulls out his robot voice megaphone "GREAT!" He speaks through it, fluctuating his voice as usual

"Oh wow, you still carry that around?" Peter asks, looking at the device

"Yup! I carry almost everything from 6th grade around! My keyboard, my..." He pulls it out a second time and says "Megaphone!" He places it back down "And my lovable personality!" Gene stops speaking for a moment, and begins looking around as if he had lost something of his possession

"What's the matter, Gene?" Peter asks

"I just feel like something in this classroom is missing... Well, someone to be exact.." After sniffing around a bit more, he notices the difference "Hey! Where's Courtney? Wasn't she here last year?"

"Yeah she was, but didn't you hear? She transferred, and she's out of the state. All the way in Montana" Peter explains

"Really?!" Gene gasps "Why?"

"No one knows for sure, but one rumor is that her dad got a big hit job offer for his new commercial jingle, and they had to move" Peter replies

"I see..."

Gene hadn't exactly had the best relationship with Courtney. It always seemed to vary between those 2. He could never forget that time in 6th grade when he made the mistake of dating her, just so he wouldn't hurt her feelings. Well that ended with her being sent to the hospital by the paramedics at her birthday party. Long story. Not too long later, they started dating again, and the feelings were mutual. Too bad that ended within about 2 days, and this time, it was Courtney who called off the shots. It wasn't like they hated each other after that. After all, it **was** for the best. But after that, the two became so distant. They barely ever found themselves interacting through 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th grade. It was like she faded out of Gene's life and was gone forever, despite her being in the same classes as him. That was the only real relationship Gene had ever been in, and he wasn't sure how to feel knowing that she left. Should he be sad? Should he be relieved? One things for sure, he didn't have feelings for her anymore, but it almost seemed like he was empty. Gene wasn't really the one to be all that interested in romance, but he missed knowing that someone out there still loved him

Gene looked around the classroom. He noticed some of Courtney's old friends from last year, such as Rupa, Julie, etc. He wondered how they were holding out on the loss of their best friend. He'd imagined they were torn in some way. He remembered when he'd lost his only real friend, who he referred to as "Toilet" 5 years back during his childhood. It wasn't easy losing your best friend in less than a full week

Gene sat to the right of Pescadero, placing his Casio on top of his desk. Just then, a reserved female voice is heard saying "Class, class, please settle down"

The class slowly quiets itself down, facing the lady who had requested silence

"Good morning, students. I'm Ms. Ramey, your new History instructor" She greets. Ramey barely looked a day over 35. She looked so young for a teacher, maybe old enough to be a doctor, but young enough to be a model. She had short, brown hair, blue eye shadow, glossy faux nails, a skin-tight business suit, and shiny black high heels. She looked strikingly similar to Pam, the same lady on the hit Channel 13 television show, _Pam's Court_ , and was quite a looker for a teacher, if I do say so myself. The classroom seemed really satisfied with this new teacher, especially the boys

"Now, as your teacher, I will be expecting every single student in this room's best effort put into all their assignments. I will not tolerate any underachievers in my classroom. I believe every single one of you in this room have amazing potential, even though others don't chose to use it as often" Ms. Ramey explains, as she paces back and forth in front of the room with her arms behind her back like an army general

"What do you think about her?" Gene whispers over to Peter

"I guess she seems like a nice teacher. Though, you can never be too sure with the nice ones" He replies, also whispering "What about you?"

"I'm not sure, but I did hear people like to call her Mssss, with 4 s's, since she's been divorced 4 times!" Gene responds, in a louder whisper

Peter quietly titters at Gene's joke "Heh heh! That's hilarious!"

"Trust me, It isn't easy getting past me" Ramey rambles on "I've been teaching at this school for more than 5 years, so I'd know a thing or two about-"

Though, her "inviting" lecture is cut short by the classroom door opening. Once the door was fully ajar, behind it was what any sensible person would assume a classmate. Only, no one had seen this girl before, ever, and the class grew ever so silent at the sight of her

She has a somewhat timid and uncomfortable facial expression and a really silent voice. She doesn't speak for a while, and merely stands in place nervously, but when she finally speaks up, she says "Please excuse me... I just had some trouble finding the classroom, and-"

"That's perfectly fine, dear. You **are** new to this school, after all" Ms. Ramey replies with a smile at the girl, who shoots her a nervous grin back "Getting acquainted to a new school can take a while, and you just take as you need to learn the basics. Your tardy is excused"

Ms. Ramey flips through her attendance list "Oh! There you are! Class, I'd like you to meet Dakota Newman, our brand new student!"

Dakota wasn't too tall. In fact, she didn't look any taller than 5'6. She had medium length dirty blonde hair, and wore a black and white striped short sleeved shirt, faded jeans, and black Converse

"Tell us a little bit about yourself, Dakota, if you don't mind" Ms. Ramey politely asks. The whole class shoots her an inviting grin from their seats

Dakota stands there silently, with her hands behind her back, not saying a single word. It almost looked like she was trying to say something, but she was merely mumbling. The class looked at each other, confused

"Is she talking? Or just mouth breathing?" Gene asks Peter, who just shrugs at his query

After a few more seconds of utter silence, Ms. Ramey decides to fill in for her "Er.. Well.. Dakota isn't from here, aren't you Dakota?"

Dakota softly nods

"I believe you said you used to live in Virginia, and you just moved over here this summer! Well, we'll make you feel right at home here with us!" She says, placing her hands on the young girl's shoulder "Hm, there should be a place for you to sit..." Ramey says, as she carefully scans the classroom, but before she could finish her examination, she is interrupted

"Hey! She can sit over here!" Gene signals, pointing over to the desk to his right

"That's a very kind gesture. Gene Belcher, is it?" Ramey asks the student of great stature

"Yes! That's me!" Gene clarifies

"Oh! You must be Tina Belcher's younger brother!" Ms. Ramey says

"Yup!"

"Well, go on, don't be shy" Ms. Ramey urges the new student. She hesitates at first, but Dakota slowly makes her way to the seat and sits down, looking to the floor

"And now that that's situated, let's continue where we were, now shall we?" Ms. Ramey says, placing her arms back behind her back and resumed her pacing "As I was saying..."

As Ms. Ramey resumes her lecture, most students had already lost interest. Was this all History class was going to be? Hearing the teacher flap her mouth about "disciplinary actions" and "respectful characters"? That was the guidance counselors job

While Gene was busy playing with his fingers, minding his own business, Peter tapped him on his shoulder

"Hey, Gene. What do you think about the new kid?" Peter asks him "She's a bit quiet. I couldn't hear a word she said up there"

"Ditto!" Gene replies. He'd never seen someone of such a timid nature "Maybe she's just nervous, leave that to me!" Peter wasn't so sure what he meant by "leave it to me", but knowing Gene, it probably wasn't going to end well

"Psst! Psst!" Gene repeats to the girl, but she didn't seem to hear him "Hey! Psst!" He still didn't have her attention

That's when Gene crumbles up a small piece of paper, creating a miniature paper ball, barely the size of his top phalange, and chucks it at her

This finally caught her attention, and she glares at him. Not necessarily in a mean way, but with a slightly confused look "Hm?" She says quietly

"Hi there!" Gene greets with a smile

"Oh, hello.." She replies, avoiding eye contact

"So, new school, huh?"

"Erm... Yeah..."

"That's cool, I've never switched schools before! Is it similar to switching planets?"

Dakota smiles, I guess she hadn't known Gene long enough to realize he wasn't joking

"Well, I wouldn't be sure..." She replies, still grinning. This was probably the longest conversation she'd had with anyone in this state, besides her family. She wasn't exactly a social butterfly

"So, what's your name, again?" Gene asks

"I'm... Dakota. Like the city" She greets

"Hi there, Dakota! I'm Gene, like the Wilder!" Gene jokes, causing Dakota to let out a small, silent giggle

"Hehe, you're funny..." She says, keeping her quiet tone

"Wow, I didn't even get my real jokes out yet!" Gene says "I'd tell you them, but I happened to have left my joke book at home, all 6 volumes"

Dakota grins at him again. Maybe it was just the fact that she was new here and usually easily impressed, but Gene was the funniest person she had met

* * *

 _ **Tina**_

Tina was now running around the hallway, searching desperately her lost flame "Jimmy Jr? Jimmy Jr, where are you?" She repeatedly turned people over, hoping one of her suspects would be him, Jimmy Junior "Pesto" Poplopovich. Jeez, that's a mouthful

"Jimmy Jr? It's me, your kind of, off-and-on, 'it's complicated-ish' girlfriend, Tina" She rambles, running around the hallway like a headless chicken. She searched far and wide, but had no such luck locating him. Frustrated, Tina let out a loud, menacing screech, though, due to her monotonous nature, it sounded more like a silent groan than a screech

"Hey, Tina" says an almost equally monotone voice

Tina turns around, and faces the same chess-loving dork from middle school, Henry Haber. He still wore thick glasses and grew drastically in stature, just like Gene. He wore a green argyle sweater vest over a nicely-ironed, white dress shirt, khakis, and brown shoes

"Not now, Henry" Tina says, scrounging around

"I just happened to hear you were looking for Jimmy Jr" Henry Haber says

Tina turns to look at him "Go on"

Haber points forward "He's right over there"

Tina looks at his direction and gasps. Sure enough, it was Jimmy Jr, not too far from her. All she could see was him from behind, but knowing Tina's extreme fixation with rear ends, it didn't bother her the least "Jimmy Jr!" She screams, as she walks closer to him. But before Tina reached 4 ft from him...

 _ **RING!**_

The school bell rings, and all the students head for their respective classrooms, including Jimmy Jr

Tina gasps, and collapses to the floor "Ugggghhhh" She moans, as students pass her to go to their classrooms "I was so close... Yet, so far.."

Still on the ground, Tina reads over her schedule to see her new homeroom "Mrs. Carpenter for Math... Wait a second.." She tries to remember back to which class Jimmy Jr had headed to. Wasn't it... Room 215? She looks back down at her schedule, and sure enough, homeroom was in 215 "Yes" She grins, as she runs off to class

When Tina made it to the door, she was immediately met with the back of an unsuspecting Jimmy Jr. Her first instinct was to go for the kill, girl style

She tackled him over to the ground "Jimmy Jr!"

"Woah!" He exclaims, as he fell "What the hell?!" He turns himself over and faces Tina "Tina?!"

"Oh, hey Jimmy Jr" She nonchalantly greets "I definitely wasn't going on a crazy rampage this entire morning looking for you"

"Um..." Jimmy Jr murmurs "Tina, if you wouldn't mind, could you please get off me?" He asks, in his usual lisp

"Oh, of course" Tina says, as she obliges his request, getting up and facing him "Let's start over. Hi, Jimmy Jr"

"Uh... Hi Tina"

"I definitely wasn't going on a crazy rampage-"

"Yeah, we sort of already established that"

"Oh, right. Let me start over-"

"Tina, what is it?"

Anyone would easily suspect Tina's infatuation with Jimmy Jr was mere puppy love, seeing as she was an adolescent ascending into puberty, but 5 years? Really? You'd expect her to let go by now, or, if anything, you'd expect them to at least be together by now, but Tina's timidness didn't make it any easier for her to confess her love to him. Their relationship had been somewhat on-and-off, seeing as one day they'd be kissing and the next they'd act as if nothing happened. Speaking of which, what did Tina really see in him, in general? He wasn't exactly the most charming young man as a kid. With his noticeable speech impediment and obvious lack of intelligence. Though, anyone would admit he had quite the looks now. Jimmy Junior wore a grey, sleeveless hoodie, sagging, torn jeans, and black sneakers. He also wore red headphones around his neck. He was still a dancer, and no one saw him quitting anytime soon

"Well" Tina began, already extremely flustered "How was summer? Did you- random, out-of-the-blue question by the way, did you happen to spend it with someone near and close to you, that isn't related to you in any way and is probably female"

Jimmy Jr looked at her, perplexed "Like, a girlfriend? Are you asking if I have a girlfriend?"

"If you wanna put it that way" Tina says, shrugging

"Uh, no" Jimmy Jr replies awkwardly

"Oh, that's tragic" Tina flatly says "Anyways bye" She turns to leave him alone, leaving Jimmy Jr in a confused messed "What the-..."

"Yes!" Tina says with a triumphant fist pump "Jimmy Jr is single and ready to mingle, hopefully with me in the coming future" Now that that 5 ton weight was finally removed from her shoulder, she could carry on with her day as usual with her first objective: find a seat

This was no easy task, once you sat somewhere, you were stuck there for life. Or, well, until the teacher moves you

"Hm, let's look at our choices" Tina says to herself, examining the possible options, as she walked through the class

The first classmates she came across were Tammy Larsen and Jocelyn, possibly the most popular girls in Wagstaff history

"And, so I was like, 'That isn't a dress, it's a sack of potatoes'!" Tammy rambles, laughing. She catches a glimpse at her friend, who she's telling the story to, and from the looks of it, Jocelyn was too busy doing her nails to be paying attention "JOCELYN!" Tammy yells, startling her

"Ah!" Jocelyn yelps in shock "What? What is it?"

"What the hell! Were you even listening to my story?!" Tammy complains

"Wait, you were telling a story?" Jocelyn asks

"Ugh! My god, Jocelyn! You're so stupid sometimes!" Tammy yells

Jocelyn scoffs "Well, I'm sorry, Tammy!" She says

"Can it, I don't wanna hear it, since you obviously don't wanna hear me!" Tammy barked, placing her hand in front of Jocelyn and looking away

Tammy's physical appearance mostly reflected her personality, devious and scandalous. She had a glossy pixie cut with bangs dyed electric blue and wore buckets of makeup and jewelry. She wore a black tube top, a silver belly button ring, cut offs, and ankle strap sandals, and let's be honest, at least something on her body was fake

Jocelyn's fashion taste was slightly more modest. She wore a frilly sea green tank top, dark jeggings, bangle bracelets, and tennis shoes. She wore now wore her hair in a French braid, along with a yellow scarf, worn like a head band

Tina makes her way towards the two "Oh, hi Tammy. Hi Jocelyn"

"Ugh, it's Belcher" Tammy says, disgusted "What do **you** want?"

"Oh, nothing. Just saying hi" Tina innocently replies

"Sorry, Tina. I think you're in the wrong place. The loser department's that way!" Jocelyn retorts, pointing where Tammy was sitting

"Jocelyn! This is where I'm sitting! You're supposed to point the other way, you idiot!" Tammy shrieks

"Oh wait, I think I did that wrong" Jocelyn says, pulling back her finger

"Well, I'll just be on my way now" Tina says, walking away. Still on her quest to find a seat, she runs into Jimmy Jr again, except now, with his best friend

"Hey, Zeke! Watch this!" Jimmy Jr exclaims, as he pulls his hands into his hoodie, and begins moving them outward, as if something was trying to escape his body

"Ha! Looks like an alien creatures tryin' to bust outta there!" Zeke cackled, and so did Jimmy Jr

Tina approaches the two "Hey Jimmy Jr" She says, grinning "Zeke" She says flatly, with a somewhat agitated voice, like she always did. Tina was never to keen on Zeke, seeing as he spent way too much time with Jimmy Jr

"Oh, hey again, Tina.." Jimmy Jr replies, looking away

"Hey, T!" Zeke blurts "Show 'er, J-Ju!"

"Ok!" Jimmy Jr says, as he repeats what he was doing, causing the two boys to laugh again

Zeke was quite a bloomer. Unlike Gene's mere soul patch, he had a nearly full grown beard. His hair was still mildly unkept, and he now wore a wife beater and cargo shorts

Tina continues moving, she'd wanted to sit with Jimmy Jr, but there was a 99.9% chance he would be sitting next to Zeke, which would completely ruin the experience. There wasn't much time, let alone much people left to chose from. While walking, Tina passes by Darryl, a good friend of her and her siblings

"Oh, hey there, Tina!" Darryl greets

"Hi, Darryl" Tina replies

Darryl went from being half the size of all the girls to nearly twice their size. He still wore glasses and was a bit "zit-faced" here and there, but that was probably just the pubescent changes. He wore a green shirt with a design resembling the Triforce from _The Legend of Zelda_ , jeans, and black shoes

"So how was your summer?" Darryl asks, as Tina begins to sit down in the seat next to him

Before she could properly answer, the classroom suddenly grew silent at the sound of the door creaking open, yet no one seemed to be behind it

"Who did that?" Jimmy Jr asks, alarmed

"Woah! I bet it was a ghost!" Zeke exclaims, nudging JJ

"A ghost?! AHH!" Tammy shrieks, which causes an uproar of screams from other students

"AHH!" Jocelyn yells "Wait, what are we screaming about again?"

Fortunately, it wasn't a ghost, but their new teacher. She walked through the door slowly and sluggishly. She had her back hunched over with a mopey expression, like she wanted to die. For what seemed like forever, she finally managed to make it to the front of the class, and maintaining her drowsy facial expression, she began to speak, _veeeeery slooooowly_

 _"_ Good morning, students" She began "My name is Mrs. Carpenter. I will be your new Math teacher for the 12th grade. This is a start of a new life, and before you know it, you'll all be attending a university and making a future. Yay" She says very unenthusiastically

"Oh my gosh, she sounds so boring" Jocelyn whispers to Tammy "And she looks like she doesn't even care"

"That's great. Just means she won't care about what we do, and we can get away with anything" Tammy smirks

Mrs. Carpenter had short brunette hair in a messy bun, hoop earrings, a white v-neck shirt, grey sweatpants, and slippers. She looked like she had just got out of bed 5 minutes ago

"As your teacher, I'm legally qualified to give you this lecture at the beginning of the year, so let's not waste anymore time" She said, keeping her flat tone

"Wow, it looks like she's really passionate about her job" Tina says, facing the teacher

"Was that sarcasm?" Darryl asks

"No. Why would it be?" Tina queries

"Just asking. With your tone of voice, you can never be sure" Darryl admits, shrugging

Carpenter's lecture was so bland and unentertaining, all of words just seemed to fade out of people's attention spans

"Should I be taking notes?" Tina asks Darryl

"What? No! Why would you be?" Darryl questions. It seemed like the two were just throwing questions back and forth at this point

"I don't know, I just figured this was part of the lesson" Tina says

"Ugh, Tina! Can you please shut it? I'm trying to not pay attention here!" Tammy growls at her

"Yeah, Tina!" Jocelyn adds

"Sorry, Tammy, but I don't remember talking to you just now" Tina shoots back with an irritated glance

"Ooh, she has a point Tam" Jocelyn says

"Jocelyn! What the hell?! You're supposed to be on my side, you air head!" Tammy yells

"Wait, we're on sides? We aren't playing any sports" Jocelyn says, oblivious to what Tammy was referring to

"I mean sides in the fight!" Tammy impatiently yells

"Fight? What, are we wrestlin' now?" Zeke bellows "Come on, J-Ju! 1 on 1!" And before they knew it, the two were going at it right there on the ground like little boys

Surprisingly, Mrs. Carpenter seemed completely unfazed by all the commotion, she just stopped her lecture right there "Meh, I'm too lazy to go on with this. Free period, I guess" She says, falling to sleep immediately on her chair

Well the class went ballistic right after that. Hell, could you even call it class anymore? Kids were screaming, playing, wrestling (in Zeke and Jimmy Jr's case, at least), and just going crazy. Probably everyone but Tina

"Hm, today's class was awfully strange" She says to herself "Maybe tomorrow will be a bit more organized. But for now..." She then pulls out her erotic friend fiction, and starts writing in it. You'd expect her to be more private with these sort of things, but seeing as she read it to the whole school that one time, she couldn't care less anymore

* * *

About 7 hours later, school was over, and it was time for all the kids to return home. Tina and Gene met in front of the school so they could depart together

"So, how was your first day?" Gene asks his sister

"Interesting. Very interesting" Tina says "It's nice having new teachers each year, it just means more friend fiction ships. How about you?"

"It was nice, and so was the teacher! In personality, **and** looks! Rowr!" Gene says with a wink "Also, we've got a new student in homeroom! Her name's Dakota, and she's really quiet!"

"Oh, she sounds nice" Tina says, smiling "Hey, have you seen Louise by any chance?"

"Oh, right! She wanted me to tell you that she got detention" Gene says

Just then, they hear loud thumping. It sounded like it was coming from inside a room. They walk towards the sound, and end up in front of the detention room's door. Sure enough, it was Louise banging on it

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" She screams, though her speech was slightly muffled due to the separation

Both of her siblings were unaware to what she was trying to say, so they just waved, smiled, and left the building

"I'm not saying 'hi' you idiots! GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Louise yells a second time, banging the door even harder

"Louise! Zip your lips and sit back in your seat, or I'll add another 2 hours!" Mr. Frond commands, and Louise reluctantly obliges

"I'll get you back for this, Frond..." Louise quietly says to herself, demonically glaring at the guidance counselor

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, and I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! :)**


	3. Familiar Faces

Disclaimer - The rights to Bob's Burgers and its characters belong to Loren Bouchard, Bento Box Entertainment, and any others associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction, this is all just for fun :)

 **Sorry, guys! Forgot to post this yesterday! In this chapter, we'll get introduced to a new character! Don't worry, it's a canon character, not another terrible OC XD Can you guess who it is? I'll give you a minute... Guessed yet? No? Ok, I can wait... Now I'm sure you've made your guess! Time to see if you're right! :D**

* * *

 **Bob to the Future - Chapter 3: Familiar Faces**

"How's your burger, Teddy?" Linda asks, as she tends to grill in the other room

"It's great, Linda! It's probably somewhere in my top 100 of your burgers!" Teddy says as he embraces the burger in front of him

"Um... Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Bob asks, standing in front of the counter

"That's a great thing!" Teddy exclaims "But I could've sworn you already used 'Little Swiss Bunshine Burger' before!" He points to the Burger of the Day written in chalk

"What? No we haven't" Bob claims

"Actually, I think we may have" Linda says

Bob sighs "Even if we did, that had to be, what, ages ago! I'm sure no one will even notice"

Just then, Mort enters the restaurant, which signals the bell on the glass door "Hey, guys!"

"Hi, Mort" Bob greets

"Just came here for my daily burg- Hey, didn't you guys already use 'Little Swiss Bunshine Burger' before?" Mort asks

"Ugh..." Bob groans

5 years isn't a long time, so it didn't seem like Mort or Teddy changed too much in physical appearance. Teddy didn't even change at all, appearance or personality wise. Aside from some facial difference (though that just might be from age), he looked nearly identical. Mort's appearance didn't differ from the past either, except he no longer where's his brown toupée. But physical differences aside, they still seemed to always come to Bob's Burgers for lunch. No matter the occasion, it was Bob's Burgers 24/7, now those are dedicated customers. It's even more shocking that they're able to down such retched cuisine

"Well, I'm not changing it" Bob says "Mort and Teddy are just 2 people, and they always come so of course they'd notice. I'm positive no one else cares"

The door to the restaurant rang open again, and out came Tina and Gene "Hi Mom, hi Dad" Tina says

"Hi kids!" Linda happily sings, sticking her head out the kitchen window

"Hi Gene! Hi Tina!" Teddy says

"Hi Teddy" Gene and Tina say simultaneously, except Gene put much more emotion into his greeting

Gene looks over at the Burger of the Day "Hey! Haven't we already used 'Little Swiss-"

"AGH! WHY DO YOU CARE?!" Bob hisses furiously

"There were a ton of other burger puns you could've used" Tina says "The Sriracha-Shank Redemption Burger, You've Gouda Brie Kidding Me Burger"

"Bun Flew Over the Cuckoo's Zest! The Addams Ham-ily! Zest Side Savory!" Gene adds

"Well, I'm not using any of those ingredients. I'm using swiss cheese" Bob says

"Driving Swiss Crazy!" Tina and Gene both say at the same time

"Oh my gosh..." Bob groans "Hey, where's Louise?"

"She's in detention! Not that that's anything new at this point" Gene says

"Are you serious? On the first day?" Bob asks impatiently "I can't believe this..." He groans "She was supposed to do the dishes today! It's supposed to be a busy day today!"

"But it's never a busy day here!" Gene laughs

"Gene" Bob sternly says

"Don't worry, Bob. She'll be out in no time!" Linda reassures her husband

"I honestly doubt it. Gene, Tina, could you please do the dishes this week? I promise I'll make it up to you guys"

"Sure, dad" Tina says "We don't mind"

"You don't mind. I'm gonna be busy today so I can't do the dishes!" Gene argues

"Unless it's homework, you're doing those dishes" Linda says

"I'm trying to come up with new jingles, mom! It's kind of like homework for myself!"

"Gene. Do the dishes" Bob says, ending the argument

"Aw.." Gene says sadly

* * *

"Well, Louise, you're times up" Mr. Frond says, looking at the clock

"Finally! It's been years!" Louise complains

"Louise, it's been all of 2 hours"

"More like 2 years! I feel so isolated from society! Who am I? Who are you?"

"Louise, you're exaggerating. Just please leave my office"

"Fine!" Louise yells, just before slamming the door. About a second later, she props it open again "And by the way, I spit in your coffee while you went to the rest room!" She screams before leaving, which also caused Frond to spit out his coffee like there was no tomorrow

While Louise head for the school door, she spots Andy and Ollie standing there "Andy? Ollie? The hell are you two doing here at 5:00?"

"We were waiting for you!" Ollie says

"Yeah! We were planning on walking home with you!" Andy adds

Louise wasn't sure if she should be charmed or really disturbed "Well, ok, I guess. Just don't slow me down"

"We only slow ourselves down, Louise!" Ollie says

"Ha ha! Yeah!" Andy laughs

"Wait a second..." Louise says to herself before gasping "Dammit! It's dishes night at the restaurant! Now I wish I was still at detention!" She crosses her arms and thinks for a moment, then she gets an idea "Hmmm.. Andy, Ollie!"

"Yeah?" Both twins answer simultaneously

"How would you two like to go hang out by the gas station?" Louise asks

"That sounds fun!" Andy says excitedly

"If Andy thinks it's fun, then I think it's fun!" Ollie agrees

"Perfect. No dishes for me tonight, thank you" Louise beams "Come on Tweedle Dorks, let's get going"

So the three 9th graders depart, and after some walking and a whole lot of talking from the twins, they're nearly there

"Ugh, what time is it?" Louise groans "My feet are killing me!"

"I've heard you can tell the time just from the sun!" Andy says

"Yeah! So have I!" Ollie adds

"The sun's about to set, you buffoons!" Louise blurts out

"It'll still work!" Andy says. The two twins stare at the sun for a good amount of time

"Well?" Louise says

"I dunno" Andy says with a shrug

"What I do know is that my eyes hurt like crazy now!" Ollie says

"So do mine!" Andy gasps. The two twins laugh, completely ignoring that they may have possibly impaired their vision

Louise scurries into her hoodie pocket and pulls out a watch. It wasn't digital and used Roman numerals, so this wasn't going to be easy

"Hmm.. It's 6:15. We've been walking for an entire hour!" Louise screams "Where the hell is that gas station? I thought you guys said you knew where it was!"

"We do!" Ollie claims "Those trains shouldn't be too far from here!"

"Did you just say train?" Louise asks "There aren't any trains at the gas station!"

"Oh! You were looking for the gas station?" Andy asks "We were thinking of the train station! Our bad!"

Louise just stands there in total disbelief "YOU'VE BEEN LEADING ME IN THE WRONG DIRECTION FOR AN ENTIRE FRICKING HOUR?!"

"I guess" Andy shrugs with a clueless grin

Louise clenches her fist and grits her teeth "I'M GONNA KILL YOU! RAAAAAH!" She lunges towards the twins as they cover each other defensively, but she's halted by a tap on the shoulder "Huh?" She says turning around

It was a tall man with both of his hands in his jacket pocket "Excuse me, but did I just overhear you kids saying you were looking for the gas station?"

The bunny-ear clad girl sighs in relief "Oh my goodness, yes!"

"Well it isn't too far from here. Just walk towards the end of that curb, take a right, take another right, take 3 lefts, and walk forward for another half mile and you should be there" He replies

"Thank you so god damn much, sir!" Louise says, now on her knees and pulling at her pink ears "Come on, guys! There's no time to lose!" She says, grabbing onto Andy and Ollie's arms

"We'd prefer to have both our arms grabbed by the same hand" Ollie asks, and Louise holds the two boys with one hand "Thanks!"

* * *

"... And walk for another half mile..." Louise says, trying to recall what the man had told her

"Are we almost there, Louise?" Andy asks, panting "My legs hurt in these shoes!"

"My legs hurt too!" Ollie says

"Let's trade!" Andy offers, removing his shoes

"Definitely!" Ollie obliges, as they both swap kicks

"Hey! Less talk, more walk!" Louise gripes

"Hey, Andy! Let's do what those 2 twins were doing on that documentary we saw last night with Dad!" Ollie suggests

"You mean the ones who shared the same shirt and walked in the same places?" Andy asks

"Yeah!" Ollie says

"Those were SIAMESE twins, you guys. They CAN'T be separated, they were born that way!" Louise impatiently explains

"Hey! We can't be separated! I guess that makes us Siamese twins!" Ollie says

"Yeah!" Andy says. Louise face palms

Andy grabs onto his blue shirt and pulls it over Ollie's head and the two begin absent-mindedly running around, laughing "Ha ha ha!"

Louise looks at the watch again "6:45. Great"

"Ha ha ha! Whee!" Ollie and Andy laugh, but due to their lack of attention, they both bump into a rather long, glowing pole "Oof!" They say, falling over

"Ouch! What was that?" Ollie exclaims, rubbing his head

Louise catches up to the two and sees them on the ground "Woah. What happened to you two?"

"That big pole thing hit us!" Andy says, pointing to the pole in front of them

Louise stares at it and her eyes begin trailing up. Turns out that glowing pole was a sign, and it read "Local Gas Station" in large, glowing letters. Louise grins "We're here" She says, still holding her smirk

"Ooh! It's so shiny!" Ollie says, mesmerized by the sign

"I know, right?" Andy agrees "So now that we're here, what should we do, Louise?"

"Hmm.." Louise thinks "I think I have some money with me" She checks both of her hoodie pockets, and aside from a few lint balls, she found nothing "Crap, I must've left my cash back at the restaurant!" She sighs and crosses her arms. What was the point in walking for nearly 2 hours if she just had to turn back home? She looks over at the convenience store by the station. Bare. The cashier and about 2-3 customers were still in there... Would she even dare? She looks back at the ground, and her stomach starts growling like a sabertooth. She then stares over at the store again "... Should I? Could I?" The young girl says to herself. Was **_stealing_** really an option?

This is Louise Belcher, after all. One of the most, if not _the most_ rebellious kid out there. She lies, she fights, she gets detentions nearly weekly, but she could never bring herself to actually steal something. Think of the consequences: if she was caught, she could possibly land in juvenile detention for a good couple years. Even if she didn't get caught, she could barely live with herself knowing what she did, and might even turn herself in out of guilt. Let's be honest, knowing Louise's natural stealthy and secretive nature, she could probably go in and out without a single eye witness spotting her. But after some more thought and consideration, she had made up her mind

"Ollie, Andy. Wait out here"

Louise slowly creeps through the vacant lot. She'd quickly hide behind the nearest object when she heard someone approaching or any sound in general. Heck, she felt more like a spy than a thief. Her movement gradual and steady than they were fast, so she wasn't getting anywhere. But she couldn't risk being caught. Could Louise even survive a day in jail? She could run the school, but definitely not juvy. Not to mention that those pink bunny ears weren't exactly as intimidating as they were silly. Sweat trickled down her forehead at the thought of a lifetime in prison. All this pressure and she wasn't even close to 17 ft from the entrance

"Hey, Louise! We've gotta use the bathroom!" Ollie says rather loudly, startling her

"Hey! Shut it! I'm kind of busy here!" Louise yells, shushing them "And why do you **both** need to use the rest room?!"

"We share a bladder! And a stomach!" Andy says

"And a brain..." Louise murmurs. Louise continues to slowly tip toe across the lot. It seemed like the farther she was getting from home, the closer she was getting to the most perilous mission of her life. She looks back, the twins seem completely oblivious to what's going on (as usual). She faces forward again and gulps. With one giant leap, she starts heading for the store swiftly. There was no more time to waste "AGHH!" She triumphantly yells as she continues to sprint like a mad man. Though with the blood and adrenaline rushing in, she wasn't paying much attention to where she was heading, and next thing she knew, she had ambushed an unknown citizen, causing them both to fall over

"Ahh!" Louise screams

"Ouch! Hey!" The mysterious individual exclaims

Louise was now face to chest with the being. When she lifted her head, she saw their head was turned over. _Did I... Kill them?!_ She thought. She was just about to rob a convenience store, and she couldn't risk being charged for murder too. No matter how much she talked about it, she'd never actually wanna kill someone, unless she really detested them. But she began to feel something. A sort of... Liquid kind of substance... She turned her head and saw gasoline oozing down her back, and it was coming from the gas hose the person was wielding

"Louise! Are you ok?" Andy asks, as he and his twin brother approached her

Louise was still on the person "Yeah, I'm fine.." She murmurs. She pokes at their head "Hey!"

"Ugh... Wha...?" They say, slowly lifting their head up, and as they turn their head over, revealing themselves, Louise gasps. She couldn't believe her eyes

"Oh my christ..." She says to herself, with her hands on her face

 _"L-Logan?"_

* * *

It had been 5 years. 60 months. 1,825 days. 43,800 hours, yet Louise could never miss that face, despite how much he's changed in appearance

He looks at her straight in the eyes, still on the ground, and he had now lost grasp of the hose he was previously holding. He first looked at her face, then his eyes trailed up to her long ears "Four ears..." He says to himself, still loud enough for Louise to hear "Oh my gosh. Louise? Louise Belcher?!" He exclaims to himself. He could never forget those ears of hers

"Holy crap..." Louise blurts out, still incredibly shocked

"I'm confused. Am I missing something?" Ollie asks, looking at the two with a perplexed glance

"So am I!" Andy says "We're so in sync!"

It seemed like they were staring for ages, until Louise finally spoke up

"Heh. You look like a god damn werewolf..." Louise smirks, looking him up and down

"And you look like you enjoy being on top of me right now" Logan says, with an equally devious smirk

Louise, now realizing she was still sitting over him, quickly jumped off. Her cheeks began to slowly become pink "I-I wasn't-"

"Is that red I see in your face?" Logan teases

Her face was now completely flushed, and she did not looked happy "Wh-What the hell are you- ... Why the hell are you here?!"

"Why the hell are YOU here, four ears?" Logan asks, getting up and dusting himself off

"I asked you first, you son of a bitch, and don't call me that!" Louise growls

"Hmph, ok. I'll tell you" Logan grumbles

"Ooh! Story time!" Andy says, clapping

"Andy, Ollie, go over there and do... Something! I don't care!" Louise commands the twins, who happily follow her orders "Now, you were saying?"

"Ah, so you **are** interested in my story?" Logan grins, crossing his arms

"Would you just tell me already?! I couldn't care less!" Louise hisses

Jeez, Louise wasn't wrong to call Logan a werewolf. He was covered in hair literally everywhere on his body. His arms, his legs, and other places I'd rather not mention. His hair almost went down to his shoulders and was incredibly spiky and thick. He had dark undereyes, thick eyebrows, and a small patch of hair on his chin. Chest hair was slightly protruding from his black tank top, and half of said tank top was covered by a drooping beige hoodie. He had torn jeans with hair sticking out from the holes and black shoes

"I'll try to keep it brief" Logan says "So I'm in my 3rd year of college-"

"Pfft. Grandpa..." Louise mutters

"Hey! I'm telling the story! Anyways, I'm in my 3rd year of college, at least, I'm **supposed** to be. I kind of dropped out a few months ago, so I've still gotta crash at my mom's place until I find a place of my own-"

"Typical Logan, can't do anything for himself and has to run to his mommy for help" Louise jeers, crossing her arms

"Shut it, Belcher! I'm talking!" Logan snaps "But if I wanna stay there, my mom says I need to pay for rent. So this is the only place that was willing to take me in as an employee"

"I see..." Louise says, examining the gas station. She wasn't even surprised. Logan wasn't exactly the one to rule to the country or find the cure for cancer

"Well?"

"Well what?" Louise asks

"I was just waiting for you to land another one of your 'hilarious' zingers on me" Logan says, using air quotes on "hilarious"

Louise shrugs "I don't have time to waste on making fun of you" She says

"So you do care" Logan smiles, flicking her bunny hat

"Grrr!" Louise growls like a dog at him

"You still haven't answered _my_ question" Logan says "What are you doing here?"

"Because" Louise simply says

"Because...?" Logans asks, expecting more of an answer

"Because" Louise repeats with a shrug "That's all"

"Ok then" Logan says, rolling his eyes "Then what's with the 2 Olsen twins over there" He asks, directing his head over at Ollie and Andy, who are playing with an air hose near the back

"They're just tagging along with me" Louise answers. After that, the two just stood there in awkward silence, avoiding eye contact, until Logan finally broke the ice

"Ok, Louise. Cut to the chase. What were you really trying to do here?" Logan asks

"For the last fricking time, I'm just here because!" Louise exclaims

"Do you think I'm an idiot or something?" Logan says as he arches his eyebrow

"Well, yeah" Louise answers

"That was a rhetorical question, idiot" Logan says "What I mean is that I know you were trying to steal from that store"

"Wh-What?! I wasn't trying to- Why would I- ..." Louise stands there biting her lip "Would you just mind your own god damn business for once?! My god!"

"I don't care if you were" Logan admits "What am I even supposed to do? Go tell on you like some snitch? It's none of my business"

"Except it IS, you bone head" Louise says "If you happened to forgot, you kind of run this crap fest"

"Louise, I don't give two damns about what you do here. What? Do you want me to tell on you or something?" Logan asks with a smug smile "Because I can just walk right in there and go tell them what you were planning on doing, if you want"

"What?! No! You better not!" Louise says, trying her best not to sound as if she was begging

"Heh, don't you worry your little tail" Logan grins

Louise gives him a glare that could kill millions at once and clenches her fist "Don't you ever talk to me like that again, or I'll rip out your intestines and use it as a jumprope..." She threatens

"Oh jeez! I'm soooo scared! Whatever shall I do?" Logan sarcastically frets, as he proceeds to laugh

"Just so you know, I could kill you right now if I wanted to" Louise hisses, putting her fist down "Andy, Ollie, we're out of here. Let's go"

"Ok, Louise!" They both say

"Aw, leaving so soon?" Logan teases "Well, see you later"

"I will NOT see you later!" Louise screams

"Pfft, ok. But in case you ever need me..." He grabs a crumbled piece of paper and a pen, and starts scribbling down a few numbers "Here's my number"

"Why would I ever need this?" Louise asks

"Trust me, you'll need it someday"

She raises her eyebrow, then snatches it from him and carelessly shoves it in her pocket "I will never, ever use this"

"We'll see" Logan smirks, reclining himself on one of the gas station's meter machines

Louise turns back and starts walking, as Andy and Ollie tag along behind her

"Night, four ears!" Logan calls out before she exits the area

"DON'T FRICKING CALL ME THAT!" Louise screams as she runs so she could get the last word. The 3 teens continue their trip back to their homes

"Louise, was that your boyfriend?" Ollie asks

"Yeah! Was that your boyfriend?" His brother also inquires

"What?! Are you out of your mind?!" Louise yells "Isn't it OBVIOUS?!"

"So is that a yes?" Andy asks

"No! He isn't! And he never will be!" Louise says with her hands up in the air

The whole thing seemed so weird, honestly. Running into Logan like that out of nowhere. The last time she'd seen him was when he was... *shudder* WORKING at her restaurant for college credits, and to think it was just so her dad could have some garden. But what was that weird sensation she felt when she had saw him? No, not that obnoxious gas trickling down her shirt. Was it... Bliss..? No! It couldn't have been! Louise has always despised Logan Bush and she always will. He had no redeeming qualities whatsoever, what was there to even like about him? He was simpleminded, childish, and just overall annoying. Louise could never really CARE about the guy... Could she?

"Besides, the last thing I could care about is love" Louise says, continuing her response to the twins "It's just a waste of time. I'd never fall for a guy"

"What about Boo Boo from Boys4Now?" Ollie asks

"That was 5 years ago, Ollie! I was... Er... Going through a phase!" Louise says "Besides, how do you even know about that? I never told you two about that"

"Your sister Tina told us a while ago! But she says we shouldn't tell you that she told you that!" Andy replies, completely unaware that he had done exactly what she said not to do

"Tina..." Louise gravely says, clenching her fists to her face

About another hour later, they had finally reached Ocean Avenue and found their homes

"Bye, Louise!" Andy and Ollie say as they wave to her and enter the pizzeria that they resided in

"Bye, guys" Louise replies, waving

As the Pesto twins entered, they were met with an extremely displeased father

"Where the hell were you two all night?! I was worried- er... Wh-Where were you two?" Jimmy Pesto Sr. screamed with crossed arms. Just like Linda and Bob, he was starting to grow some grey hairs too. He still ran Jimmy Pesto's Pizzeria, and it didn't seem like he was going to quit until Bob did

"We were out in an abandoned gas station!" Andy answers with a dopey smile

"Yeah! With Louise!" Ollie grins

"Ugh... You still hang out with that dumb Belcher kid? No kid of mine is gonna hang out with a kid of his!" Jimmy angrily says

"And when we went to the gas station, we met this guy who had a ton of hair!"

"Yeah! And Louise called his a werewolf or something like that!"

"And he called her Four Ears!"

"And then me and Andy spent the rest of the night playing with that air meter machine there!"

"And then we walked home!"

Jimmy just stood there, speechless. He had no idea what to say. Should he had punished them? He had no clue "... Just... Go to bed..." He merely says, as he walks upstairs, still completely befuddled

Louise stood outside of her restaurant and gazed at her watch "9:45" she sighs. The sky was pitch black and it was so quiet you could hear pin drop. No, scratch that, a feather. The lights in the restaurant were off, everyone must've been asleep. She slowly creaked the door open, and tip toed in. But when she though the coast was completely clear...

Flick. The lights turned on

"Louise Valentina Belcher"

Crap. Middle name

Louise looks at the counter and sees her dad with his finger placed on the light switch

"Oh, uh... Hey dad! So, how's life been?" She casually asks with an awkward smile. Too bad for her, he wasn't smiling back

"Louise, it's nearly 10 o' clock. Where the hell have you been all day?!" He asks angrily

"I was in detention!" Louise says

"For 7 hours?!"

"And then I had to walk home!"

"Louise, it doesn't take you more than 30 minutes to walk home"

She began to nervously look down at the floor. He couldn't tell her what she was really doing, he'd flip out

"I... Well..." She nervously says, keeping her eyes down

Bob puts his arm down from the switch and shakes his head disapprovingly "Louise, you've done some terrible things, but stay out for 7 hours without even telling us where you were going?! We were all worried sick! You have no idea how scared your mother was! Not to mention that Tina and Gene had to do the dishes for you!"

 _Phew_ she thought. At least one good thing had come from this

"Until you tell me where you were and what you were doing, you're grounded" He says. Louise was about to say something, but quickly stopped herself before she made it worse "Go to bed" Bob finally concludes, going back upstairs and leaving her in the restaurant

"Well, I screwed up big time..." Louise sighs. At least he didn't have to find out what had happened, and with this grounded time, she would be able to come up with a good, convincing lie that'll only get her slightly in trouble. You know what they say, with every bad, there is a good. Well, somewhat good in this case

* * *

 **Hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I really like how it came out! Also, I'd like to apologize for the slightly OOC Louise near the end. I'm sure the original Louise wouldn't have let Bob ground her that easily. And about the whole "Valentina" thing, I just wanted to give Louise a middle name that completely conflicted with her rebellious personality. I thought it would be a funny touch XD**


	4. Crawl Space 2: The Crawling

Disclaimer - The rights to Bob's Burgers and its characters belong to Loren Bouchard, Bento Box Entertainment, and any others associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction, this is all just for fun :)

 **Welcome to Chapter 4 of BTTF! I apologize for nearly reusing the same plot as "Crawl Space", but I wanted to do a chapter focusing more on the entire family than just Tina, Gene, and Louise. Besides, I loved this episode too much to not reference it at some point in the story! I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

 **Bob to the Future - Chapter 4: Crawl Space 2: The Crawling**

Ah, the first weekend of the new school year, how refreshing. It was early Saturday morning, and everybody was pumped for 2 whole days of missing summer vacation. Nothing but relaxation and peace on days like this...

 _ **"DAAAAAAAD!"**_

Well, apparently not in the Belcher household

"Come on, Dad! Please?!"

It was 7:00 in the morning, and Louise was currently in her parent's room, kneeling on their bed, and shaking her half asleep father

"Ugh... Louise, for the last time, no!" Bob says in a tired tone

"Oh come on! You promised!" Louise says

"No I didn't" Bob claims

"You did too promise I could go to Kopi-Land this weekend!" Louise says, holding up a pamphlet. Turns out Louise was begging to go to the annual Kopi-Land this year, only for the 11th time ever

"When did I ever say that?" Bob asks, turning himself over to face his youngest daughter

Louise pulls out a tape recorder and hits the "Play" button, and it begins playing a recording Louise made last night

In the recording, a door is heard creaking open, and then actually dialogue begins

"Hey! Hey! Dad! Wake up!" Louise says in the recording

Some loud snoring is heard, which could only be Bob

"Do I really snore that loud in my sleep?" Bob asks outside of the video

"Yup!" Louise nods

"Dad! Get up!" Louise repeats in the recording

Some moaning is heard, and then Bob's tired voice is soon heard "Ugh... L-Louise? It's 2 in the morning, what do you want?"

"Can I go to Kopi-Land this weekend?" She asks

"Wh-What?" Bob says before yawning

"Kopi-Land! Can I go? Please?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you want" Bob says "Just go back to sleep..."

"Yes!" Louise says, and the recording concludes

"Louise, I was tired and completely unaware of what you said. I just wanted you to go back to sleep" Bob says

"A promise is a promise!" Louise proudly says

"What's the big deal about this Kopi thing anyways? You're 14, Louise. Why do you wanna waste your time at some dumb kiddie amusement park?"

"Kopi-Land is NOT a dumb kiddie amusement park!" Louise yells "It's only the coolest, most amazingly epic amusement park ever made! Plus, it's only one a year!"

"Yes, Louise. You've made that last part very clear to me for the last 11 years you asked me..." Bob groans

"And every year, I'm right!" Louise says

"We just can't afford to take you this year!" Bob says

"You say that every year!" Louise mentions, and she had a point

"Besides, need I remind you that you're grounded? Even if I had the money, I wouldn't take you" Bob says

"Can't I just have a cheat day from my punishment? Like people have on diets?" Louise pleads, hoping she convinced him

"Louise, you are not going to Kopi-Land this year, and possibly, never. Now leave before you wake your mother up" Bob replies, turning his head back down onto the pillow

Louise glares at him angrily "Ugh! I'll find a way to go to Kopi-Land if it's the last thing I do!" Louise hisses

"Yeah, yeah, sure" Bob tiredly replies "Just go back to sleep, Louise..."

Louise storms out of their bedroom, but not without shutting the door furiously, which startled Bob, causing him to fall out of his bed "AHH!" He screamed as he fell flat on the ground

* * *

About 3 hours later, everyone was up and down in the restaurant preparing for another day

"Ok, guys. Chop, chop. The restaurant's opening in a few hours and this place has gotta look nice" Bob says from behind the counter

"This place not looking nice never stopped us before!" Gene comments

"Gene" Bob says with a glare directed at him

"And not just that, Hugo's supposed to be coming today to do his monthly check on the restaurant!" Linda mentions

"Ugh" Bob says, cringing "Don't remind me. I can't believe that guy still lives to make our lives miserable"

" ** _I_** still can't believe he's chasing after me!" Linda states "Well, not that I could blame the guy!" She adds, with a hair flip

The kids were all at one table. Tina was cleaning the table top, Gene was scrubbing down the seats, and Louise was sitting there, angrily holding onto her Kuchi Kopi figurine

"Ugh..." She groans "11 years of asking and 11 years of rejection... Great..."

"Are you still sad about Kopi-Land?" Gene asks, and Louise simply nods in response

"It's ok, Louise. When you grow up and look back on this, you'll laugh at how silly it was to want to go there in the first place" Tina reassures her

"I will never be satisfied until I go to Kopi-Land!" Louise gripes

"Ugh. Is Louise still whining about that amusement park?" Bob says, glaring over at her with disgust "I figured she'd grown out of that thing by now"

"Well, Bobby, you've been depriving her of the chance to go for years now!" Linda explains, as she cleans the restaurant's menus

"But I've taken her to even better amusement parks before! Like Wonder Wharf!" Bob says

"And?" Linda asks, crossing her arms

"And... Um... Wonder Wharf..." Bob repeats "Bottom line is, she isn't going, and she needs to accept that"

"Bobby, you're being irrational!"

"No, I'm being a good parent!"

Linda merely rolls her eyes at his ignorance. Sometimes, he could never admit that he was wrong

Just then, the restaurant door's bell is signaled as it opens and someone enters

"Woah, we haven't even opened yet" Bob says without looking up to see who had entered. Though, when he does, he looks fairly shocked "Oh god"

It was Hugo Habercore and his trustful crony, Ron "Hello, Belchers. Hugo Habercore here!" He says, as he proudly flashes his badge at them

"Ugh. Hugo, we know who you are" Bob groans "You don't have to flash that stupid badge of yours every time you're in here"

"I just figured you must've forgotten, since you Belchers always forget what I tell you about practicing proper hygiene in a family friendly restaurant like this" Hugo states "We haven't even started the monthly health check yet and you guys are already being written down for rude behavior! Ron! Write that on the notepad!"

"Rude... Behavior..." Ron murmurs to himself as he scribbles it down

Ron and Hugo were nearly the same age as Bob and Linda, so they're aging has also physically got to them. Hugo seems to be a bit slower than he used to be and so was Ron. They both had noticeable age-related facial changes, but nothing too severe

"Will you just start the inspection already?" Bob demands

"I was just getting to that, Bob!" Hugo claims. Then his eyes shift over to his ex fiance "Ah, Linda. So, have you changed your mind about breaking up with me yet? Ready to come crawling back?"

"Hugo, we're both nearing our 50's, even if I wanted to, it wouldn't matter" Linda sternly replies, crossing her arms

"Age is just a number Linda!" Hugo smirks

"Ugh, are you gonna do your inspection thing or what?" Linda hisses

"Ah, of course!" Hugo says "Ron, follow me"

"Got it" The rather tall assistant replies, following his boss

Hugo began scrounging the floor and under the tables for any kind of kind of infectious matter eating at the restaurant. After that, he goes to the back kitchen and starts looking "Hm... Are you guys still serving human flesh?"

"We were never serving human flesh in the first place, Hugo! You know that!" Bob snaps harshly

Hugo starts inspecting an already made burger by the sink. He lifts the bun up and examines it closely "Hmm... No hair, no flakes, and no other miscellaneous substances. Ron, we're all set"

Ron starts scribbling down some more notes on the pad "Got it"

The two head back to the entrance of the restaurant "Ok, it looks like the place is clear of any harmful material" Hugo reports "Surprisingly..." He silently murmurs under his breath

"Hey! I heard that!" Bob claims

"Ok, Ron, let's head back to the-" Hugo begins, but is cut off when he begins to feel something crawling on his ankle ".. What the..?" He looks down, and spots a live _rat_

"Oh god" Bob says under his breath, catching a glimpse of the rat also. Linda just gasps

"Hey, look. That rat seems to really like Hugo" Tina remarks, looking over at it

"Cool! We finally have a pet!" Gene blissfully exclaims

Hugo stares at the animal in disgust "Why is there a RODENT in here?!"

"Hugo, I have no idea how that got there, honest" Bob claims

"Yeah!" Linda adds

"Possibly because of this obscene establishment you're running! It's clearly attracting rats!" Hugo fumes "I'm sure this isn't even the only one!"

And sure enough 3 more rats come along and begin scurrying around the restaurant

"Ah! Oh god! Oh god!" Linda fearfully exclaims, jumping onto the counter to avoid them

"Ok, who brought the rats in here?" Bob asks facing his kids

"Who let the rats out? Who? Who? Who?" Gene chants

"Gene" Bob sternly says, with a displeased look

"Ok, I may or may not have brought in some rats a while ago-" Louise says

"I should've known it was you, Louise!" Bob barks

"Hey! Let me finish!" Louise says "I only brought home 2 rats 2 weeks ago!"

"Well then the only logical explanation is that they reproduced all over the restaurant" Bob explains

"Wow! They got to third base in just 2 weeks? Good for them!" Gene says with a thumbs up

"So your restaurant's crawling with rodents? Why am I not surprised..." Hugo sighs "Belchers, I'm not closing down your restaurant just yet, but if all those rats aren't gone by tomorrow, I will be! But for now..." He then raises up a large yellow sign which reads "RESTAURANT IS CURRENTLY INFESTED WITH RODENTS" in large black letters, with an illustration of a rat under it

"Isn't infested an exaggeration?" Bob asks "I'm sure there isn't more than, like, 10"

"Probably not. I've heard that rats can give birth to tons in just a few days" Tina explains

"Ugh, thanks Tina..." Bob sarcastically says, rolling his eyes

"Good riddance, Belchers! Come on, Ron!" Hugo says, leaving with his assistant

"Great. What is this, the second time Louise has done something like this to our restaurant?" Bob asks

"Wow, first you get yourself grounded and then you infest the restaurant with rats? You're on a roll today, Louise!" Gene laughs

"Shut it, Gene!" Louise hisses at him

"Well we're gonna need to keep the rats somewhere and then dispose of them later" Linda explains. She then starts scrounging for something under the counter and pulls out a cardboard box with small holes surrounding it "I think this is a good place"

"But how do we know where the rats are? They could be anywhere!" Bob states

"Well, I remember letting the rats sleep in the attic right above my bedroom, but they might've spread out" Louise explains

"Spread out where? There isn't really any place to spread out in the attic" Bob says

"Not in the attic, but it's connected to the apartment's crawl space" Louise adds "So they must be in there!"

"Ok then. Louise, go get them out of there" Bob insists

"What?! Why me?" Louise asks

"Because you brought them in here!" Bob argues

"But Bobby, she's only 14!" Linda says, defending Louise

"Lin, when I was 14 I was _making_ attics" Bob says "It shouldn't be a problem for Louise"

"You know how reckless she can be! What if she gets herself stuck in there?" Linda says

Bob sighs "Ok, fine. I'll do it. But I just want you to know, Louise. This is all your fault"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it already!" Louise acknowledges

So Bob heads upstairs with the box to the hallway in between their bedrooms and pulls out a ladder. He opens the entrance of the crawl space and squeezes himself up inside. Once he was situated, he closed the entrance and starts crawling "Jeez, when was the last time I was up here? It smells awful..."

The rest of the Belcher's were downstairs in the restaurant "Bobby! Are you in there yet?" Linda calls out from the kitchen

He begins to crawl towards her voice "Yeah, I'm in"

"Ok, look for those rodents! We need to get rid of them before tomorrow!" Linda instructs

"Yeah, I was there when Hugo said that, Lin" Bob says, slightly irritated

Gene and Tina were currently peering out the glass door of the restaurant, and noticed the disgusted faces people were making when they passed the building, possibly due to the obnoxious sign

"We must be the snakes of the restaurant business, since people keep avoiding us like the plague!" Gene says

"Then Jimmy Pesto's must be the horse, because everyone's going to his restaurant" Tina says

"What?! They are?" Bob says from the walls

"Yeah, and now he's taunting us I think" Tina adds, glancing over at him, who is indeed making fun of Bob's restaurant by blowing raspberry and dancing around like a child

"That bastard! I wish I was out there so I could give him a piece of my mind!" Bob growls "Kids, tell him I said his food and restaurant is awful, I wish he would die, and that he sucks!"

"Really? Wow, ok" Tina says. She then opens the door and screams out "Our dad said we should tell you your food and restaurant is awesome and he wishes you luck"

"WHAT THE- TINA! YOU MISHEARD ME!" Bob yells, but she doesn't hear

"Ha! Of course he does! But I don't need his luck!" Jimmy Pesto claims "But thanks for the message, Belcher kid!"

"No problem. Glad to help" She replies, and closes the door "I told him, Dad"

"Tina, you clearly heard me wrong! Ugh! I hate this stupid crawl space!" Bob complains

"What did he say?" Tina asks her brother

"I don't know, something about space" Gene responds, and then he gasps "Dad! Are we going to space?"

"No! I said I hate this stupid crawl space!" Bob repeats

"Yup! He said we're going to space!" Gene confirms

"Oh, that's nice. Then I'll get to see butts from different planets" Tina flatly replies

"Let's go and plan out the vacation!" Gene says

"Ok" Tina replies, and the two leave the area they were once standing in

"Wait! Guys! Get back here! GUYS!" Bob calls out, but alas, they don't hear him "Oh my gosh..."

"Bobby, are you calling the kids or looking for rats?" Linda asks, placing her hands on her hips "And it better be the latter!"

Bob sighs "Linda, I haven't found any rats up here"

"Well then keep looking! The crawl space is huge, they're bound to be there somewhere" Linda replies "Now chop, chop!"

"Ugh..." Bob groans, and he ventures further. He walks around more and starts looking at corners to see if he was just missing them "They're so small, they could be anywhere..." He murmurs to himself "Hello? Rats? Are you in here?"

"They aren't gonna answer, you know"

Bob swiftly looks behind him "... Who said that? Are you in here?"

"Dad, it's me, Louise"

"Louise? You're in here" He asks

"No, you ding dong! I'm in my room!" Louise says

"Oh, that makes sense, I must be in your walls..." Bob says, relieved that someone wasn't in there with him "Hey! They're probably in here! I mean, they **were** on top of your bedroom, and the attic isn't too far from here. I hope there aren't too many"

"Well, I just finished reading about the rat's reproduction rate on the Internet" Louise says "If I remember correctly, it said something about their gestation period being a total of 21 days, whatever that is"

"Louise, a gestation period is how long it carries its babies" Bob explains "And if you brought it 2 weeks ago, it must've been pregnant before you brought them"

"Well how was I supposed to know that?!" Louise asks "Anyways, after those 21 days, the baby is born, and its litter can be up to 14, if not way more!"

"14..." Bob says to himself, somewhat creeped out

"And if their litter were to have mated-" Louise began, but was cut off

"Ew..." Bob interrupts

"Then there could be twice as much! Maybe even 5 times as much!

"Wait... 14 times 5..." Bob says, trying to do the math in his head "That's 70!"

"It might even be more!" Louise booms

"I-It could?" Bob quakes in fear

"But hey, it's just a possibility" Louise replies with a shrug

"Phew..." Bob says in relief

That's when some squeaks are heard from afar

"... Did you hear that?" Bob asks

"Hear what?" Louise queries

The squeaks begin getting louder, as if they were approaching Bob

"I just keep hearing this high pitched noise.."

"Maybe you're just hearing things, Dad. You're like, what, 90 years old?"

"I'm only 50!"

"More like 50,000"

"Louise!"

"I'm just speaking the truth right now, Dad"

The noise gets louder, and that's when small... Footsteps are heard? That's impossible. There was no one in there but Bob. The noise was even beginning to get loud enough for Louise to clearly hear it

"Hey! I think I'm starting to hear it!" Louise chimes in "It almost sounds like..."

That's when what looked like hundreds of rats start stampeding towards Bob

"RATS!" He exclaimed fearfully

"Nah, I was thinking more of rabbits" Louise remarks

"No, Louise! RATS! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!" Bob screams

"Ohhhh! Now I get it! Hey, great job, Dad! You found them!" Louise congratulates

The rats get closer and some even start surrounding Bob "AHHHH!"

"Oh, stop crying, Dad. I heard they're more afraid of you than you than you are of them" Louise reassures him

"Th-They are...?" Bob asks. But to his dismay, the rats literally tackle him to the ground and he's drowning in a pool of rodents "AHH!" He yells again

"Or am I thinking of spiders? Yeah, definitely spiders" Louise remembers, completely ignoring her dad's screams for help

* * *

About half an hour later, Bob had finally recovered from the initial trauma of being run over by a legion of rats and he had collected them all in his box "Thank god that's over..." The rats seemed to be struggling inside the box, though, who could blame them? There were at least 200 of them and that box wasn't very big. Bob had to pray none of them tried to escape through the air holes in the box

"Hey, Lin? Lin, you there?" Bob calls from the walls

"Yeah! I'm here, Bob!" Linda says, from the kitchen

"Ok, I just collected all the rats from the crawl space" Bob says "So do I just, like, kill them?"

"What?! No!" Linda screams "You are NOT killing those poor rats, Bobby!"

"Well what the hell else am I supposed to do with them? Keep those vermin?" Bob asks

"That'll be our last resort" Linda beams

"Oh god" Bob murmurs

"Let's just leave 'em outside for the next guy to take!" Linda says "I'm sure there's someone out there who wouldn't mind living with a few rats! Now hand me the rats through the shaft"

Bob slips his hand through the rather small dumbwaiter-like shaft in the wall, and Linda takes the rats

"Aw! I hear their little squeaking!" Linda says with a grin "I'm gonna open 'em!"

"Lin! Don't open that thing unless you want this place to be drowning in rodents!" Bob warns

"Ok, I'll call Hugo and his little friend Ron over here to tell them we got rid of those pesky little rats" Linda says, grabbing their landline

"Ugh, can't you just tell them through the phone so they don't have to come here?" Bob pleads

"Like they'll believe us if we just tell them!" Linda remarks "I'm callin' those two to come over here, now get outta there!"

"Ugh.." Bob groans. He crawls back to the opening upstairs and bangs at it to open, but it doesn't. He hits it harder and begins stomping on it furiously "Dammit! It's jammed!" He crawls back to the kitchen's wall area "Um, Lin. The exit's jammed, I'm kind of stuck..."

"Well, Ok, Bobby, I'll-..." Linda begins, but stops herself mid sentence

"You'll what?" Bob asks

"Bobby, are you faking again?" She asks sternly "Because last time you were supposedly stuck in there, it was just to hide from my parents!"

"What?! No! I'm not kidding Lin, I swear!" Bob promises

"Oh, I see. It's because Hugo's coming, isn't it? You're just gonna leave me to deal with him so you don't have to take responsibility!" Linda accuses "I also suppose this is so you can get out of taking Louise to that Kuchi place thing!"

"KOPI-LAND!" Louise screams from upstairs

"Lin! I swear, I'm really stuck!" Bob says

"Stuck or not, Bobby, I don't wanna hear it!" Linda yells "You're staying in there till you learn your lesson, mister!" And with that, she storms out of the kitchen

"Lin? Lin? LIN?!" He shrieks through the walls "GOD DAMMIT!" He screams as he falls to his knees and looks up. He then starts loudly bawling his eyes out, though no tears were actually falling from his eyes. It was more of an exaggeration

"Dad? Hey, dad?"

"Huh?" Bob says, turning around "Who's out there?"

"It's us, Dad"

"Tina? Is that you?"

"It's me too!"

"Gene? You too?"

"And me"

"Louise? Oh thank god you guys are here!" Bob rejoices "Listen, I'm stuck in here, but your mom thinks I'm lying due to... Past events. You guys believe me, don't you?"

"Hmm.. I've read "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" too many times to be _too_ sure!" Gene says

"More like the dad who cried help" Louise jokes, causing her and Gene to giggle

Bob groans, face palming

"I believe you, dad" Tina says

"See, I knew I could trust you, Tina" Bob says, relieved

"Fine, Dad. I'll help you" Louise says "Only because I know if you rot and die in there then no one could take me to Kopi-Land!"

"Mom could" Gene mentions

"Oh, yeah. That's true" Louise says

"GUYS" Bob sternly booms "Help me!"

"Fine..." Gene and Louise sigh

"How do we get you out?" Tina asks

"How do you expect me to know?! I'm literally asking you guys the same thing!" Bob says, frustrated

"I know! We can just make a big hole in the wall, and-" Gene begins

"We are NOT making a hole in the wall, Gene" Bob says

"I have an idea. Just try to slip through that little shaft in the kitchen" Tina says, signaling over to the same shaft Bob handed Linda the rats in

"Tina, I'm 6 ft tall, not 6 inches" Bob sighs

"How about you just go really deep down the crawl space, then find your way underground, go through like a mole, and then pop out in the middle of the street!" Gene suggests "Hopefully there won't be any cars going by"

"Gene, that'll never work" Bob states

"You haven't even tried it yet! You've got the long fingernails to be a mole!" Gene says

"And he's sure as hell got the looks for it" Louise silently jeers

"Louise!" Bob yells

"I'll go upstairs and try to loosen the entrance" Tina says. She runs upstairs, and about 5 seconds later, she returns "I think I just made it worse"

Bob sighs "Tina..."

"Don't worry, Dad. I'll never forget what the Equestranauts have taught me on never giving up. If you just believe hard enough, you should find your way out" Tina advises

"It also taught you to never, ever go into the deep realms of a fandom, only to find out that all of its fanbase is made up of middle aged, fur suit wearing men!" Gene mentions

"Yeah, that too" Tina says

"Tina, if I believe really hard, I won't just magically appear back in the restaurant" Bob says "How do I even believe?"

"I'm not completely sure. I think it's just like, sitting down and clenching your muscles really, really hard" Tina says "If you start sweating, then you're probably doing it right"

"Guys, none of these methods are gonna work" Louise says "I guess Dad's just stuck in there forever, and he'll just stay there, waiting to shrivel up like a prune and die. But let's be honest, it's his time. What is he, like, 100 or something?"

Bob groans, "Oh my gosh... Ok, can one of you just call Teddy over here to free me?"

"Ok, Dad" Tina says, heading for the phone

While Tina's doing that, Louise closely examines the wall. With close examination, she was able to notice 4 small screws that were painted over on the wall "Holy crap..." She runs over to her sister "Tina! Stop calling him!"

"Why?" She asks

"Because I've found a way to get Dad out!" Louise screams

"You have?" Gene asks

"You HAVE?! Oh thank god!" Bob rejoices

"No, don't thank God dad, thank me!" Louise says "I noticed some screws that seemed to have formed a very large square. A square large enough for a human being to fit in! So here's what we'll do. I'll just unscrew the screws, remove the portion of the wall that was screwed in, and Dad can escape. Plus, we can easily screw the piece back on without anyone noticing a thing!"

"Oh wow, you're good" Tina says

"That's a great plan, Louise!" Bob says "Now get me out of here!"

Louise grabs a conveniently placed screwdriver and makes her way to the wall, but she stops herself

"Louise? Aren't you gonna do it?" Bob says

"Yeah, Louise! What's wrong?" Gene asks

"Ok, here's the deal" Louise begins "If you want me to save you, you have to promise to take me to Kopi-Land tomorrow!"

"WHAT?!" Bob screams, astonished that his life is at stake and Louise won't even save him, despite having the ability to

"Ooh, she's got you there, Dad" Gene giggles

"GENE! STAY OUT OF THIS!" Bob growls

"It's your choice Dad. I can easily save you right now if you just take me to Kopi-Land" Louise bargains "Or you can just stay here for the rest of your life and possibly die from hunger"

"Louise! You know I wanna take you to that amusement park but we just can't afford it right now!" Bob pleads with her

"Do you _really_ wanna go, Dad?" Louise inquires

"Well... No, but that's besides the point!" Bob says

"Just what I thought" Louise replies

"Gene, Tina, one of you take that screwdriver from Louise and save me, now!" Bob orders

Louise turns to them and gives them a demonic stare "If you bastards treasure your lives you'll stand BACK!" she growls, and her siblings willingly back up with fearful expressions

"Come on, you guys! She's your youngest sister!" Bob yells

"S-Sorry, Dad, but we kind of wanna keep our limbs!" Gene stammers, trembling, and Tina stiffly nods in agreement

"Louise, you think trapping me in here is gonna make your chances of going any better?!" Bob screams furiously

"You weren't gonna take me anyways!" Louise says "Take me to Kopi-Land!"

"Never!" Bob booms

"Fine, then have fun in the crawl space for the rest of **_life_** " Louise hisses "Come on, Gene and Tina, let's get out of here"

"O-Ok!" Her two scared siblings reply, following her fearfully

"Ugh... Now I know who Linda passed down her stubbornness to..." Bob sighs "I'll just find my own way out!" He dug as deep as he could to find another exit that wouldn't tear the restaurant apart, for he didn't wish to suffer through the same hallucinatory trance he did last time he was trapped in here. Soon enough, he thought he had found a decent exit "There, I'm sure this wouldn't do too much damage to the apartment"

"That's the wall in front of my room!" Louise calls out, turns out she had been following him

"Ugh... Of course it is..." Bob murmurs. He begins crawling again and finds another space "Hm, I'm sure here's fine"

"That's the wall in you and Mom's room!" Louise yells

It wasn't too long before Bob found, yet another area "This looks like a-"

"That's the wall to the _bathroom_ " Louise says

"Louise, would you leave me alone? If you aren't gonna help me get out, you might as well not interfere in any other way" Bob angrily says

"I'd gladly help you out, Father, but you know the rules!" Louise mischievously replies. She then leaves, but not without doing the most conniving, demonic sounding cackle one could utter

"Yeah, that's right, Louise. Leave. I don't need your help..." Bob mutters to himself

 ** _About 2 hours later_**

"Oh god I need your help" Bob groans, now lying on the floor in pain. His face looked so unkempt and tired, and he somehow managed to grow a scraggly stubble in a mere 2 hours. His eyes were slightly red and he just looked like a mess overall

"Ok, guys, it's 10:00, off to sleep!" Linda orders her kids

"But it's Saturday!" Louise complains

"Well you kids just started school and I'll need you guys to get used to the usual sleep schedule" Linda explains

"Hey, Dad? You still in there?" Gene asks, banging on the walls

Bob sighs angrily "Yes, Gene. I'm still in here, and I'm not going anywhere anytime soon..."

"Gene! Quit talking to your father!" Linda commands "He's gonna be in their for a while, let him get comfy"

"Ok!" Gene says, happily leaving

"No! Gene! Gene! Get back here!" Bob begs

"Oh, quiet, Bob" Linda insists "I hope you enjoy sleeping in there, because you sure didn't mind when you were hiding from my parents!"

"Lin, that was literally years ago. Can't you trust me?" Bob asks. Linda simply ignores him and heads upstairs with the rest of the kids

He groans "Ok, Bob. So your wife and kids have trapped you inside the house's crawl space with no food, water, or place to expose of my bodily fluids. That's fine, just fine... You can sleep in here, can't you? Just like Linda said, I've slept in here for days before, who by the way IS A TERRIBLE WIFE!" He says, making sure to put full emphasis on those last 4 words

"I heard that!" Linda screams

"That was the POINT!" Bob yells back

"Well it serves you right for lying!" Linda yells

"For God's sake, Lin, I'M NOT LYING!" Bob shrieks

"Would you guys stop yelling?! I need my beauty sleep!" Gene shouts

"Yeah, beauty like Gene's doesn't just come naturally" Tina adds

"Thank you, my dear sister!" Gene replies, still yelling

"Go to sleep, you two!" Linda calls out at the two

"We can't with all this screaming!" Gene exclaims

"Well I can't sleep at all in this stupid crawl space Linda's holding me captive in!" Bob shouts

"I am NOT holding you captive, I'm teaching you a lesson!" Linda booms

"WOULD YOU ALL SHUT THE FRICK UP?!" Louise shrieks, finally putting an end to the loud conversation, and flicks of lights were heard as everyone turned them off and went to sleep

Bob couldn't get comfortable at all in the crawl space. Why was it so much easier last time? No matter how much he tossed and turned, he couldn't seem to fall asleep

"Ok, don't worry, Bob. I'll probably wear myself out soon and I'll be fast asleep. We won't wake up until, what, 12 hours? It shouldn't be too difficult" He says, resting his head on the wall "Oh god this is uncomfortable..." He sighs

The hours passed really slowly. It seemed like Bob was in there for years but it had only been 10 minutes

"Ugh, go to sleep, god dammit!" He groans. Finally, he shuts his eyes and he starts to get drowsy. It was finally happening, he was drifting off to sleep slowly

* * *

Bob yawns and lifts his head up "That sleep wasn't half bad. I guess I _am_ pretty used to sleeping in here, heh" He smiles "What time is it anyways?" Bob peers his head through the shaft to get a look at the clock

"Oh my gosh it's 2 in the morning" He sighs and lays back down with his red eyes wide open and arms spread out "I can't take one more second of this, I'm getting desperate..." He moans. So Bob starts crawling throughout the area, and ends up in a very familiar section "This should be the right place, if I remember correctly..."

He lightly knocks at the wall "Hey! Louise! Are you there?" He whisper shouts, hoping to wake his daughter up

Luckily, Louise is awoken by the noise and lets out a long yawn "What? Huh?" She drowsily says

"Louise! It's your father! Are you up?" Bob anxiously asks

"Now I am.." Louise yawns "What do you want? A pee bottle? Or do you need to go #2?" Louise asks

"Neither! Louise, can you please get me out of here?" Bob begs

Louise smirks "That depends, are you willing to take me to-"

"Yes, I'll take you to Kopi-Land tomorrow, I promise" Bob says

"... You will?" Louise asks, astonished he actually agreed

"Yes, Louise. I promise we'll go tomorrow- Well, today, if we're getting into specifics" Bob states "Can you just please get me out?"

Louise is silent. She was starting to feel bad for making him do that for her, now that it actually happened

"Well?" Bob repeats

"O-Oh! Yeah! Sure..." Louise agrees "I'll be down there in a minute" She plops herself out of bed and silently runs downstairs to the restaurant. She then makes her way to the wall he's in "Ok, dad, I'm down here"

"Now unscrew that section and open it" Bob commands. She grabs her screwdriver, which she had been keeping in her hat, and starts unscrewing each screw loose. Louise then makes it to the final screw and the portion is loose from the wall "Ok, dad, they're all unscrewed"

"Great, now pull it off" Bob orders

Louise grabs onto the square-shaped section of the wall and strains as she tries to remove. It was almost as if it had been super glued 50 times a day. She uses more muscle her next attempt, and it finally pops off

"Did you get it off, Louise?" Bob asks

"Yup! It's-" Louise says, but stops talking in the middle of her sentence. She stares at the area that had just been removed in shock

"It's what Louise?" Bob inquires "Are you ok?"

"Oh my gosh" Louise gasps "Dad, there's a bit of a problem here..."

"What do you mean 'a bit of a problem'?" Bob asks worriedly

"Well, we've sort of got a Code 0083" Louise explains

"Louise, I'm not a spy. What does that even mean?" Bob questions

"I _mean_ there's a ton of fiberglass insulation covering the area!" Louise explains. She pokes her index finger into it, quickly removes it, and looks at the tip of her finger. It's slightly throbbing red and it seems like it's covered in microscopic shards of glass

"What?! Are you kidding me?!" Bob exclaims rather loudly

"Shh! Be quiet!" Louise whisper shouts "I'm sure there's another exit here somewhere..." Louise says, as she begins feeling every part of the wall with her two palms

"Louise, what are you doing out there?" Bob questions

"I'm feeling the wall with my hands!" She replies

"Louise, it's a wall, not Braille. What's feeling it gonna do?" Bob inquires, slightly annoyed at Louise being no help whatsoever

"Shh! I'm looking for trap doors!" Louise says "I'm sure there's gotta be some in this restaurant"

"I've been working here for years now, Louise. I'm sure I'd know if there were trap doors on the walls..." Bob sighs

"Then maybe there's just another secret exit I don't know about! We found one, it shouldn't be too long till we find another!" Louise says, determined. She grabs her screwdriver and starts striking the wall repeatedly with it

"Louise! What the hell is going on out there?!" Bob worriedly asks

"I'm looking for another exit. Maybe if I hit the screwdriver on it just enough times..." Louise replies

"NO! LOUISE! STOP THAT BEFORE YOU BREAK THE WALL!" Bob screams, a bit too loudly

The sound of Bob's shrieks doubled with the sound of metal smashing against the drywall obviously got some attention around the house, mainly from the Belcher mom

Linda moans as she slowly arises from her bed "Wh-Wha... What's going on...?" She slowly asks "Bob? What's going on... Oh wait, you're in the wall, I forgot..." She yawns, still half awake "Maybe I shouldn't have locked Bob up in the crawl space like that, poor guy probably wasn't even lying... Oh god, what have I done?"

That's when the sound of Bob's screams and the banging on the wall is heard yet again, and Linda gasps

"Oh my gosh! Bobby's in trouble!" She exclaims, finally awake "Ah! I'm coming, Bobby!" She screams, running downstairs

"AHHH! LOUISE! STOP HITTING THE WALL!" Bob shrieks

"What? I can't hear you over how full proof this plan is!" Louise yells over her smashing

"Bobby! Bobby! Are you ok?!" Linda frets as she reaches the restaurant. She then sees Louise hitting the wall "Louise?! What are you doing down here at 2 in the morning?"

Louise turns around and stops stabbing the wall "Oh, hey mom" She greets "I'm just trying to bust dad out of the wall since he finally agreed to take me to Kopi-Land"

"What? You gave in that easily, Bob?" Linda asks

"Ugh. Yes, ok? How else was I gonna get out of here if you weren't gonna help me?" Bob says

"That's true, and I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry, Bobby! I feel so bad!" Linda sobs

Bob sighs "It's fine, Linda. At least you're sorry"

Just then, Gene and Tina walk downstairs in their sleepwear "What's all that racket?! I was just having the best dream about sentient food, and now it's ruined!" Gene complains

"Is everything ok? Is there a horse in here? Oh my gosh, there's a horse in there, isn't there?" Tina asks excitedly, though she doesn't seem to show it in her facial expression

"No, Tina. There's no horse in here.." Bob sighs

"Oh, it's Dad" Tina says "I guess that's almost as good"

"Can you guys help me before Louise breaks the wall into pieces?" Bob asks

"Kids, find a way to get your father out of the wall!" Linda commands

"I didn't wake up for this!" Gene whines

"I agree with Gene. I was expecting to see an elegant stallion down here" Tina admits

"Ok, first kid to save him gets a week without chores!" Linda says

"Now _that's_ more like it!" Gene chimes, so the 2 siblings join in with Louise in trying to get Bob out of the crawl space. Most of their method's included hitting, breaking, and just flat out destroying the wall in an attempt to find another exit

"Don't worry, Bobby, you'll be out there in a jiffy!" Linda reassures him

"Um, Lin. Are you sure this is a good idea?" Bob asks "One of the kids could get hurt, and more importantly, so could I"

"Aw, don't be such a party pooper, Bob. This is definitely gonna work!" Linda says

"But is it safe?" Bob asks

"When did this have to be safe, Bobby? I thought we were just trying to get you out of there" Linda says

"Oh my gosh" Bob groans

"Don't worry dad! Just give it a few more smashes and you'll be out of there!" Louise says, as she punches the wall

"Does someone have a flamethrower with them, perchance?" Gene asks

"No flamethrowers, Gene!" Bob says "I wanna get out of here _alive_ "

"Yeah! If he isn't alive he can't take me to Kopi-Land like he promised!" Louise says

"Louise, I hope you're still fully aware that this is all your fault!" Bob reminds her

"Yeah, you've made that clear to me at least 60 times today!" Louise says

"You kids are getting nowhere, I'm stepping in" Linda says, walking over to the wall "Hi-yah!" She exclaims, as she punches at the wall

"Ouch! My face was pressed up against there!" Bob grunts, rubbing his right cheek

"Oh, my bad, Bobby!" Linda apologizes "Ok, then how about... Ki-YAH!" She yells, now kicking at a lower angle

Bob flinches "And that was my crotch..." He winces, holding onto his now sore nether regions

"Yikes! Looks like we aren't having anymore siblings!" Gene jokes

"Have you guys found anything yet?" Tina asks

"Yeah, Tina! I have!" Louise exclaims "This exit's perfect! Dad can fit right through it and everyone will be happy and sunshine and rainbows and it's also a portal that leads to a land full of magical horses!"

"Oh my gosh. It is?" Tina asks, fascinated

"God dammit, Tina! No! I was being sarcastic!" Louise yells angrily "If I had found something I would've told you by now!"

"Oh" Tina says

"Are you sure breaking the wall isn't an option?" Louise asks

"No!" Bob shouts

While hitting, Tina is able to create a very small hole. About small enough for 2 eyes to peer through at the same time "Hey, guys! I think we've found out exit" She says, pointing to the dent

"Tina, Dad isn't gonna fit out there" Louise states

"Yeah, but if we just pull him hard enough, maybe he'll slip out like butter" Tina explains

Bob squints "What? That makes no sen-"

"Hey! That's actually a pretty good idea!" Gene agrees

"We could give it a shot" Louise says

"Oh my gosh..." Bob groans "Guys, pulling me out isn't going to do anything but-"

"Do you wanna get out of there or not, Bob?" Linda asks, placing her hands on her shoulders

"Well, yeah. But-"

"Ok, then! Let's pull!" Louise says "Dad! Stick your arm out through the hole!"

Bob reluctantly slips his arm through the small hole "Guys, is this really going to work?"

"Of course" Tina says "Now pull!"

Linda grabs Bob's arm, Tina grabs Linda, Gene grabs Tina, Louise grabs Gene, and they all start pulling, straining in the process

"C-Come on, Dad!" Louise strains, heaving intensely at her father's arm "How much do you weigh?!"

"What? This isn't my weight, Louise, it's because you guys are trying to squeeze a grown man out of a 6 inch wide hole in the wall!" Bob explains

"Potato, Potahto" Louise says, rolling her eyes

Despite all their efforts, it seemed like no matter how much they pushed and pulled, they just kept hitting Bob against the crawl space's wall

"We need more horsepower!" Linda calls out

"Does this mean we can get a horse?" Tina asks

"No, Tina" Linda says

"Oh..." Tina sighs "So we aren't even considering or..."

"Who's pulling my arm anyway?" Bob asks "Because you aren't doing a very good job"

'I am, Bobby!" Linda says

"Well, don't you think you should maybe put Gene in the front? He _is_ the tallest out of all of us, so I guess that sort of makes him the strongest by default" Bob suggests

"I guess that makes sense..." Linda says "Fine, Gene, get in front of me and pull your father's hand!"

"Sweet! I'm the ringleader! Just without whip, and the ring" Gene says, moving himself to the front of the line "Heave! Ho!" Gene yells, pulling harder. The others join in on his chanting as they vigorously pull at each other

Bob continues to have his body repeatedly hit against the wall like a rag doll, only more painfully now that Gene was leading. Though, it almost looked as if they were finally _getting_ somewhere

"Heave! Ho!" They exclaimed, as they pulled even harder than before, and crackling was beginning to be heard from the wall

"Hey! Guys! I think we're doing it!" Bob says joyfully and relieved. Though that's when the cracking gets louder, and more bits of drywall begins to fall, as if an earthquake was beginning "Erm... Guys?"

They kept pulling, unable to hear Bob over all the chanting and crackling "Guys? GUYS?!" Bob repeats anxiously, as more pieces begin falling, and he's now pressed against the wall

"I think he's coming out of there!" Louise says in between pants and strains "Pull harder!"

Everyone was now nearly off their feet, straining like they were in labor, and just then...

"AHHH!" Bob yells, and that's when he's _finally_ broken through the wall, falling on the floor of the restaurant, moaning in pain

"It's a boy!" Gene says, throwing his hands up. The 3 women of the Belcher household look at him, confused "What?" He asks

Bob tries to pull himself off the ground "Ugh... My back..."

Linda gasps "Bobby! You're ok!" She exclaims, running over to him and hugging him

"See, Dad? I knew that if you just believed you'd be out of there in no time" Tina says, hugging him also with a grin

"I think I broke my everything..." Bob groans

"At lease you're alive!" Louise says

As Bob finally comes back to his senses from that blow to the body, he lifts himself up, dusts himself off, and and sighs "Well, now that that's over, we can finally-" He stops and stares at the loose pieces of drywall scattered across the floor. Then he looks up at where he came out of, and sure enough, there was a hole

A _huge_ one

Chunks of the wall were still falling from it, and the wall was literally obliterated "Oh my gosh..." Bob says, mouth gaped wide open "The wall... It's destroyed!" He screams

"Ha! I knew we needed a hole in the wall to save Dad!" Gene says proudly "This should be a lesson to you all, to ALWAYS believe in my ideas!"

"GENE!" Bob yells, displeased with his little _"joke"_

"Well, look on the bright side, all's well that ends well" Tina says

"No, Tina. All's well that ends in a huge gaping hole in the restaurant's wall that I'll have to pay thousands, if not MILLIONS of dollars to fix!" Bob says, irritated

"Hm, I don't think that's how the saying goes, Dad" Tina states, leaving Bob to face palm and sigh

"Oh my gosh..." He says, holding out the word "gosh" "Ok, that's it. Everyone off to bed, NOW" Bob commands

"Yeah, kids. Let's just pretend this whole thing never happened" Linda says

"Then what would be the _hole_ point of doing this?" Gene asks, laughing at his own joke

"Gene, go to bed" Bob says, sighing

"Of course! Dreaming gives me a _hole_ new perspective on the world!" Gene jokes, going upstairs with his siblings

"GENE!" Bob sternly yells

* * *

Ah, the end of the first weekend, oh, how you'll be missed over the school week. It was early Sunday morning, and there was nothing but relaxation and peace on days like-

 _ **"DAAAAAAAD!"**_

Oh, come on! Do we even need to go over this again?

It was back to square one with the Louise and Bob. She was pestering him about Kopi-Land again by yelling, jumping, snapping, and just being plain annoying

"Dad! Dad! Wake up!" Louise says

"Ugh.. Louise? What the hell is it?" Bob asks, waking up "It's 7 in the morning, and I didn't get much sleep last night..."

"Don't you remember, Dad?" Louise asks

"Remember what?"

Louise face palms and lifts up a Kopi-Land brochure "You're supposed to take me to Kopi-Land today!"

"Oh god..." Bob groans "Louise, we have an outrageous hole in the wall and you s _till_ want to go to Kopi-Land? I'd imagine you'd be more mature and-"

That's when Louise pulls out her tape recorder and hits "Play", and it plays what happened just yesterday afternoon

 _"Yes, I'll take you to Kopi-Land tomorrow, I promise"_

 _"... You will?"_

 _"Yes, Louise. I promise we'll go tomorrow- Well, today, if we're getting into specifics. Can you just please get me out?"_

Bob sighs at his tragic defeat "Crap... You were recording that, weren't you?"

"I kept tape recorders playing in every room of the house so no matter what room you gave in to the agreement, I'd have it as evidence" Louise smirks

"Oh my gosh..." Bob groans, falling back onto his mattress

"Come on, let's go!" Louise says, pulling him out of bed and dragging him across the floor "I heard you get first dibs on the best rides if you go this early!"

About half an hour later, Louise was out of her pajamas and in her usual hoodie and plaid skirt "Are you ready yet, Dad?" Louise calls out from downstairs

"Unfortunately, yes.." Bob sighs, reluctantly coming downstairs

"You two have fun at your little Kuchi Amusement Land!" Linda says

"For the last time, it's called Kopi-Land!" Louise shrieks

"Can we just get out of here?" Bob asks, opening the restaurant door

"Definitely!" Louise says, racing out of the door and into the family's red station wagon

Bob enters the car also and begins to start it "Let's get this over with..." Bob groans

"Woo hoo! Kopi-Land!" Louise chants from the passenger's seat

Bob twists the ignition key and the engine starts, but when Bob hits the acceleration of the car, the engine begins to sputter loudly and the car stops itself

"What the..." Bob says under his breath. He hits the acceleration again, except harder, and the engine continues sputtering wildly, and before they can even get 3 ft from the house, it breaks down right there

"Hey! Why have we've stopped moving?!" Louise asks, as she hits the car's dashboard

"I think the car's broken..." Bob says "Wait for me in here, I'm gonna go check something"

"And you better not run off!" Louise orders

"I wish I could, but I can't" Bob sighs, and with that he leaves the car. He walks in front of it, pops open the hood, and that's when a ton of smoke expels from it, blowing itself onto Bob's face and clothes

"Oh god, that's why it wasn't working..." Bob says, examining inside the hood. He goes back to the car and enters the driver's seat

"So what's the news? Did some runaway bandit cut the cords to the car? Did a wolf eat at the motor? Did someone hide a grenade in there?!" Louise asks

"The engine's not working" Bob simply says, wiping off the specks of smoke on his shirt and face

"Which means...?" Louise asks, now at the edge of her seat

"Um... We _may_ not be able to go to Kopi-"

" _ **NOOOOOOOO!**_ " Louise yells, looking up and raising her hands for dramatic effect. And right after, she slumps her head onto the car's long dashboard and hits it on their repeatedly while groaning

"I'm really sorry, Louise. I know you want to go really badly but I can't really help it. For all we know this could be a sign we shouldn't go" Bob says, patting her back "And let's be honest, a trip there would've blown away all of our cash, cash we need to keep on living. As you grow up Louise, you're gonna need to learn how to make sacrifices, for you and your loved ones"

Louise had stopped banging her head, but had kept it lying there. She didn't say anything in response to Bob, all she did was... Think

She couldn't help but realizes what she had done. How wrong it was to make her dad do this for her. Louise had done some awful and terrible things in her life, things that could easily land her in prison, if not Alcatraz. What was it with Louise feeling new things nowadays? Possible devotion and now... Regret? What was happening to her?

Louise sighs and keeps her head rested on the dashboard as she silently spoke "... Dad...?"

"Um, yes, Louise?"

"I... Understand"

Bob was confused "You understand what?"

"I understand what I did was wrong, so wrong. I guess I was being a little greedy-"

"A _little_?" Bob asks, smirking

"Ok, ok, a lot! But, you're completely right. I shouldn't have put you at risk of dying because you weren't going to take me to Kopi-Land. We DO need money for more important things, and I'm only being immature if I can't accept and understand that. So I completely understand why I can't go to Kopi-Land and if anyone should be sorry, it should be me. So I guess all I'm trying to say is... I'm... Ssssss.." She says, holding out the "s"

"You're...?" Bob asks

Louise still had a bit of a hard time admitting she was wrong "I'm... Sorry..."

"That's just what I wanted to hear" Bob says, smiling warmly, and Louise slowly returns the smile

"So should we just go home now?" Louise asks, about to exit her seat

"Hey, I promised you I'd take you to an amusement park and I'm keeping it. Get out of the car" Bob instructs

Confused, Louise exits the car and so does her father "Now what?" She asks

"Come on, let's walk" Bob says, shoulder hugging her

On any normal occasion, Louise would've quickly pulled away from her father's loving grasp, but she just couldn't help but enjoy it

As they continued walking, Louise started to realize something "Wait... Are we going to Wonder Wharf?"

"Yup" Bob says

Only for the billionth time ever, but Louise was ecstatic. She was spending time with her Dad, and they were both going to enjoy it. Well, maybe not Louise, but knowing her Dad was happy made her feel somewhat happy also

As they approached the large, and slightly run down amusement park, Louise returned the shoulder hug her father gave her

"I love you" She smiles, but it quickly turns into a serious, stern expression "But don't you _DARE_ tell anyone I said that..."

Bob chuckles "Ok, Louise" He smiles

And with that, they went to Wonder Wharf together, as father and daughter

* * *

 **I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! :)**


	5. Party Planner

Disclaimer - The rights to Bob's Burgers and its characters belong to Loren Bouchard, Bento Box Entertainment, and any others associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction, this is all just for fun :)

 **So, to celebrate the season 7 premiere, here's chapter 5!** **These next two chapters are going to sort of be a Part I and II, just to let you know. And they'll also both be about Tina, my favorite BB character ^^ Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Bob to the Future - Chapter 5: Party Planner**

The last bell of the day rang and all of Wagstaff High School's students were stampeding out of their respective classrooms, excited for a new weekend. It always seemed to be so rowdy on Friday afternoons, and it took multiple staff members to calm the students, one of these being the infamous counselor, Mr. Frond

As teens raced passed the halls noisily, it was Frond's job to keep things in check, though this wasn't easy, as he was a very soft spoken teacher

"K-Kids! Could you please, erm... Calm down, maybe? If that isn't too much trouble..." Frond anxiously says in the most silent voice. No one seemed to be listening, let alone hearing Mr. Frond over all the excited commotion. Not to mention that they were barely watching where they were going, and Phillip had to be extremely careful not to accidentally trip over anyone in the process

"Students, I-I'd really appreciate it if you showed your skills in patience, as most students are trying to get to the same pl- AHH!" He exclaims, as he nearly falls through the herd of students. He quickly tries his best to flee before he drowns in a pool of hormones. He dashes to the end of hallway and clutches onto the wall for dear life, panting heavily

"I.. I think I'm safe now.." Frond pants in relief. Though he was quickly mistaken when he heard fast footsteps approaching. His pupils constricted at the sound and he fearfully ducks for cover "Pl-Please don't hurt me!" He screams

But it was only Tina Belcher. She wouldn't hurt a fly. Except, for some reason, she seemed to be holding... Envelopes? A lot of them, probably enough for the whole 12th grade. She was also panting just like Frond, giving the impression that she had previously been running

She stops in front of Mr. Frond and takes a quick break by panting and holding onto her knees. She was completely out of breath.

After panting for a while, she continues running across the halls. Usually, Frond was supposed to report running in the hallways, but he was much to pooped from the huge crowds to actually care

While Tina was running, she also seemed to be throwing out the same envelopes she had been carrying to some of her classmates. It was unknown to some of the students to what it was actually for. Was it school related? But with every one she passed out, she said the same thing after

"Hey, come to my birthday party next week, it'll be the cat's pajamas. Except there are no cats, or pajamas"

Apparently, those envelopes were invites to Tina's birthday, as she has just said. She had to get them all out before school ended, so she was going at the speed of a rabid cheetah, throwing her invites every which way, and repeating her signature line after

She threw each envelope like a discus during the Olympics, and it looked like she had perfect precision, as each letter landed in the correct student's hands

After about a whole minute of power throwing, she was finally done. Well, at least, she was _almost_ done

"Finally, I just have one more" Tina says, satisfied

Just then, Gene and Louise caught up with their sister

"Hey, T!" Louise greets

"Hi, Tina!" Gene says

"Hi, guys" Tina replies

"You must be really serious about this whole birthday thing, huh?" Louise asks "You were running through the halls so quickly, we could barely keep up with you!"

Tina nods her head "Yeah. It almost felt like exercise. I think I lost, like, 50 pounds just from that"

"I can already see the change!" Gene grins, giving her a big thumbs up

"Thanks, Gene" Tina says

"Now that you're done with your whole "invitation mission", can we go home now?" Louise asks

"I'm not done just yet, Louise. I still have one more invitation left, and it's for a specific person" Tina explains "Jimmy Jr"

Of course. Who else would Tina reserve a custom letter for?

"I wanted to make this really special, so I made sure to make his golden encrusted and covered in the rarest of jewels"

Louise and Gene gasp "Jewels? Gold? I could sell that for billions! Lemme see!" Louise begs

"Here it is" Tina says, as she shows them the last letter. Turns out, the whole "golden jewel encrusted" stuff was a total sham. It was just a plain envelope painted yellow with lazily glued on sequins surrounding it, with Jimmy Jr's name written in red crayon on the front

Louise astonished smile quickly turned into a disgusted scowl "What the hell? Are you serious?!"

"Yeah, isn't it beautiful?" Tina says, unaware of what Louise meant by her exclamation "Since I couldn't really afford real gold and jewels, I just painted it and used some leftover sequins from the Reflections craft store"

"Leftover? Why are they leftover?" Louise asks

 _\- Flashback -_

It was the afternoon, and Tina entered Reflections. In stead of touring around the store, she went straight to the register, where the co-owner Edith Cranwinkle had resided

"Excuse me, can I have your best sequins, please? It's for a very important occasion" Tina asks, placing her wallet on the counter

"Hmm..." Edith mumbles, looking at Tina for a while "Are you the kid of that Bob Belcher man?" She asks in her old, raspy voice

"Um, yes" Tina replies

Edith gives her an angry glare while she crosses her arm "Harold! Bring me the old, leftover, worn out sequins from the back!" She calls out

Soon, her husband arrived with a small baggie of at most 15 sequins. They were of very bland colors and looked extremely cheap overall

Edith snatches Tina's wallet from the counter and throws her the bag of sequins "Now get out of here" She scowls

"Oh, ok. Thank you for your service" Tina says, completely oblivious to how she was scammed

 _\- Flashback Ends -_

"I think they were just low on sequins that day" Tina guesses

"Well I think it looks great!" Gene states

"Thanks" Tina smiles

As the 3 siblings continue walking, they pass, you guessed it, Jimmy Jr

Tina gasps "Oh my gosh, it's Jimmy Jr. I need to give him his invite" She gulps, and slowly walks over to him

"You go, girl!" Gene cheers

"Don't faint!" Louise calls out before Tina leaves

 _Ok, Tina. Calm down. He's just a person. Wait, no he isn't, he's an angel. With flowing hair and a glorious speech impediment... And a fantastic butt_ Tina thought to herself, completely drifting off into a dreamland. She sighs, clutching on to her envelope with her eyes closed and a big dopey grin

"Um, Tina?"

Tina quickly snapped out of her thoughts and opened her eyes, only to see that she had nearly bumped into Jimmy Jr and was right in front of his cleft chin. She didn't even back away, she loved the lack of space from him

"Oh, hey Jimmy Jr" Tina said, staring up a Jimmy Jr, lovestruck

"Er... Hey, Tina..." Jimmy Jr says, backing away from her, as she was literally pressed against him "What do you want?"

"Well, my 18th birthday is coming up soon, therefore, I'll be a full grown adult. Hot, right?" Tina asks

Jimmy Jr raises an eyebrow "Uh..?"

"Anyways, since it's happening this week, I decided, 'Hey, why not invite Jimmy Jr?' and yeah. Here you go" Tina says, handing him the invitation

Jimmy Jr takes it, opens up the envelope, and reads the note she put inside "' _Dear, Jimmy Jr. You are cordially invited to Tina Belcher's 18 birthday party. I'm turning 18 (as previously mentioned) therefore I'll be a full grown adult. Hot, right? I probably asked you that before I handed you this card out of nervousness. Did I mention you were invited? I think I did. You coming to this party would be the exact equivalent to a ton of zombie horses crowning me their queen of their butt land. Sincerely, Tina. P.S. I didn't write this on anyone else's invitation, that makes you special P.P.S Did I mention I'm becoming a full grown adult? I think I did. I should really start proofreading my letters_ '" He stares at her blankly "Uh, thanks..." He says, avoiding eye contact

"Ok. I'll see you at the party" Tina says "Yes!" She adds, fist pumping. She turns around and notices Jimmy Jr is still by her "Oh. Was I supposed to do that after I left?"

"Um, yeah, Tina" Jimmy Jr replies

"Oh, ok then." Tina says, walking back to her siblings "Yes!" She repeats, with the same fist pump and blank expression

"How did it go?" Gene asks as they continue walking out of the building

"It went well, but I felt like I was gonna melt" Tina admits

"From the pressure?" Gene asks

"No. Because Jimmy Jr's hot. Y'know, like how things melt near hot things?" Tina explains

"Ugh. _Yes_ , Tina. We get it. When you restate what the joke means, it makes it less funnier, y'know?" Louise groans

"Oh" Tina says "Ok, let me start all over. I felt like I was gonna melt"

"Uh... From the pressure?" Gene repeats

"No. Because Jimmy Jr's hot" Tina repeats "Did I do it right?"

Louise sighs and rolls her eyes "Yes, Tina..." She says sarcastically

"Ok, good" Tina smiles

"$5 says he won't even come to the party" Louise whispers to Gene

"You're on!" Gene whispers back

About 15 minutes later, the Belcher siblings reach their restaurant and enter through the front door

"Hi, Mom and Dad" Tina says as she enters the restaurant with her brother and sister

"Hi, kids!" Linda greets with a wave "Can you kids guess what's going on next week Friday?" Linda asks excitedly

Bob says "Yeah, it's gonna be Tina's-"

"Bob! I wanted to say it!" Linda whisper shouts

"Oh..." Bob mumbles

"It's gonna be my teeny Tina's 18th birthday! Woo hoo!" Linda cheers "Or should I say my humongous Tina? I can't believe you're becoming a grown woman in a mere 7 days!"

"Yeah..." Tina sighs

"Tina, you don't look so happy. What's the matter?" Bob asks his daughter

"Well, I'm glad I'm gonna become an adult and all, but I'll miss being a kid" Tina admits sadly

"Oh, my Tina's gonna miss us!" Linda says, running over and hugging her "Even when you're 40, you'll still be my baby!" Linda smiles, hugging her tighter

"But Tina, you need to understand that we can't cradle you for the rest of your life. You're gonna have to grow up and move on sometime, you know" Bob remarks

"Your father's right, Tina, you're still gonna be my baby at 40 but you aren't gonna be living here at 40... Well, unless you _really_ want to-"

"Lin!" Bob sternly says

"I want this to be extra extra special for you since this is a vital moment in your life!" Linda grins "Just think, after next week, you'll be able to vote, buy a house, drink, own a gun-"

"Lin, I think that's as far as you can go" Bob says

"Either way, me and your father are going to make this birthday perfect for you! So if you could do anything for your 18th birthday, what would it be?" Linda asks, placing both of her hands on Tina's shoulders

That line sounded very familiar. When was the last time he had heard that? Only about... 5 years ago, when they were preparing for Tina's 13th birthday. And... What did she say she wanted?

Oh no

The last thing Bob needed was _that_ literal catastrophe all over again. He couldn't bare to think of that happening again, it was one of his biggest fears, he wasn't about to relive that crap he had to go through, working 2 jobs at once, losing a ton of money, having to shave off his mustache. Just the thought gave him chills

"Well, Tina? What's it gonna be?" Linda repeats

Tina thinks for a moment "Hmm... I want-"

"Wait!" Bob shrieks, putting her speech to a halt

"What? What is it?" Linda asks, turning to face her husband

"Tina can do whatever she wants for her birthday, _**IF**_ she agrees to not make all of us work our asses off at the restaurant like she did last time" Bob dictates

"Bobby! She did not make us work our asses off!" Linda says in defense

"Yes she did!" Bob argues

"Even if she did, Tina worked just as much to make it happen!" Linda fumes

"Ok, Dad. I promise" Tina agrees

Bob sighs in relief "Thank you so much, Tina... Listen, when you've decided what you want to do for your 18th birthday, let me know as soon as possible"

* * *

It was the next morning at the Belcher household. They were currently having breakfast, (dull cereal, as usual) but it looked like they were one Belcher short at the table

"Hey, where's Tina?" Louise asks, before stuffing a spoonful of cereal into her mouth

"Good question!" Gene replies with a full mouth, causing some specs of cereal and milk to splash onto his sister's face

"Ugh! Gene! Say it, don't spray it!" Louise scolds, wiping off the bits of food he had spat at her

"Now that you mention it, it isn't like Tina to wake up so late" Linda remarks, refilling her cereal with milk "Tina? Tina, sweetie? Are you awake?" She calls from downstairs

Just in the nick of time, Tina came running downstairs with a small smile on her face. Hm, that wasn't like her

"Oh, good morning, Tina" Bob says

"Good morning. Guys, I have an announcement" Tina says with her hands out

"You're getting accepted into a wizard school?" Gene asks excitedly

"Better. I've finally decided what I wanted to do for my birthday" Tina announces, with a grin

"Oh, well that's great Tina. Lay it on me" Bob says

"Ha, that sounds weird" Gene giggles

"It doesn't sound weird unless you make it sound weird, Gene..." Bob groans

"I remember what you said yesterday about not wanting me to make you guys work your butts off at the restaurant for my party, so I wanted to see if we could rent an entire dance club for the night" Tina requests

Everyone at the table was surprised and had their mouths gaped open, wide open

"Oh my gosh..." Bob sighs. He was astonished that Tina would want to do that, yet extremely frustrated that she misconstrued what he had said

"Well?" Tina asks, excited to hear an answer

"Erm... Tina, why do you even wanna have your party at a dance club? A possibly... Expensive dance club...?" Linda asks worriedly

"Because everyone's doing it, and I heard Tammy Larsen's doing it for her 18th birthday" Tina answers

"Ah, peer pressure" Gene sighs

"Tina, just because everyone's doing it, doesn't mean you should. You don't follow the herd like all the others" Bob says

"The herd? Like, a herd of... Horses?" Tina asks

"No- Well... Yes- Well, Tina, do you have to tie everything in with horses?! It isn't necessary" Bob asks, irritated

"Don't you mean, _neigh_ -cessary?" Gene jokes

"Gene" Bob groans "What I'm trying to say is, do you really wanna do this?"

Tina nods her head "Yes. Really"

"Because I don't think we can afford-"

Linda quickly taps Bob on the shoulder "Bob, can I speak to you? In _**private**_ " She asks through clenched teeth

"Huh? Oh, sure" Bob says, as the two walk off into the other room

"Was that a yes?" Tina asks her siblings

The two finally get settled into the other room, and Linda begins to talk

"Bob, what the hell are you doing out there?!"

"What? What are you talking about?" Bob questions

"I hope you're aware that this is Tina's EIGHTEENTH birthday, which is a much bigger milestone than 13" Linda explains

"... And?"

" _And_ you have to make sure this is perfect. You need to make sure Tina is completely satisfied with the turn out, Bob. 18th birthdays only come once a lifetime, you know!"

"Yeah, and so do 14th, 15th, 16th, and 17th, yet we don't spend our entire family fortune on them"

"Because those aren't as important. When you become 18, you become a new person. You have a new perspective, and you get to try all new things, have new motives. We can't just throw this one under the rug like that!"

Bob stops himself from replying. He was almost starting to understand what she was getting at

"... Well, you _do_ have a point" Bob admits

"See? What did I tell you?" Linda says

"But there's a catch" Bob explains

"Oh Lord..." Linda sighs

"If Tina wants a big, expensive dance club party, that's fine with me. But I'm not gonna be a cab driver for transvestites again. Since Tina, as you said, is becoming an adult, she's gonna have to pay for half of the party's cost by working overtime at the restaurant"

Linda thinks for a moment, and then shrugs "Ok then, Bobby. We have a deal"

"Great, let's tell the kids"

The two of them exit the room and go back to the dining room "Guys, we have an announcement to make"

Gene gasps "Are you having another baby?!"

"What? No" Bob replies "Tina, we've decided to let you have your party"

Tina gasps

" _ **But**_ if you want that party, you're gonna have to pay half the price for it" Bob explains

"But I don't have that kind of money" Tina admits

"And that's exactly why from tomorrow to next week, you'll be working overtime at the restaurant" Bob adds

Tina nods "Ok, then"

"See? Tina's already becoming an adult! Making all these mature commitments, she's growing up so fast!" Linda exclaims, hugging Tina

"Tina's working overtime? Sweet! Does this mean she'll have to work all of me and Gene's shifts?" Louise asks

"And do our chores?" Gene also asks

"What? No. She's just working longer hours" Bob explains "We start tomorrow, ok, Tina?"

"Ok" Tina replies

"Are you sure you wanna do this, T?" Louise asks "There's only so much of the restaurant's fumes one can take"

"Yeah, I'm sure. It can't be that bad. Besides, I like the restaurant" Tina says "How hard could it be?"

* * *

 _ **The Next Day**_

It was Sunday afternoon and each Belcher was doing their job. Bob was manning the grill, Linda was taking orders, Tina was cleaning the counter, Gene was out attracting customers, and Louise was, as usual, messing with the chalkboard

"Dad, are you sure "Sour Cream Come True" is a good name for today's burger" Louise asks

"For the last time, _yes_ , I'm 100% sure" Bob verifies

"Because I just think "Wet Sour Cream" is way, way, _way_ better!" Louise suggests

Bob groans "Oh my gosh... I am _not_ using that, Louise. It's disgusting"

"Don't you get it? "Wet Sour Cream"? Sort of like-"

"Yes, Louise. I get it" Bob sighs "I'm gonna go get some more meat from the freezer, take the grill for now and don't touch the board" And with that, he goes downstairs

Right after he entered the basement, Louise rummages around the counter for some leftover chalk "Come on... Come on... It's gotta be here somewhere.." Soon enough, she was able to snag some chalk from under a napkin dispenser. She smirks. Come on, this is Louise! Who'd make the silly mistake of trusting her to do something you told her specifically not to?

Meanwhile, Gene was happily handing out free samples outside in his usual burger suit. One would think he had grown out of the whole "dressing up like a burger" shtick. Let's be honest here, this is Gene

"Free samples! Get 'em while their hot! And free!" Gene yells out from outside the restaurant, trying to attract new customers. Though, it's hard attracting customers when you're yelling obnoxiously in a burger costume. That kind of does the exact opposite effect on them

Lucky for Gene, a man came strolling by on the same sidewalk in front of Bob's Burgers, and this quickly caught Gene's attention

"Hey! Hi there!" Gene exclaims, waving at the man and forcefully shaking his hand

The man gives him a confused glance "Erm... Hello..?"

"Are you hungry? Possibly for a burger?" Gene asks

"Well, I _was_ on my way to look for a restaurant. But I was thinking more of-"

"Then look no further! Bob's Burgers serves the best food ever!" Gene says, directing his free hand to the restaurant

"Are you sure? Because from the looks of it, a lot of people seem to be crowding around that pizza place across the street" The man says, pointing over to Jimmy Pesto's. Sure enough, tons of excited customers were surrounding the building

"Trust me, my fine gentleman! Here, have a free sample!" Gene offers "Though it probably has good intentions of the inside, I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty terrible and vile on the outside. Sort of like you!" He smiles, oblivious to how impolite that sounded

The man gives him a displeased, irritated glare, and simply enters the restaurant, ignoring Gene's "polite" offer

"So was that a yes to the sample? Because the offer still stands" Gene says to the man, despite him now being in the restaurant already

The new customer finds a free booth and sits in it, as he patiently waits to be served "Wow... This place sure looks... Erm... Different.." He mumbles to himself, looking around the restaurant. He grabs a menu that was placed at his table and reads it over "Hmm.. What's with these ridiculous names?" He asks as he reads the burger choices

While he read over his options, Tina walks over to his table to clean it "Oh, hello there" She greets "I'm here to clean off your table"

"Thank you, dear. But, aren't you supposed to do that before the customer arrives?" He asks "That's how most people do it"

"I'm not like most people, I like to go out of my comfort zone" Tina replies "Like sometimes, I like to crawl under the tables and pretend I'm a spy"

The customer is silent, he isn't sure how to respond to that "Uh..."

"And sometimes, I put a dish towel on top of my lap while I scratch my crotch, so no one really suspects a thing. It's a pretty effective tactic, I suggest you try it" Tina says, wiping down his table

His face was now full of pure disgust "Oh my gosh..." He clears his throat "You know what, I think my table's clean enough, you can go now..."

"Ok. If you wanna hear more, I'm just a few tables away" Tina offers, as she goes back to cleaning other tables

He shudders "Oh my goodness..."

Linda was holding her notepad, scribbling down orders as she paced around the restaurant

"Excuse me? Hello?" The man calls out to her

"Eh?" Linda says, alarmed. She turns around and sees the customer sitting in one of their booths "Oh, hi!" She greets, holding out her "hi", as usual

"Hello. I've been waiting here for, what, almost 10 minutes? Yet, no one has come to take my order yet" The man says

"Oh, my bad! I'll do it right now! What do you want?" Linda asks

He takes a second gander at the menu placed in front of him "May I have-"

"It's just with 3 teenage kids, life's pretty tough and all. I can raise 3 children, yet I can't seem to take an order right away! Ha! What a job!" Linda chuckles

The customer arches his eyebrow at her "Erm... Anyways, can I please have the-"

"And not only that, family life's tough too! Being the mom, I've the number one dependent source for as long as I can remember and almost 18 years later I'm still depended on constantly!" Linda laughs

The man groans "May I please just take my order?"

"Oh, of course! What'll it be?" Linda asks

"May I please just have the cheeseburger?" He asks "I don't wanna ask for too much. If you can't even take orders right, how can I trust you to make more than a burger..." He murmurs under his breath

"Ok, 1 cheeseburger. Will that be to go or for here?" Linda asks

"To go, please" The man replies

"Good choice! I've been working here for who knows how many years and I can tell you first hand that staying here wouldn't be my first choice either, ha! It's a bit homely, I'll admit, but sometimes I just wanna leave on a yacht forever! Speaking of the cheeseburger you just ordered, that may have not been your best choice. My friend Gretchen used to eat that crap on a regular basis, and boy, did it not do a thing to help those calves she has! Not to mention that _blah blah blah blah_ "

Of course, Linda's talking up the customers again. The man simply groans as he waits for her to finish her rambling. This is gonna take a while...

"Wet... Sour... Cream..." Louise quietly mumbles to herself as she writes it down on the chalkboard in big, bold letters "Perfect!"

"Ok guys, I have the me-" Bob begins to say as he comes upstairs, but is cut off

"Oh my gosh, are you the one in charge of this establishment?" The man asks

"Um... Yes" Bob replies. That one question never leads to anything good

"Well, can I just say, the service here is atrocious!" He complains "That boy out there selling free samples is insanely rude, first off"

"Gene..." Bob groans, glaring out the window

"That custodian girl is completely nauseating, and doesn't seem to mind giving off her personal and somewhat revolting information off to customers who are trying to EAT" He continues

"Wait, am I the custodian girl?" Tina asks

Bob sighs "Yes, you're the custodian girl, Tina..."

"Not to mention that your server, who I'm presuming is your wife, is so talkative! All she did was ramble on and on about who knows what and wouldn't even take my order! Her mouth is bigger than her ego!"

"Heeeeey! I'll have you know my ego's just as big as my brain, thank you very much!" Linda says

"Oh, then I guess your ego isn't big at all!" The man hisses "And does that chalkboard say... "Wet Sour Cream Burger"?! I though this was supposed to be a family friendly restaurant!"

Bob turns around and sees what's written on the board "Louise?! Are you serious?!"

"You'll thank me later, trust me" Louise smirks

"I think I've lost my appetite, I'm leaving" The ex-customer snaps, leaving the restaurant "Thank you for nothing!" He shuts the door loudly and storms off

"Oh my gosh..." Bob sighs

Just then, Gene walks back into the restaurant "Hey, guys! Did you happen to see that guy leave? He looked so mad, I wonder why!"

Bob face palms and sighs for a long time "Are you serious? I can't leave the restaurant for 5 minutes without it turning into a complete freak show?"

"Of course, Dad. You're the glue that holds this place together" Tina states "Me, Gene, and Mom are the torn paper, and Louise is the scissors, since she usually ruins everything"

"Hm. That's... Actually pretty accurate" Bob says. He looks over at the clock "Well, looks like you kids' shifts are over. Here you go" He says, handing Gene and Louise a few dollars for their monthly pay

"Are you serious, Dad? This isn't enough money!" Louise whines

"Yes, it is. It's plenty of money" Bob says

"$10? We usually get paid way more than that!" Gene gripes

"That's true, but I felt like docking you two's pay for a while. I'm not wasting all my money on you two since you both always end up spending it all before the week ends on pointless crap"

"20 pounds worth of jawbreakers is NOT pointless crap!" Gene says defensively

"Would you two just get out of here?" Bob asks, as the two reluctantly leave the restaurant with their pay

Tina turns to leave also, but Bob swiftly grabs her by the shoulder "Tina, where do you think you're going? You're working overtime, remember?"

"Oh yeah" Tina replies, now remembering "Well, what do I do first?"

Bob rummages through his apron pocket and pulls out a list "Here's a list of some things I'll need you to do around the restaurant for the rest of the day"

Tina glances at the first item on the list and reads it off " _'Scrape all the grease off the grill in the kitchen'_ " She reads "Ok" Tina makes her way to the kitchen and starts cleaning off the grill right away, except she uses her bare hands

"Tina, don't use your hands to clean kitchen grease" Bob instructs "Use something else"

"Oh, ok" Tina says. She reaches over across the counter and pulls a spatula. She then scrapes it across the grill, which makes an ear-bleeding noise that equates to dragging your fingertips across a chalkboard and scratching a fork's tines against a plat

Bob cringes at the noise "Ugh... Just stick to your fingers..." He groans

Linda then walks over to the counter and rests her elbows on it "So, Tina! What do you want for your birthday from me and your dad?"

And without any hesitation, Tina replies with "A horse"

"A... Horse?" Linda asks

"Yeah, a horse. I'd ask for a zombie horse but I think those may be low on stock, seeing as everyone probably wants one" Tina explains

"Tina, you're 17, pushing 18, and you still want a horse?" Bob questions "How about you choose your last birthday gift from us wisely? Like maybe money or something"

"But you're already giving me money by letting me work overtime. It's be unnecessary" Tina states "Besides, you guys don't seem to mind Louise's current obsession with Kuchi Kopi at the ripe age of 14"

"Well that's because Louise is irrational and hard to deal with. Bottom line is, you aren't getting a horse. The whole dance club party is enough" Bob says

Tina sighs "Well I guess a dance club party is _kind of_ like a horse" She then continues scratching off the grill and after she finishes, she reads off the next duty on the list " _'Arrange the cutlery under the restaurant's counter'_ " She reads off. Tina makes her way out of the kitchen and behind the counter where Bob's standing

"Tina, I'd appreciate it if you washed your hands before touching our kitchen's cutlery" Bob instructs

"Don't worry, Dad. No one will really notice the difference" Tina replies

"Completely ignoring how rude that sounded... You have a point" Bob admits, and Tina gets to arranging

"So, Tina. Who are you inviting to your party?" Linda asks

"The entire 12th grade" Tina simply replies

"WHAT?! The entire 12th grade?!" Bob screams

"Yes, I just said that" Tina remarks

"Tina, you can't just invite the entire 12th grade without me our your mom having any prior knowledge of it!" Bob scolds "So not only are we renting a dance club, but we'll need to purchase one that's sure to accompany a ton of 12th graders?"

"Well, I didn't wanna leave anyone out. That would be rude" Tina says

Bob groans "Tina..."

"And besides, that means Jimmy Jr's coming" Tina replies, holding her hands to her chest as she smiles "At my party, we're going to finally kiss again after eons and at last seal our unbreakable infatuation for each other forever and officially become boyfriend and girlfriend" She then sighs dreamily, as she gazes to the ceilings

Bob cringes and shudders "Oh my gosh... Tina, you still like Pesto's kid? My haven't you moved on by now?"

"That proves that we're destined for each other!" Tina claims, but her father doesn't seem so convinced "Hey, Mom?"

"Yeah, Tina?" Linda replies

"Can my party be horsed theme?" Tina asks

"Well, I guess-" Linda begins, but is interrupted

"Wait, scratch that. Can it be _zombie_ horse themed?" Tina adds

Bob sighs at Tina's immature interests

Linda grins "Well, of course you can, sweetie! You can have anything you want for your birthday-"

"As long as you can pay for it" Bob says

"Oh ok. Then can I have a DJ?" Tina requests

"Oh god..." Bob sighs

"Did someone say they needed a DJ?" Gene asks, as he pokes his head through the bottom of the staircase as he walks down "Because I'm the guy you need then!"

"Hey! That'd be a good idea! Tina, you should have your brother DJ at your party!" Linda suggests

"Yeah, T! I have a wide variety of songs other DJs wouldn't dream of having!" Gene guarantees

"Gene has a point, Tina. I guess he's almost as good as an actual DJ" Bob explains "Besides, he doesn't charge anything"

"Hm, Ok" Tina agrees

"Woo hoo!" Gene exclaims, lifting his hands up

"Did someone say they needed a serial killer at their party?" Louise asks, poking her head through the end of the staircase, just like Gene "Because I know a guy"

"No, Louise. No one said that" Bob says "I feel like that was just an excuse to come back downstairs"

"Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't" Louise mumbles, walking down the staircase

"So, Tina! Aren't you excited for your party? You're gonna get showered with so many gifts from all your friends!" Linda says

"Thanks, Mom. But no gift I get will even compare to the gift of having Jimmy Jr at my party" Tina says flatly "Once me and his lips collide, they'll become one, just like at her 13th birthday party"

Just that one sentence gave every member of her family a different reaction

"Aw! That's adorable!" Linda grins, holding her hands together

"Oh God..." Bob says, disgusted

"Oh wow..." Louise says under her breath, creeped out

"Hmm.. Intriguing! Go on!" Gene says, scratching his chin in an intelligent manner

"What? No, don't you dare go on, Tina" Bob commands

Tina then rushes over to the restaurant's large windows and stares, only to see Jimmy Jr across the street watering his pizzeria's ferns with a garden hose. She sighs, creating a small fog spot on the window. Jimmy Jr turns around and notices Tina. Obviously creeped out, he slowly and awkwardly walks back into his house, leaving his hose running on the sidewalk

Tina sighs once more and smiles "This party if going to be perfect"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading! I tried to keep this chapter shorter than the last one ^^;**


	6. My Super Sweet 18

Disclaimer - The rights to Bob's Burgers and its characters belong to Loren Bouchard, Bento Box Entertainment, and any others associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction, this is all just for fun :)

 **Here's the sort-of-kind-of-not-really Part II! Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Bob to the Future - Chapter 6: My Super Sweet 18**

It was Friday evening, and the day of Tina Belcher's 18th birthday. The day that gave Tina a whole new perspective on the world, she was finally becoming... _An adult_

Currently, the Belchers were outside of the restaurant, beginning to enter their now-fixed station wagon, though they weren't in yet, as they were waiting for Bob and Tina to finish counting their payment for the party

It wasn't an easy job working overtime, even if it _was_ just for a week. From Monday to Friday afternoon, she had to start working immediately after school all the way till their bedtime. But she _did_ afford to make good cash off it

"$196, $197, $198, $199, and $200" Bob says as he counts Tina's earnings "And added to my $200 that makes $400. Congrats, Tina, you made the adequate amount"

Tina gasps "Really?"

"Yup. Good job, Tina, I'm proud of you" Bob says with a pat on her back "I don't know many kids your age-"

" _ **Adults**_ my age" Tina corrects him

"Erm... Adults you age that would be willing to do this" Bob continues

"Thanks, Dad" Tina replies with a small smile

"So, are you excited, T?" Gene asks his sister

"Excited? I'm ecstatic!" Tina replies, though since this was Tina, she didn't seem to visually or verbally show it "This is going to be the best party ever"

For the occasion, Tina decided to wear one of her favorite dresses (What? It's her birthday! It's not like she was going to be wearing her everyday duds). It was a blue party dress with spaghetti straps that was tied with cerulean ribbon. She was clad in small silver earrings and white flats

"I hope you have fun, Tina" Bob says, as he turns to look at her. Though when he catches a good glimpse of her, he notices that she has what almost looks like... Makeup on her face. Except it looked very neat and organized

"Wow, Tina..." Bob blurts "That makeup looks gorgeous on you"

"Thanks, I wanted to wear it since I'm becoming a woman" Tina smiles

"Well it looks fantastic. Did you apply it yourself?" Bob asks

"No, Mom did it for me" Tina replies, pointing to Linda

"Yup!" Linda smiles "Her first attempt didn't look very good..." She whispers to Bob

 _ **Flashback**_

Tina is facing the mirror, applying mascara to her eyes. Her glasses are places next to the sink as she's intently staring at the mirror "Hmm.. Maybe I need a bit more mascara"

"Oh, Tina! Are you in there?" Linda call out as she approaches the open rest room door

"Yeah, I'm doing my makeup for the party" Tina explains, as she puts on more mascara

"Well that's nice! Lemme see it!" Linda says from outside the restroom

"Ok" Tina says, as she turns around

"I'm sure whatever you did looks beautif-AHHHH!" Linda shrieks when she sees Tina

Apparently, she had mascara plastered all over her eyelids, eyebrows, forehead, and basically everywhere but her eyelashes. She had way too much blush surrounding her cheeks and electric blue eye shadow under her eyes and scribbled all over her face. Last, she has bright red lipstick smeared on and around her lips "So does it look nice?" Tina asks

Linda slightly cringes and then gulps "It looks... Decent, but how about we go for a look that doesn't make you look like the spawn of Satan" Linda suggests with a nervous grin

 _ **Flashback Ends**_

"But she looks fantastic now!" Linda adds

"This makeup is kind of itchy" Tina says, scratching her face, which removes some of it

"No, no, Tina! Don't touch the makeup or it'll-" Linda warns, but before she could even finish her sentence, Tina had accidentally removed it all off "... Smudge off.." Linda continues

"Oops" Tina responds

"That's the last time we buy Tina makeup..." Bob sighs

"Tina doesn't even need makeup, she looks gorgeous the way she is!" Gene compliments

"Thanks Gene" Tina replies "I've got the party, the looks, and now all I need is the boy" She sighs dreamily and closes her eyes as she drifts off into her "dreamland"

* * *

Her dream seems to take place at the dance club. While all of her classmates seem to be having a good time, Tina is merely standing in the middle of the dance floor, sighing sadly "If only someone would dance with me" She sighs

That's when the lights go out, and a spot light is created, right on Tina except (somehow) Jimmy Jr appears in front of her

"Hello, my love" Jimmy Jr says with a seductive grin

"Hi, Jimmy Jr" Tina smiles "Care to dance?"

"It'll be my pleasure" Jimmy Jr replies, tearing off his shirt

"Oh wow" Tina gasps

The two start slow dancing for a while, until not too long after, Jimmy Jr pulls her in for a long, passionate kiss, and Tina happily returns the favor

That's when a ton of zombified horses start prancing around them as fireworks shoot into the air and loving, wedding music begins playing

After the kiss, a group of shirtless college frat boys make their way towards Jimmy Jr and Tina

"Hey, Tina. Do you wanna come over to the fraternity with us? No shirts allowed" One says, grinning

"Of course" Tina smiles, as she walks off with them happily

"Tina?" Bob asks "Tina?"

Tina had her head up with her eyes closed with a huge smile on her face, as she was still day dreaming

"Is she dead?" Gene asks

"Gene, you can't die standing up" Bob explains

"If you're shot you can!" Gene says

"Well, yeah. But that's the only other way" Bob replies

"If you're shot with an arrow you can" Louise adds

"Ok, shot and stabbed with an arrow. But besides that-"

"If you're poisoned standing up!" Gene says

"Ok! Ok! I get it!" Bob yells, which finally wakes Tina up

"Huh? Wha-?" Tina exclaims as she comes back to consciousness "Where's Jimmy Jr? Where's the fraternity?"

Her family members stare at her, perplexed

"O... K... Well, since I'm grounded, I technically shouldn't be allowed to leave the house, therefore, I'll excuse myself from Tina's party" Louis says as she crept towards the restaurant's door

"Oh no, you don't. You're temporarily un-grounded for the night. We're _all_ gonna have to suffer through this, and no man's being left behind" Bob demands, pulling Louise away from the door by her hoodie

"Dammit, are you serious?!" Louise pleads

Bob makes his way to the car's trunk and props it open as he begins stuffing a few plastic bags in "Hey, I don't wanna go to this party just as much as you do, but we're a family, and we aren't letting Tina spend her 18th birthday alone"

Louise and Gene follow him over to the boot of the car "Hey, what's that you're throwing in there?"

"Tina's party supplies. She wanted a "zombie horse" themed party or something like that..." Bob shrugs "And... Don't tell her, but one of the boxes in here carries Tina's birthday present!" He whisper shouts "I'm not telling what it is just yet since I can't trust you two to not spoil the surprise, but I'm sure Tina'll love it"

"Dad, if it's small enough to fit in a car trunk, it probably isn't that impressive" Louise says

"Whatever, it's not like you guys got her anything better" Bob replies "Speaking of which, you two _did_ get Tina a birthday present, right?"

Gene and Louise are silent. They both look at each other anxiously and begin getting nervous "Er..." They both murmur

"Well? You _did_ , right? Because I specifically asked you both to get Tina a gift before tonight" Bob asks

They look at each other again, expecting one of them to conveniently have a gift with them, but they had no such luck. But at the same time, they couldn't let Bob know they flaked out on him and Tina

"Eh.. Y-Yup! We have her gift!" Louise stutters, nodding quickly

"Definitely!" Gene adds, just as nervous

Bob looks at them suspiciously "Hm... Ok then... What did you get her?"

They froze, unsure of what to say

"Uh... Well why do you wanna know? Huh? Trying to mooch off of our present or something because you know yours sucks!" Louise asks, placing her hands on her shoulder

"I doubt you even got her a present!" Gene says

"What? No, I'm just asking" Bob states

"Not to mention that we don't trust you not to tell Tina!" Louise says, restating the claim Bob had made about them

Bob rolls his eyes "Ok then. Just give it to me so I can put it in the trunk with all the other things"

"W-Well... We don't trust you with her gift!" Louise remarks "What if you look at it and tell her? Plus, we don't need you getting your grubby hands all over our present"

"Oh my gosh... Just go in the car" Bob orders, shutting the trunk

"Gladly! And we'll be going in with our present, that we definitely bought and have with us currently!" Gene claims, as he and Louise enter the back seat of the car

Tina makes her way to the back seat also, but Linda stops her

"You don't have to sit back there, sweetie! You're an adult now, take the passenger's seat, I'll sit with Gene and Louise" Linda offers

"Oh, ok" Tina says, as she approaches the passenger's seat and sits in it "Oh wow, I feel so... Old. I can't believe I'm in the passenger's seat"

Bob enters the driver's seat and straps on his seat belt. He turns the ignition key, hits the acceleration, and they begin their journey to the dance club

Tina takes out her diary and begins writing in it _'Dear Diary-'_

"Wait, do you just carry that around?" Bob asks, looking over at Tina

Tina nods "Mmhmm. In case I need to express my feelings on the go"

"Uh... Ok then..." Bob awkwardly mumbles, as he continues driving

"Now where was I? Oh right"

 _"Dear Diary, today's my 18th birthday, can you believe it? It feels like just yesterday I was sitting in front of the couch watching 'The Equestranauts' with my pony figures. Wait, that was yesterday. Speaking of which, I really liked yesterday's episode, Chariot and Twinkle Shine did a damn good job at stopping the evil warlord from removing all the happiness from the Sunshine Kingdom. Though, I felt Bubble Heart didn't even try in this episode, despite being a necessary plot element to the story. But aside from that, I'm super excited. Me and my family are currently heading to the local dance club for my last birthday party. Jimmy Jr's supposed to be there and tonight, we dance. Oh, and we also plan on kissing. At least, I plan on it, I don't know what Jimmy Jr has on his schedule currently. Other than that, I cannot believe I'm becoming an actual adult. Which means it shouldn't be too long before I have to go to college, move away, live by myself, grow up..."_

Tina stops writing and thinks about that last line "... Grow up..." She quietly says to herself. Tina still had a very hard time grasping on the fact that she wasn't a kid anymore and she had to grow up and leave all that stuff behind. She sighs and looks down

"Tina, is there a problem?" Linda asks from the back seat

"Oh, nothing. I'm fine..." Tina sighs

"Ok, dear. If anything's bugging you, just let me or your father know" Linda reassures her

Speaking of the back seat, Gene and Louise seemed to be fidgeting a lot, as they were very nervous

"Hey, are you two ok too? All my kids are actin' weird right now" Linda says

"Oh, we're just find, Mom! Could you do us a favor and maybe ignore everything we're saying for a while?" Louise asks

"Er... Ok..." Linda says in an unsure tone

"Thanks" Louise says, smiling, but she quickly becomes serious as she turns to Gene "So, we didn't get Tina a birthday gift, did we?"

"I guess not. How could you forget?" Gene asks

"How could _I_ forget? How could you forget?" Louise shoots back

"Either way, we need to get her a present before she opens them. Do you know how sad Tina'll be when she finds out we didn't get her a present?" Gene says

"More importantly, do you know how mad Dad'll be at us for lying _and_ disobeying him?" Louise frets "I'm already grounded, I don't need him killing me!"

"Ok, Ok, don't panic. Maybe we'll think of something at the party!" Gene says

"We'll already be at the party, what will we even get her? A balloon?" Louise asks

"Hey! That's an idea!" Gene says, though Louise rolls her eyes at him for taking what she said too seriously

The ride goes on for a while and it's mostly quiet in the car, as there's nothing to really talk about

Linda is barely awake and Bob notices this from the rear view mirror inside the car "Dammit... Gene, Louise, wake your mother up"

"Ok!" Gene says "MOM! WAKE UP! THE CAR'S FALLING DOWN A GORGE!" Gene yells while shaking his mother awake

"Huh? Wha? What happened?!" Linda shrieks, waking up

"Oh, would you look at that. We escaped!" Gene beams, patting his mom's shoulder

"Oh, then I'll just go back to sleep.." Linda yawns

"Lin, you've gotta stay awake. It's 6:30, we're all gonna have to spend about 30 minutes setting the party up before the guests arrive, and the party lasts for about 4 hours" Bob explains

"So we aren't leaving until around 11:00? But, Bobby! I'm tired..." She sighs

Bob looks over at his cup holder, which was holding a half-drunk can of Red Bull. He hands it over to her from behind the seat "Here, I was gonna save it for Tina's party, but I guess you need it more than I do"

Linda takes the drink and grins "Aw! Thank you, Bobby!" She says in a tired voice, and she proceeds to gulp it down

"Hey, Dad. Can I ask you a question?" Tina asks

"Yes, Tina. Anything" Bob replies "Well, not anything, but-"

"Since I'm going to be kissing Jimmy Jr today, I need help" Tina says

Bob groans "What do you mean you need help?"

"Well, it's been almost 5 years since my last kiss with him, so I forget, when you kiss, do you let your lips or tongues touch first?" Tina asks

Bob winces "Ugh, Tina. Please don't talk to me about that stuff..."

"Wait, wait, I'm almost done!" Tina says, putting her hands in front of her "And when your lips and/or mouths touch, do you rotate your head right or left, and depending on which way, how many degrees? And do I twist my tongue along with previously mentioned movement, or-"

"Tina! Please! I'm not the one to ask about this!" Bob says, covering one of his ears and driving with the other free one

"So is that a 'yes' to twisting tongues? Because I can't be too sure, what with Jimmy Jr's lisp and all. Though sometimes, I feel like that makes him a better kisser-"

"Hey, would you look at that? We're here!" Bob blurts so Tina would be quiet

Bob parks their station wagon in the rather large parking lot in front of the club building, and once they're coordinated, they all exit the car

"Ok, here's how things will work" Bob begins "Since we need to set up the place before the party, we'll all be coming in and out of the building to get Tina's supplies from the trunk, sound good?"

"Ok" The rest of the Belchers respond

"Ok then, let's get started" Bob says, popping open the boot "Everyone can take 1 or 2 items, depending on how heavy said items are. Gene, I expect you to help out your sisters and Mom by taking the liberty of carrying more stuff than them"

"I may be taller, but Mom still has stronger calves!" Gene says

"He's not wrong, Bobby" Linda adds

"Can you please just listen to what I said without arguing, Gene? You're 16, not 6..." Bob sighs

"Pfft, fine.." Gene says, defeated

One by one, each Belcher goes to the trunk to take their share of items and they all make their way towards the dance club

"Ugh! Dad! Why did we have to park so far away?" Louise asks "The whole parking lot was empty, you know?"

"Because everyone knows when someone's stealing cars, they go for the closest ones first" Bob explains

"But none of my friends steal cars. At least I don't think they do, I never really asked" Tina says

"You can never be too sure with teenagers" Bob says

It wasn't _too_ long till they reached the building's doors. Bob was able to use his free hand to open it for his family, and when they all entered, they were amazed

They hadn't even placed all the supplies yet but the club itself looked amazing. It was very large first off, and about half of the placed was covered in a large dance floor, lit by multicolored LED lights. There were circular lights strung from the ceiling and a large disco ball spinning from the middle. Some tables were already set up. Long columns were are the side of the room, away from the dance floor. Overall, it seemed like a literal rainbow inside of there

"Oh wow, this place looks pretty!" Linda says, admiring the decor

"And colorful!" Gene exclaims

"I think I'm having a seizure..." Bob mumbles, holding onto his head

"It looks just perfect, I love it" Tina smiles

That's when a man resembling a custodian entered the room. He looked to be in his mid-30's, as he had short brown hair and a mustache

"Hey, are you guys the family rentin' this place for a party?" The custodian asks in a New York accent

"Yes, we are! Hi there, I'm Linda!" Linda greets, shaking the man's hand "That's my husband, Bob" She says, pointing over to Bob, who simply waves at the janitor

"These are my youngest kids, Gene and Louise" Linda continues, pointing over to the both of them "And last, but definitely not least, here's the birthday girl, Tina!"

"Hello there, sir" Tina says, waving

"Hi there" The janitor replies, waving "Well, it looks as if you guys have everythin' under control here" He then chucks Bob the building's keys "Here ya go, these keys are for closing up"

"Wait, so you're just gonna give them to me like that?" Bob asks

"Well, of course. Your party's going on till closing hours so you might as well. I don't wanna get in you guys' hair either. I'll just let myself out" He says, walking out "Hope you folks have a great time!" And with that, he left

Bob glances at the keys "So he's just gonna trust me like that? What if I run off with them or something?"

"Well, _will_ you run off with them?" Linda asks

"... Well, no. But-"

"Exactly! Now stop being such a wet blanket and help up set up this place! Chop, chop!" Linda instructs

 ** _25 Minutes Later..._**

It wasn't easy, but within about 25 minutes or so, the Belchers were able to collect all the things needed for the party and arrange them in the correct place. The previous bare, vacant dance club that only had a large dance floor, columns, a few small tables, and lights, now had a long table set at the side filled with appetizers, snacks, and plates to hold said snacks, another somewhat smaller table beside it, which held a large milk chocolate fountain and foundue sticks with strawberries stabbed through them, some more colorful LED lights that were specifically ordered to be Tina's favorite colors (blue, pink, and yellow, in no order), an unbelievable amount of balloons strung to a large table (which was where gifts where being set), another table not too far from it held a birthday cake shielded by a glass dome, another long table, that was opposite from the table holding appetizers, for Gene (who was the disc jockey for the party) to sit at and play his keyboard, two large stereos surrounding said table, which was playing instrumental pop music, all the excess tables (which now had small party favors in the center of it) were for guests to sit at and relax and/or eat, and last, there was a large blue banner overlooking the entire party reading "HAPPY 18th BURTHDAY TINA!" In large bold letter, and yes, "Birthday" was misspelled, and it didn't take anyone too long for anyone notice this

"Dad, 'birthday''s misspelled!" Tina says, slightly irritated

"Hey, don't go blaming me, Tina. Gene was the one in charge of the banner" Bob replies "Gene, how are you 16 and can't spell 'birthday'?!"

"Well, I wasn't 100% sure if I should use an 'i' or a 'u', so I just sounded the word out, and 'u' was the only logical explanation" Gene answers with a shrug

"Oh my gosh..." Bob sighs "Well, the guests are teenagers, they're probably too brain dead to even notice the spelling mistake"

Louise let her eyes wander "Is there anything in this place that isn't completely lame?" She looks over to her left and something catches her eye, something, for lack of a better term, _sweet_

"Woah! Is that a chocolate fountain?!" Louise asks, captivated by it

"Uh, yeah" Bob says "But don't touch i-"

Too late, Louise was already at the table, and so was her brother. They both just stared at it, completely infatuated by the silky, melted chocolate streaming down those tiers

"It looks so... Beautiful!" Gene says, admiring it

"I'm gonna lick it!" Louise exclaims, as she and Gene both stick their tongues out at it, trying to collect some chocolate, though they're quickly put to a halt by their father pulling them away

"Hey!" Bob hisses "First of all, don't just stick your tongue through it like that, other people are gonna be using it, use one of these" He pulls a fondue stick with a strawberry in it

"Thanks!" Gene says, taking it from him, but Bob quickly slaps it out of his grasp

"You didn't let me get to my second point" Bob sternly says "Second, no one's having any chocolate until all the guests arrive, **_all_** the guests" And with that, Bob goes back to where Linda and Tina were standing

"All of the guests? I can't wait that long!" Gene whines

"Don't worry, Gene. We found a way to get chocolate from a fountain 5 years ago, and we're gonna do it again tonight" Louise reassures him, determined

"Hey, what time is it? Shouldn't the guests be arriving?" Linda asks, looking for a clock

Bob checks his watch "It's about 7:05, they should be coming any moment from now"

Tina switches her glance to the large entrance of the dance club, and sure enough, some of her guests begin piling out of the door, all amongst themselves in their own conversations

Tina gasps "Oh my goodness, they're here!" She excitedly says

Bob and Linda glace over and spot all of the high schoolers entering the building

"Oh god" Bob mutters

"Alriiiight! Would you look at that?" Linda chants. She swiftly makes her way towards the many teens emerging from the door, trying to gather them all up in one place "Alright, alright, kids. Let's all gather up in one place so no one gets misplaced, chop chop!" She instructs, trying to calm the crowd

Once everyone was situated in the center of the room, Linda moved backwards to get a clear view

"Now that's better!" Linda says with her hands on her hips, her voice echoing throughout the silent room "Can I just say, thank you so much for coming to Tina's 18th birthday party! She's very excited and she worked very hard to make this happen!"

"Yup" Bob adds "She worked long hard hours at our family restaurant to-"

"Heh. Long hard" A student says from the crowd of teens

"Hey, who said that?" Bob asks furiously "It isn't weird unless you make it weird, my god..."

"Anywho, Tina would like to have a word with all of you if that isn't too much trouble" Linda says, moving herself so Tina can take her spot "Tina, take the floor!"

Tina was holding onto a mic stand which held a mic. Due to the mic's short wire, she couldn't move herself very far from the outlet she had it plugged into

"Testing, testing, 1, 2, 3" Tina murmurs, tapping the mic

"Tina, you don't have to do that. You know the mic's plugged in" Bob comments

"I know. I just really wanted to do that" Tina says, coordinating her mic "Welcome to my-" Tina stops herself, as she creates extremely loud feedback with the mic, causing everyone to cover their ears in irritation

"Oh, my bad" She apologizes "Welcome to my 18th birthday party. Thank you so much for coming, as this is the day I become an adult" Tina then pulls out several flashcards and starts flipping through them "Hmm... I prepared a speech... Oh, ok. Thank you so much for coming- Wait, I think I already said that" She skims a bit more as she talks "Hmm.. It's nice to know that all of you came here to support me during this difficult time, my worst enemy is currently my own estrogen, hearty adult laugh. Oh wait, I don't think I was supposed to read that part off"

While Linda cringes at Tina's _prepared_ speech, Bob sighs, covering his face

"I hope you all enjoy yourself at my party, for it will be the last one I have. I wanted to invite every single one of you so you'd know even though I'm becoming an adult, I'll still always- Oh, wait, you're already gone..." Tina says, as she sees her classmates have already made themselves comfortable and started the party. She sighs, dropping her flash cards

"Oh, would you look at that, Dad! All the guests are here!" Louise laughs

"So I guess we'll just excuse ourselves over to that fountain, if you don't mind!" Gene smiles, as he and Louise try to make their way over

"Not so fast, you two. I still need to look at the guest list and check everyone off" Bob says, showing them his clipboard of names

"What?! Are you serious?!" Louise exclaims "It's the entire 12th grade!"

"Yeah! Besides, how will you even know who's who?" Gene asks

"Because Tina gave me a guide with a photo of every classmates' photos next to their respective names" Bob says "Though, I don't know how she managed to get all these pictures..."

"Dad, it's Tina. I'm surprised she didn't have DNA samples of them along with the photos" Louise says

"Good point" Bob replies, flipping through the clipboard "How many kids are in her class?! I still can't believe she invited almost 100 people without my permission"

"Ha! You just counted 100 people! Can we go drink that chocolate now?" Gene asks eagerly

"Gene, aren't you supposed to be DJ-ing the party? You looked so excited to at first" Bob asks

"Well, I was but now I found a fricking fountain that shoots chocolate, Dad! It's a no-brainer which one you should prefer" Gene explains

"Gene, go to that table and play that stupid keyboard" Bob instructs, pointing to that table "Your older sister trusted you to be her disc jockey, so you better not screw this up for her"

Gene sighs defeated and pulls out his Casio "Fine... But you owe me a million dollars!"

Bob sighs "I don't owe you a million dollars, Gene..."

"Hey, where _**is**_ Tina anyways?" Louise asks

Tina, apparently, was standing amongst her class, just staring at them. She wasn't dancing with them or eating, she didn't even look like she was really having fun. Though as her eyes wandered around the large crowd of kids, she finally spotted what she really came here for and smiles "Jimmy Jr" She says under her breath. Unlike most people who were decked out in party attire, he was just wearing his usual sleeveless hoodie and torn jeans, but that didn't bother Tina in the slightest. She slowly approached him like a zombie with big eyes and an equally big smile, but she was interrupted by someone pulling her over to them

"Tina, sweetie, were you looking over at that Jimmy Jr kid?" Linda asks, who supposedly was the person who had pulled her

"Yes" Tina simply replies

"I know you like him and all, but this is your party, girl! You should have fun, enjoy yourself!" Linda beams, swaying her hips and dancing

"I'll enjoy myself when I'm with Jimmy Jr" Tina claims

"Tina, you don't need Jimmy Jr to enjoy yourself, just... Go dance or something" Bob suggests

"With Jimmy Jr?" Tina asks, and Bob groans at her not getting the point

"What me and your father mean is you should spend some time with your family on your big day! Dance with us!" Linda chants "Do you want some punch?"

"No thanks" Tina says, and for what seems like 5 seconds of silence, Tina asks "Can I go talk to Jimmy Jr _now?_ " Bob and Linda sigh at Tina's occasional ignorance

Louise shifts her pupils over to Bob, who seems to be busy looking over at the list of attendees. She then slowly crept away from him, but when she least expected it, Bob spoke up

"Louise, you better not be trying to go to that chocolate fountain" Bob says, not taking his eyes from the list

Louise murmurs something under her breath, probably something she could never say at full volume in front of her parents, lest she get grounded for eternity, but then she turns around with an innocent smile "Actually, Father, I was just going to go see how Gene was doing!" She answers, batting her eyes

Bob raises his eyebrow "Ok... But know I'm watching you"

Louise snorts to herself "You may have the face of an ape and the wrinkles of a rhino, but you seem to have the eyes of a hawk..." She murmurs

"I heard that" Bob growls

"Hm, and apparently the ears of a fox" Louise adds, as she continues approaching Gene

Gene, having no _actual_ knowledge of playing the keyboard, just mindlessly hit keys on his Casio, making different sound effects with each stroke. While most people paid no mind to this, some seemed to be quite irritated

"Ugh, where's that terrible music coming from?" Tammy asks, standing with her friend, Jocelyn. She turns around and sees Gene "Ugh, it's Tina's dumb brother with his keyboard. She probably can't afford an ACTUAL DJ"

"Hey, what band is this?" Jocelyn asks

"Jocelyn, it's not even band. It's coming from Gene's keyboard thing" Tammy replies

"Ohhh, ok" Jocelyn replies "So, which band is this again?"

After what seemed like forever, Louise finally made it to Gene's table "Hey, Gene!"

"Oh, hi Louise! What's up?" He asks, still playing his keyboard

"What's UP?! You seemed to have forgotten that we need to get Tina a gift before 11:00!" Louise shrieks angrily

"Oh right! I forgot" Gene says obliviously

"No time for your ignorance, Gene!" Louise yells

"Ok, fine, fine. Do you have anything with you now that would make a good gift?" Gene asks

Louise digs her hands through both of her hoodie pockets. After some scrounging, she manages to pull out leftover pencil led and lint "Nope, just pencil led and lint"

"Why don't you just give her your hat?" Gene asks, grabbing one of the ears

"WHAT?! Are you out of your MIND?!" Louise screams, clutching onto her hat "I won't sell this for a million dollars! Don't you have anything?"

Gene starts looking in his jean pockets for anything, and he does manage to find something, but nothing that would make a good gift "All I have here are my toenail clippings and a piece of ham" He then carelessly throws the ham in his mouth, despite having no clue how long he's had that in there

"We should just steal Mom and Dad's gift" Louise suggests

"But won't they notice we took it once Tina opens her presents?" Gene asks

"We can just claim that we coincidentally bought the same exact gift as them and we have no clue what happened to theirs" Louise says

"I doubt Dad's actually gonna believe that, especially if it's coming from us" Gene replies, and he had a point "Besides, we don't even know if their gift was good"

The two turn their heads over to the gift table. It's mounted with millions of presents, and even more people were coming to put there's on the stack. There were at least 100 presents on that table

"Honestly, will Tina even notice we forgot to get her a gift? There's like, a million presents there" Louise says

"That just means our present has to be even better! It has to be perfect!" Gene states "This _is_ her last birthday, after all"

Louise wasn't exactly one to care about anyone but her, but Gene had a point. This was an important moment in Tina's life, which meant they had to make it special for her. After this, she was leaving her for a good 4 years, not to mention that after said 4 years, Louise will be starting college, which means even when Tina's out and ready to start a new life, she won't see her. If anything, Louise should care the most

"Ok, Gene. I get what you're saying. We _should_ make this special for Tina" Louise admits "So here's an idea: let's sneak out of this place and go find something that catches our eye, or more importantly, Tina's, and buy it for her, capisce?"

"But aren't you grounded? So, you can't really go outside?" Gene asks

"Gene, didn't you hear Dad this evening? He said I was _'temporarily ungrounded'_ for the night" Louise explains with a sly look "Therefore, I'm technically allowed to go out"

"Ohhh! That makes sense!" Gene grins "Ok, let's go!" And with that, he begins running towards the door, but Louise quickly stopped him by grabbing onto his shirt collar before he could advance any further

"Gene! What the hell do you think you're doing?" Louise sternly questions

"Um... Leaving...?"

"You aren't just gonna leave like that, are you?" Louise inquires with her fists rested on her hips "If we wanna get out of here unnoticed, we need to be stealthy. Follow my lead and try not to start an earthquake with your huge feet"

She presses her back against the wall with her arms and legs spread out. Then, she began sliding against it slowly, making her way to the door in the process, which was meters away from them, and at the pace they were going, it didn't look like they were getting out any time soon

* * *

"Audrey Wheeler, Avalon Turner, Seth Cera..." Bob murmurs as he continues checking the attendance list. He had only gone through about 2 pages, and there was a whole bundle of pages left to check

Tina, rather than enjoying the party with her classmates, chose to sit near her parents and guzzle down some fruit punch by herself. It wasn't like she was disappointed or anything, Tina just preferred solitude sometimes. She took another small sip of her cup and let her eyes gaze over to Jimmy Jr, who was, _surprise surprise_ , dancing. Though this is probably one of the first appropriate settings for him to dance at. Most of the time, you'd find him dancing anywhere _but_ a dance club

Linda spots her and gets her attention "Hey, Tina! Do you wanna dance with me?" She offers as she dances around "Don't you love this song? Woo!"

"I'm fine" Tina replies without turning to look at her "I'd rather just sit here and stare at Jimmy Jr"

Linda and Bob turn to look at each other in uncertainty. There just was no getting to Tina when it came to her crush

"Isn't there anyone else in your class you'd rather hang out with?" Linda asks

Tina thinks for a moment, and then shakes her head "No"

"What about Darryl?" Bob questions, keeping his eye on the list "Aren't you two friends?"

"Yeah, but I didn't bother inviting him because I knew he wouldn't come. He doesn't exactly like social interaction" Tina answers

Bob's look of uncertainty became a displeased frown "So are you telling me I spent all this money on this dance club and you aren't even going to use it to its full purpose? Therefore w _asting_ my hard earned money to please you, Tina?!" Bob angrily asks

"Don't worry, Dad. I wasted _my_ money too" Tina says with a reassuring smile, but Bob couldn't care less at this point. Tina was becoming an adult today and she still didn't know how money worked

Meanwhile, Gene and Louise were _still_ edging their way towards the door. This of course received many questionable stares from the party attendees, though most of these included raised eyebrows and confused expressions

"Louise? How long is this gonna take?" Gene asks in a loud whisper "I've been dragging my back against this wall for so long, I'm surprised my closed haven't burned off yet!"

"We're almost there, Gene. The doors only 5 ft away..." Louise responds, but her eyes then grew at the sight of something "... And so is that chocolate fountain..." She smirks and grabs Gene's hand "Gene, now's our chance! Dad's not looking!"

"Hey! You're right!" Gene smiles "Chocolate fountain, here I come!" He screams, running towards it while Louise follows close behind him

The two take another moment to admire the fountain's utter beauty. That was practically the only fountain those two would actually take time to appreciate

"Ok, let's dig in!" Gene happily says, and immediately sticks his whole face through it and begins gulping it down like an animal

Louise was somewhat disgusted at the sight, but she wasn't even surprised the least bit "Uh, Gene. You're supposed to use- ... Ah, what the hell" And with that, Louise joins in on her brother's pig-like manners. It was a complete miracle no one noticed

After a while, the two finally stick their faces out, and no surprise, they were covered in chocolate. Though, it was only around their lips. Louise licked the creamy substance off her lips "Ha, I feel bad for the next guy who takes some of that chocolate, because it has the Belcher kids' mark all over it"

"And their saliva too!" Gene adds "Now let's head out before we're spotted!"

"Right!" Louise replies, and the two silently head out of the dance club and appear outside of the door. They couldn't risk wasting any more time so they dashed off

"So, we never really discussed what we were actually getting Tina" Louise brings up, which causes both of them to stop in their tracks

"Oh... Well what do we get her?" Gene asks

"What do 18 year old girls like?" Louise asks

Gene taps his chin "Makeup, hairspray, and tampons?"

"Well, yeah. But think of what _Tina_ likes, specifically" Louise says

"Makeup, hairspray, and tampons?" Gene repeats

"Ugh. _Besides_ that, Gene" Louise groans

"Hmmm..." Gene thinks "Well, I remember Tina saying she wanted a horse for her birthday-"

"Perfect, we'll get her a horse" Louise says with a satisfied smile

"But we could never bring a horse to the restaurant! Let alone afford one" Gene says

"Trust me, Gene. I have a way with people, and I can easily work out the details when we get to where we're heading. Now, off to the horse pasture!" Louise orders

"Isn't that like, _miles_ from here?" Gene asks

"That's... True..." Louise mumbles. She thinks for a moment, and then dramatically collapses to the ground "Ah! Gene! I've seemed to struck to have lost my ability to walk! I'll need you to carry me all the way there!" She sighs dramatically

"Sure!" Gene obliges, and carries his little sister onto his back and gives her a piggyback ride on the way there

"Ha. Works every time..." Louise smirks quietly

* * *

Bob was still busying himself marking off names back at the party "Henry Haber, George Heffley, Sara Ivan-"

"Jimmy Jr looks so beautiful out there, right?" Tina says, staring at the teen dancing

"Erm... Sure, Tina" Bob replies, rolling his eyes "Samuel Iverson, Barbara Jones-"

"Just look at the way his butt moves with the music. It's like a swan, slowly and gracefully dying in the spring" She dully adds, still with her eyes locked on Jimmy Jr's rear end

Bob shudders "Oh god..." _Just keep writing Bob... Just keep writing..._ He thought to himself as he aggressively scribbled onto his clipboard. He peers out from on top of his clipboard to actually take time to look at the party. Despite all the money spent/wasted, it looked pretty nice. The balloons looked fun, the banner looked pretty (despite the error), the dance floor looked crowded and it looked like everyone was enjoying themselves, the appetizer table looked- ... Wait a second...

Bob peers closer at the table, where he saw one of Tina's classmates, a male one, standing by there, discreetly looking to his left and right for any watchers. Bob looks back down at the list and spots his name and photo "Tyler Jefferson..." He whispers under his breath. He flips over his picture to read off a brief description Tina had written about him (Tina _would_ be the one to take her time to write down every little thing about her peers)

 _"This is Tyler Jefferson. He's really cute, just like the 51 other guys I called cute on this list. One thing I really like about him is that he's a huge bad boy, a rebellious spirit, just like the 26 other guys I wrote about. Though, he's kind of a troublemaker, but that only makes him cuter"_ Bob read off. He stares back over at him

Tyler did one more quick check to see if anyone was looking at him. And when he thought the coast was clear, he grabbed a platter of shrimp lying on the table, and slid it down his shirt, probably for a snack later

"Oh my gosh" Bob mumbles, but he wasn't letting him get away with it. He gets up and hands Linda his clipboard "Lin, I'll be right back. You're in charge of attendance while I'm gone" He says to her, leaving his post "And, hey! Keep those hands where I can see them, you two!" He scolds at 2 kids who were placing their hands on rather "questionable" areas of each other's bodies

"Attendance? Now how did Bobby do it again?" Linda mutters to herself, staring at the clipboard, clueless "Eh... I think I just..."

"Since Dad's gone, could you be the 'cool mom' and let me go talk to Jimmy Jr? Please?" Tina pleads, grasping her hands together

Linda shakes her head in disapproval "Tina, Tina, Tina..." She sighs "Can you please just worry about yourself? If you keep botherin' yourself about Jimmy Jr, you won't be able to let go when he moves on to another girl, and you'll be miserable for the rest of your life!"

Tina kept quiet and looked at her mom solemnly. Linda began to form a small smile as the silence grew, and she thought Tina had finally gotten it

"... So was that a _yes_ to talking to Jimmy Jr?" Tina asks, not listening to any of Linda's prior words. Linda just sighs in irritation

 _ **With Gene and Louise**_

The two siblings were still wandering around in search for the wharf's pasture

Gene, who was still carrying his sister, was unsurprisingly beginning to get tired "I-Is it... My weight or your weight that's slowly us down...?" Gene asks between pants

"Probably yours. I'm light as a feather, but tough as nails!" Louise claims

Gene sighs, trudging farther, he felt like he was going to collapse right there

Louise continued her light reclining, but without warning, she threw herself forward over Gene's shoulder, vigorously scraping his neck and clavicle muscles as she leaned on both of them, causing Gene to flinch in pain

"Hey! Look! We're here!" Louise exclaims, pointing at the nearby pasture. It looked nearly bare, possibly due to the time of the day

Louise climbs off of Gene and they both head for the pasture's entrance. In front of it, a bronze gate entrance stood, and a small green pasture that held what looked like 4 to 5 horses was behind it

"Let's go, Gene. We better not waste any time" The sister says, as she and her brother rush into the pasture "Quick! Let's just shoot one and bring its dead body to Tina before someone finds us!" Louise suggests

"I wouldn't do that if I were you"

Gene and Louise anxiously turn around at the sound of a voice in the distant. It sounded deep, almost like a "redneck-esque" type of voice, with a hint of rasp in it too

The voice's owner exited his secluded corner and came into visibility. Now that they could actually see him, it became somewhat obvious why his tone was so dry. He appeared to be old, but not _that_ much. Maybe a little bit "post-middle-aged", but not an actual senior citizen. He had bits of gray hairs in some places, just like their parents, and wore a flannel shirt under his unkempt overalls. And to top it all off, he wore worn-out brown shoes with dirty, untied laces. From the looks of it, the man did not look pleased

"I'm the owner of this here pasture, and I did not work overtime just to find god damn Gabriel Iglesias and the Easter bunny running around in my pasture" He growls, displeased

"Heh heh, Eater bunny..." Gene snickers, looking at an irritated Louise

"What do you guys want anyways? Were you tryin' to vandalize this place or somethin'?" The farmer asks, giving them both a scowl

"We want a horse, and no wasting our time" Louise demands

"Yup! We want your finest horse!" Gene adds

"Ok then, that'll be 20 grand" The man replies, holding his hand out

"20 GRAND?!" Louise exclaims at the unbelievable price

"Yes. 20 grand"

"... Er... Ok, maybe not your finest horse" Gene says, biting his lip

Louise, being her aggressive self, wasn't gonna let this slide that easily. She approaches the pasture owner and violently grabs him by the collar and pulls him dangerously close to her face

"Listen here, buddy. We want our horse, and we want it now. We aren't gonna pay that crap price for some crap horse that isn't even mine. I could buy something 100x better for more than half of that price, so if you don't want me to tear off each of your limbs one by one, you better hand us over that mound of fur and poop" She hisses with a death stare

The man was mortified. Louise was probably the only 14 year old adults were allowed to be terrified of. He shivers in fear and gulps "I-If you're gonna put those death threats on me like that, I-I'm gonna have to ask you to leave!" He frets

Louise has gotten her family kicked out of restaurants, movie theaters, social gatherings, hotels, you name it. So before Louise could get them kicked out of here and possibly sent to jail, Gene decided it was his job to take matters into his own hands

"So here's the thing..." Gene began, cutting in "It's our older sister's 18th birthday and we wanted to get her something really special-"

"So you decided to get her some dirty horse...?" The man asks

"Well, yeah. She wants one. Or... At least I think she does..." Gene mumbles "You see, we need the horse, but at the same time, we don't. And we really, really want it, but at the same time, we really, really don't. Plus, we want it at our house, but then again, not really... You het it, right?" Gene asks

"Gene, he's not psychic. Because he'd need to be to understand the crap you just asked him" Louise states

"No, no, I get what you're saying. I get exactly what you mean, and I think I can help you folks out" The farmer says "I can tell you kids want your horse, but you can't afford to live with it. Listen, my farm's participatin' in a charity foundation where we give people the choice to pick out a horse, but not to personally keep. Sort of a way to "claim" it as your own with an identification tag, and it's only 30 dollars"

Gene and Louise look at each other in agreement and gladly accept the offer "We'll take it!" They both say. Gene and Louise begin rummaging for their cash to split if for the horse

"13... 14... 15. How about you, Gene?" Louise asks

"Yup! I have 15 too!" Gene replies

Louise grabs his money and hands the full price to the man

"Ok, have at it" The owner says "Here's our arrangement of horses, pick anyone you like"

He directed his hands to a large horse pen, where 5 horses stood. Some were brown, some were black. Some were spotted, some were striped. Some were popping, and- well, they were _all_ pooping

"Hmmm.. Which horse should we pick?" Louise asks, tapping her chin

While the two looked, a specific horse caught their eye. It was especially strange with it's odd color palette. It seemed to be a black horse with a slick, black mane. Except it was covered in several white blotches

"What the hell is that thing? Some kind of cow horse hybrid?" Louise asks the pasture owner, pointing at the horse

"Ah, that's ol' Almonds. She's our only pinto horse, they're pretty rare 'round these parts" The owner explains

Almonds was slowly eating grass that was in front of him, chewing loudly. There was just something about him that set him apart from the other horses

"We should take it, Louise. Tina'll love it! It looks just like her!" Gene suggest, unaware of the insult he had just shot at his sister

"And smells like her, too" Louise adds, actually aware of her intentional insult. She turns to look at the farmer "Ok, we want the horse"

"Fantastic" He smiles. It sure wasn't easy money he earned, but it was still money. He pulls out a shiny blue tag and grabs a sharpie "So, what's 'er name again?" He asks

"Tina! With a 't', and a 'na'!" Gene explains

"Ti... Na..." He mumbles, scribbling down her name. After he had finished, he grabbed a name tag holder which was connected to two straps that were meant to act as a necklace and placed the tag inside. He walked up to Almonds and slid the necklace around her neck and clipped it on

Almonds look down at the necklace, and begins chewing on that in stead of the grass she was previously consuming

"He loves it already! It was nice doing business with you two" The owner smiles "Now get out of here!"

"Ugh, gladly. This place smells terrible..." Louise grumbles "Let's go, Gene... And carry me again! My legs hurt"

"But weren't you just-" Gene begins

"I SAID CARRY ME!" Louise interrupted, and unless you wanted to keep your limbs, you'd listen. So Gene rushes over to carry her a second time, back to the party

* * *

"Ughhhh..."

"Tina, would you stop moaning?"

"Ughhhhhhh..."

"Oh my gosh..."

Tina was hunched over, moaning sadly. I'm sure you can all guess why by now

"Bobby, she really wants to go and talk to him" Linda whispers

"Well she needs to learn to resist temptations, because she is _not_ talking to that Pesto kid!" Bob whispers back

Linda sighs "Bob, when will you ever learn..."

"Besides, Tina's out of his league" Bob explains, looking at Jimmy Jr, who is still dancing around like no one was watching

"Oh, so now you're saying she's too ugly for him? Is that it?" Linda shoots back

"What? No! I didn't mean it like that! What I mean is-"

"Save it, Bobby! I don't wanna hear it!" Linda hisses

"Ugh... Lin..." Bob groans, but his previous annoyed expression soon became a confused face "Wait a second, it's almost too quiet in here... And, nothing's exploded yet... Where are Gene and Louise?" He anxiously asks

"Gene's at the DJ table, playing his keyboard" Tina replies, turning to look there, except Gene was nowhere in sight "Oh, never mind. He's gone"

"Now that you mention it, I don't see Louise over there either!" Linda exclaims "Oh my gosh! My babies have been kidnapped!"

"They haven't been kidnapped, Lin. They just left the party" Bob replies "I can't believe I can't even trust Gene to do something as simple as DJ a party for his sister's birthday without disrespecting him!"

Tina sighs and covers her face "Ughhhh..."

Linda frowns as she looks at Tina. From the looks of it, she wasn't enjoying her party at all, but she planned on changing that

"Hey, Tina! Guess what time it is?" Linda asks excitedly

"What?" Tina asks, without removing her face from her hands

"It's 10 o' clock sharp! Which means...?" Linda smiles

"That the party's ending in an hour and all of this torture will finally be over?" Tina dully asks

"Well... Er... Yes, but it's also time for you to open your gifts! Yay!" Linda cheers

Tina looks over at the gift table, and it's a literal mountain over there. Everyone bought her at least one gift, and all of them were stacked up high, on the verge of falling over everywhere

"Well, aren't you excited?" Linda asks

"Er... I guess so..." Tina mumbles

"Then have at it! It's your birthday, you should be happy!" Linda encourages, patting Tina on the shoulder

Tina creates a small grin and gets up from her chair "Well, ok" She smiles, and walks over to the table excitedly

"Wow, she actually looks pretty... Happy.." Bob murmurs, looking at Tina pick out a present

"Doesn't she? I know after she's done opening all of her presents, Jimmy Jr will be the last of her worries!" Linda smiles

 _ **About 50 minutes later**_

"I can't believe everyone bought her the same thing..." Linda says in disbelief

Tina had finished opening her gifts and was laying in a tidal wave of various toiletries, disappointed with her outcome. Turns out the people in Tina's class didn't know her as well as she thought they did

"Well, I mean, isn't that what every teenage girl wants?" Bob asks Linda, who just shakes her head in disapproval

The 2 decide to go over to comfort their daughter "So, Tina! How was.. Erm.. The gifts?" Linda asks with a faux smile

Tina groans and drops her head "What am I even gonna do with all of these bath salts?" She moans, coming deathly close to crying

"Well you shouldn't worry yourself any longer, Tina. Because me and your mother have gotten you the gift to last a lifetime" Bob grins

"You did?" Tina asks

"So you know how you wanted a horse for your birthday?" Bob asks, reaching for something behind his back with an eager grin

Tina gasps "You got me a horse?!"

"Ta-da!" Bob cheers, as he reveals what was in his hands. It sure was a horse, but not the one Tina was anticipating

"A... Horse figurine..." Tina says, looking at the figure which rested in Bob's hands. It was a small, glass horse figurine with its foreleg raised up

"Yeah, do you like it?" Linda asks ecstatically

"Uhh..." Tina moans looking at it

"It's just _like_ a horse, except it's easier to keep and it doesn't poop every 5 minutes" Bob adds, handing it to Tina

Tina gets a glimpse of it in her hands for a few seconds, but her clumsy nature causes her to drop it. When the horse it the floor it shattered into pieces, leaving glass everywhere

"Oops" Tina simply says, looking at the remains of glass surrounding her and her parents' shoes

"Aaaaand there goes my $100..." Bob sighs, followed by her daughter's own sigh right after

Linda, now feeling exceedingly bad for her daughter, wrapped her in a tight hug "It's ok, Tina. Look on the bright side, the party's about to end!"

"Wait, what?" Tina replies. She manages to slide her head over Linda's shoulder during the hug and looks over at the large clock that was hung on the wall, which read exactly 10:50

"10:50?!" Tina shrieks "The party's ending in ten minutes?!"

"Um, yeah. Why?" Bob asks

"I haven't even gotten to talk to Jimmy Jr yet! I _have_ to see him before the party ends, Dad! Please!" Tina pleads, holding her hands together anxiously

"Tina, for the last time, you aren't seeing Pesto's kid. You're just gonna kiss him, you can see him any other day of the week. Just... Not tonight" Bob asks, almost as if he was begging

Tina's imploring expression soon turned into what almost looked like... An angry expression...?

"Dad, what the hell is your problem?" Tina sternly asks, maintaining her irate appearance

"Er.. What are you talking about?" Bob asks

It was rare you see Tina Belcher mad. She was usually so calm and reserved. Tina wouldn't dream of killing a fly, but on the scarce occasion she does become mad, it's best to keep your distance

"Did I stutter?" Tina asks, getting closer to her father's face "I asked to see Jimmy Jr, it's my party, why can't I? I hope you didn't forget I'm an adult now, therefore, I shouldn't be taking orders from you!"

"Tina, don't talk to me like that. You're an adult but you're still my daughter" Bob replies

"You don't _own_ me, Dad! Ugh! My god! I wish you'd stop being so overprotective for once! I'm a grown woman and I can take care of myself, so why don't you mind your own god damn business?" Tina yells back

Bob was shocked, and so was Linda. Out of all of their children, Tina was the most respectful. She never talked back or argued. They couldn't even believe Tina was the one yelling at them

"I love him and he loves me, so why can't I? He's not poison, you idiot! Would you stop trying to pull me away from him?!"

Bob wasn't sure if he should be angry or sad "Tina, listen to me-"

"No, Dad, YOU listen to me" Tina interrupts "I'm not a baby anymore, I'm my own person. So how about you stay out of this? I don't care what you or Mom says, Jimmy Jr _loves_ me, and he's probably wondering where I am right now. This is our night, it's been fate for so long. Why can't you get that into your head, Dad? Hell, I couldn't care less about this stupid party, Jimmy Jr's probably the only reason I worked so damn hard for it, and if I can't even talk to him, what's even the POINT?"

Bob and Linda couldn't bring themselves to say another word. They're mouths hung open, and the words kept ringing through their heads

 _Jimmy Jr's probably the only reason I worked so damn hard for it..._ That's all Bob could hear. She didn't want all of this, Jimmy Jr did. Was this even Tina's party anymore?

"Now I'm gonna go talk to him in the mere 10 minutes I have, whether you like it or not" Tina mumbles, shoving Bob to the side as she walks over to her target

"T-Tina, wait!" Linda shrieks with her hand out, but she ignores her mother's pleads "Oh, Bobby! What are we gonna do?"

Bob didn't answer. He couldn't. After what Tina had just told him, he didn't know what to do. He simply sighs and shakes his head "Tina..." He murmurs, with his eyes closed. He looked irritated, like he was just done with everything and everyone

Just then, the door shot open as Gene and Louise walk through, passing Tina on their way back to where they were supposed to be

"Oh, hi there, Tina!" Gene says to his sister, but she just ignores him and continues sternly walking

Her siblings catch a glimpse of her clearly displeased expression, but aren't sure why, due to their absence from previous events

"Hm, why does she look so... Mad?" Gene asks

"Hormones" Louise simply replies "Now let's get back to where we were before Dad catches us!"

"Too late"

Gene and Louise turn around, only to see their father with his arms crossed looking at the two of them

"Oh... H-Hi Dad!" Louise nervously laughs, waving at him

"Where the hell have you two been?! You had no reason to leave, especially you, Gene! You had a job to do!" Bob yells

"We were just getting a gift for Tina. And just like I said, our gift is WAY better than yours!" Louise answers

"What do you mean you were getting Tina a gift?" Bob asks "I thought you said you- ... So you _lied_ to me?"

"I wouldn't say we were 'lying'" Gene says "Maybe... 'planning'!"

Bob gives Gene an angry squint, but quickly stops as his eyes revert to normal and he looks closer at Gene's face "Gene, what's that brown stuff on your lip?" He asks

Gene looks down at it "Um... Uh.."

"Wait a second... You and your sister drank out of that chocolate fountain, despite me telling you not to, didn't you?" Bob questions

"What made you assume that it was both of us? You have no proof I drank from it!" Louise says, defending herself

Bob points to her hoodie, which has an excessive amount of chocolate stains on it

"Dammit!" Louise exclaims

"Ugh..." Bob groans, rubbing his temples "Can you guys please go off and do something that doesn't end with me scolding you? I don't have time for this, especially because of what's going on now"

"Why? _What's_ going on now?" Gene inquires

"Nothing. Just... Never mind" Bob replies, walking off. Leaving Gene and Louise to look at each other with confused glances

* * *

Jimmy Jr has spent pretty much the whole party on his feet busting his "moves", so as the party was gonna end, he thought it would be a good time to kick it back with a drink of punch

He was standing by one of the room's walls, sipping his small glass of punch. Before getting halfway through the drink, however, he quickly spat it out in disgust

"Blech, what is this? Dishwater?" Jimmy Jr asks, leaving his cup on the ground "Pssh, this party blows..." He mumbles to himself looking over to his side. When he turns back to faces forward, he's met with a surprise. It was Tina, who had a large smile plastered on her face, and was a little bit too close to him

"Woah!" Jimmy Jr exclaims, mildly startled

"Oh, hi Jimmy Jr. I didn't see you there" Tina says, keeping her smile

"Of course you didn't..." Jimmy Jr murmurs, rolling his eyes "What do you want, Teresa?"

"Uh, it's Tina" Tina corrects him "But I'm sure that was an honest mistake" She grins "Anyways, are you enjoying the party?"

"Pfft, I guess..." Jimmy Jr replies, avoiding eye contact. He clearly looked like he didn't want to be talked to, but Tina couldn't care less at this point

"Yeah, I guess" Tina says in a similar tone to Jimmy Jr

"Are you mocking me?" He asks

"What? No. I was just agreeing with you. We're so in sync, right?" Tina asks, getting closer to Jimmy Jr, who backs away awkwardly

"Uh..." Jimmy Jr mumbles, looking away "Listen, Tina, I gotta-"

"You've gotta use the rest room? I can come with you, if you want" Tina grins

"Oh my gosh... What I mean is I've gotta go. It's late" Jimmy Jr says

"What? Don't go, the night's still young! Unlike me, cuz I'm old, now that I'm a grown woman" Tina states "Hot, right?"

"Er..." The teen boy mumbles. He would've backed away farther, but he was already pressed against the wall like an iron on clothes, so in stead he turns away and avoids looking at her "Tina, can I just please go ho-" As he turns back around to look at her, he sees that Tina has her eyes closed and her lips puckered, ready to kiss him "... What are you doing?"

"Huh?" Tina blurts, opening her eyes. Since she noticed Jimmy Jr wasn't going along with the whole "kiss" thing, she had to come up with an excuse "Oh, I was just, um, doing lip exercises" Tina lies, embarrassed at her mistake

"O... K..." Jimmy Jr says, obviously confused

"Do you like the decorations? I chose them myself. I wanted zombie horses, but you can't have everything" Tina says, admiring her choice in decor

"Sure, I guess... But why's 'birthday' spelled with a 'u' on that banner?" Jimmy Jr asks, pointing to her misspelled banner

"My brother did that, and he's not the best speller, or the best reader" Tina answers "But I'm a good reader, and I can read your lips. They're saying they wanna be pressed up against mine"

"Wait, what?" Jimmy Jr blurts confused

"What? I didn't say anything" Tina fibs "I'm sure you were wondering where I was the entire party"

"I really wasn't-"

"My dumb parents made me spend the whole night with them. Like, gosh, right? So lame" Tina says. Despite what she said, she could barely bring herself to really say that stuff about them "But I'm here now, and thank god, right?"

"Yeah... Thank god..." Jimmy Jr mumbles sardonically, rolling his eyes

"Was that sarcasm?" Tina asks

"Nooo..." Jimmy Jr replies, just as ironically as last time

"Oh, ok. Cool" Tina smiles, oblivious to what he was implying. She shifts her eyes to Jimmy Jr and slowly wraps her arm around his neck

Jimmy Jr, who obviously isn't "into it", removes her arm from him and puts his hands back in his pockets

 _"Ooh, playing hard to get"_ Tina thinks to herself, grinning. Her eyes shift from Jimmy Jr to the clock, which read 10:55 _"Oh my gosh, 5 minutes? Tina, just make your move, before it's too late. This is your time, our time. You can do this"_

She takes a sharp inhale and looks over at her crush "Hey, Jimmy Jr?"

"Um, yeah...?" The young Pesto replies

"There comes a time in every couples' life where they have to come back to terms with what brought the two together. Go back to the past and realize what they feel about each other" Tina says

He raises his eyebrow "Uh...? What are you-"

Tina grabs Jimmy Jr's hands, lifts them up to chest level in between the two, and gives him a somewhat seductive smile "Jimmy Jr, you're my boyfriend, right?" And before he could even give her an answer, Tina slowly attempts to pull Jimmy Jr in for a kiss, but to Tina's dismay, it didn't seem like the desire was mutual

A startled and somewhat disgusted Jimmy Jr quickly pulled back from her attempted smooch, and pushed her away without any hesitation

Tina dramatically fell to the ground after Jimmy Jr's violent shove. Confused and somewhat heartbroken, Tina looks back up at him "Wh-What..?" She says

"Tina! What the hell was that?!" Jimmy Jr screams

Tina gets back up to her feet "I was just kissing you. Since we're... Dating and all-"

"What the hell are you talking about?!" Jimmy Jr blurts angrily "Tina, we were never an item, and we will never _be_ an item. Got that?"

Tina gasps. She was mortified, was she hearing him right?

"Wh-What did you..."

"You heard me, Tina. I just don't like you like that, and from the way you're being now, all clingy and stuff, I don't think I can like you as a friend either" He continues with a strict expression

Tina just kept her mortified and confused expression. She couldn't believe this was happening. None of it made any sense. What happened to the boy she once loved?

"Listen, Tina. The years we were... _'going steady'_ , were our _awkward_ years, let's be honest. I've moved on, and you should've too. It's not like we really liked each other. Come on, we were 13 years old"

13 or 30, Tina didn't care, she's truly loved Jimmy Jr ever since the day they had met "But Jimmy Jr, I still-"

"Save it, Tina. I don't wanna hear it. Could you just bug off? I've sort of got a reputation to keep here?" The teenager remarks. That's when he smirked "Besides... I've got my eye on another girl"

Tina gasps again. Jimmy Jr liked another girl? She couldn't handle all of his remarks being thrown at her at once and now he's in love with another chick?

"B-But... Jimmy Jr-" Tina mutters, but is cut off

"Listen, it's 10:58, I've gotta go. See you at school, I guess"

And with that lousy farewell, he turned back and made his way to the door. Not looking back for a single second

Tina was heartbroken, genuinely heartbroken. Everything he said, she just couldn't handle it. She just stood there, with the same fearful expression she had during Jimmy Jr's speech, she couldn't bring herself to move. She felt almost lifeless, like she was by herself. When she wanted to be isolated at her party, it wasn't like this. She wanted to be isolated with him, the same man she's loved for more than 5 years and had never stopped loving, the same man who just shunned her away on her birthday, her 18th birthday nonetheless. This was supposed to be Tina's night, the night where sparks flew, but the only thing that flew were her chances with Jimmy Jr, _right out of the window_. She fiercely bit down on her lip and clenched her fists by her side to fight the tears so they wouldn't rush out of her eyes like waterfalls. Tina just wanted to be alone, but to her dismay, that desire was shattered at her very eyes when her two siblings came to her, unaware of what had previously happened

"Hey, T, you enjoying your party?" Louise asks. She received no answer

"Wow! She's speechless from how great things are going!" Gene smiles. Once again, he had received no answer

"Well you're gonna be enjoying even more when you find out the awesome birthday present me and Gene got you!" Louise excitedly says "We got you a-"

Just then, Tina couldn't control it. She couldn't hold it in any longer, and she dramatically bursts into tears. Similar to her long-winded moans, she didn't put much feeling to it, but she was still very sad. She covered her eyes in anguish, and took off crying, running towards the door

Gene and Louise cautiously turn around to watch Tina, confused

"Woah... What's wrong with her?" Louise asks

Gene shrugs with a concerned look "I have no clue, I'd figured she'd be happy on her big day! But we should go and ask Dad. He'll probably know" Gene suggests walking towards the table their parents sat at

Louise follows, but stops herself abruptly. She looks behind her and sees Tina, who's still crying a river. In stead of clearing showing traces of pity, Louise didn't look sad in the slightest. In fact, she was angry, but not at Tina

Just to think that she had invited her whole entire 12th grade class to her birthday party, and none of them have gone to, oh, I don't know, _console_ her? _Help_ her? _Comfort_ her? _Pay actual heed to her obvious problems_?!

To call them heartless would make her a hypocrite, so all she could mutter was "I swear to God himself, Tina. The son of a bitch who did this to you..."

Gene had finally reached his father, and was panting and sweating as if he had run a race

"Hey... Dad...!" Gene exclaims in between large pants

Bob sighs "Gene, why are you so tired? You were, like, 25 ft away from me. What do you want?"

"I was just wondering if you know why Tina's crying" Gene says

This not only caught Bob's attention, but Linda's also "Wait, what?!" Bob asks

"Tina's crying? My baby's crying on her birthday?" Linda gasps, dramatically placing her hands over her mouth

"Why?!" Bob exclaims anxiously

"How am I supposed to know? I'm asking you, remember?" Gene replies

"Where is she?!" Bob asks, getting up, along with Linda

"She's on her way to the entrance, I think" Gene says, pointing to the large doors that stood in front of the club. Sure enough, Tina was slowly heading there whilst sobbing

"Come on, Lin" Bob orders, as he charges towards his daughter "Tina! Wait! Slow down!" He blurts with his hand out, but she just keeps on going, and before they knew it, she was out of the door

Bob slowly drops his hand and closes his mouth. What was going on with Tina lately? Was it the overwhelming pressure of organizing this party or just... Well, puberty?

"Oh, Bobby, I hope she's ok! What happened?!" Linda cautiously asks her husband

Bob sighs "I don't know, Lin, but I intend on finding out... Come on guys, it's 11, let's get out of here"

Bob rushes over to the same mic Tina has used for her introductory speech "Hey, party's over, kids. Get out of here"

A few disappointed "aww's" arose from the crowd as they reluctantly filed out of the building, immersed in their conversations as they exited

"Come on, guys. Let's start cleaning, grab a broom" Bob orders, as he grabs his own broom and starts cleaning up

While Gene and Louise would've talked back at his order or complain, they were in no mood to at this point, and willingly began cleaning the place up

* * *

About 15 minutes had passed and everyone had left the party, except the Belchers. While the family finished up their cleaning, Tina had began finishing up her sobbing. Sniffling and coughing, Tina silently stood outside of the building in the clear dark night. Her surroundings were so dim and lifeless, and the only thing left to light up the place was the club's several strung lights reflecting outside and the shimmering stars in the sky

Tina had never felt a whole flurry of emotions in one night. It was a whole tornado of excitement, anxiety, pure rage, confusion, fear, and sadness, all within a few hours. She had finally removed her damp hands from her face and took off her glasses to clean her eyes, revealing that they were red from all the crying. After wiping off her tears, she puts her eyewear back on and glances at the night sky without a word. It didn't distract her from the hard truth she had faced previously, but it was much better than crying all night. She tried to force a smile, but even faking it was hard. She had such high hopes for this night, and everything went wrong. She still felt incredibly guilty for disrespecting her parents like that, and Jimmy Jr... Well, you get the picture. It was official, this was the worst day of Tina Belcher's life. Her 18th birthday, the day she became a woman. Let's just say, her introduction to womanhood hasn't been as grand as she thought it would be

* * *

 **Woah, my longest chapter... Hell, probably the longest chapter of fanfiction I've written ever, ha ha. It's hard for me to write dramatic/depressing stories, so this chapter probably didn't come out too good... What will happen to Tina in the next chapter? Find out after the break! ... Wait a second...**


	7. Revenge is Sweet

Disclaimer - The rights to Bob's Burgers and its characters belong to Loren Bouchard, Bento Box Entertainment, and any others associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction, this is all just for fun :)

 **Hope you enjoy this chapter! (Hopefully) It'll be much shorter than the last one ^^;**

* * *

 **Bob to the Future - Chapter 7: Revenge is Sweet**

 _"We were never an item, and we will never be an item"_

 _"We were never an item, and we will never be an item"_

 _"We were never an item, and we will never be an item"_

Those words kept ringing through Tina's head. She could never forget what had happened on her birthday with Jimmy Jr. Her heart shattered like glass, right before her very eyes. And to think Jimmy Jr had felt no feelings of remorse whatsoever for his harsh actions. The same boy she had believed loved her just the way she did towards him, never loved her in the first place

Tina was curled up in her bed, moaning and crying to herself in her dark room. In fact, that was all she had been doing since the night after the party. From Friday to Sunday, all she did was spend her time lying in her tears. It was early Monday morning, and the kids were just getting ready to go to school. Well, almost

While Tina continued crying, she heard a loud, aggressive knock on her door

Tina looks up at her door, angry "Whoever it is, go way!" She shouts, and resumed her quiet sobbing

"Tina, you can't stay in your room forever, you know" Bob says, the one knocking on her door. Behind him was the rest of the Belcher family

"Yeah, Tina! You need to eat, remember?" Gene yells through the door

"I'm eating my feelings" Tina replies

"Poor girl..." Linda sighs

"Can you please get out of your room, Tina? You're gonna be late for school" Bob says, and he receives no answer "Tina? Tina?" He repeats, knocking on the door again

"Maybe she's been in there for so long, she lost her ability to hear!" Gene suggests

"You can't lose your ability to hear like that, Gene" Bob groans, rolling his eyes

"How do _you_ know that? You aren't a doctor" Gene claims

"I don't have to be a doctor to know that!" Bob argues

As the father and son continue their quarreling, Tina tries her best to ignore the noise. She lies her head back down and grabs something from her mantel beside her bed. It was a picture of Jimmy Jr back in junior year. Asking how she was able to get it would be silly, because, well, it's Tina. She looks at the picture and only manages to become sadder. Despite what he had said to her and her desired isolation lately, all she wanted was to be in Jimmy Jr's presence. All she wanted was his undivided attention and love, but from the looks of how things were going, the desire was not mutual

Meanwhile, outside her door, Gene and Bob were still yelling over each other about their silly argument

"Would you stop arguing, Bob? You're acting like a nitwit!" Linda orders

"Me?! Gene was arguing with me too! Why aren't you calling him out?" Bob claims

"Because we're used to Gene making ridiculous accusations" Linda says

"Yeah, Dad!" Gene says

"You shouldn't be proud of that Gene" Bob says, irritated

"Tina, sweetie, it's your Mom!" Linda yells, knocking on her door "Please come out, you've gotta go to school!"

Tina had her head deep inside her pillow "I don't wanna go to school" She says, her speech muffled

Linda shrugs "Meh, ok then"

"What?! Lin, are you crazy?! She needs to go to school!" Bob complains "She's already skipped 2 days of work, she isn't gonna skip school"

"Bobby, she's clearly in an emotional state right now. Listen to her, she's a mess!" Linda says

Bob listens to Tina's loud bawls from her room, and frowns "I knew I couldn't trust that Pesto kid... I can't believe he said those things to Tina"

Bob couldn't forget the night after the party. In the car, Tina told them all about it, everything that had happened. They didn't know what to say, and were forced to listen to Tina's weeping and wailing the entire way back. After hearing that, Bob's hate for the Pesto's only increased drastically

Bob listened closely to Tina' cries. Her wailing was nearly incoherent, but he could manage to hear her mumbling about Jimmy Jr. He sighs "You know what, I guess she can skip school... But just this one time!"

"Cool! Tina can skip school? Can I skip school too?" Gene asks

"No, Gene. Tina has an actual reason to be skipping school" Bob says

"I have a reason too! I hate school!" Gene complains

"Just go to school already..." Bob groans

As Gene sighs in defeat, the whole family's eyes turn to Louise, who hadn't said a thing since this morning

"Louise, you're being awfully quiet today. Is there a problem?" Bob asks

"Wha-? Huh?" Louise blurts, regaining her consciousness "No..."

"Well, ok. You kids should just go to school before you get a tardy. You are not getting a tardy on your first month of school!" Linda states, as the other two Belchers turn to go downstairs. Linda and Bob anxiously stayed upstairs though, in front of Tina's door, listening to her mournful cries

Even downstairs, Tina's bawls were heard, which didn't make business any better. As no one wanted to hear the sounds of a teenager crying while they ate a barely tolerable burger

Just like at the party, Louise stopped mid way towards the door and looked up the stairs with a displeased expression. Gene turns around and sees that she's stopped

"Louise, why did you stop? Are you sure you're ok?" Gene queries, concerned

"For the love of god, YES I'm ok! Would you guys stop asking me that?!" Louise shrieks "Just keep going, I'll catch up with you"

"Er... Ok.." Gene says leaving, doing the same unsure groan he usually did

After Gene had left, Louise continued looking up the stairs and listening to Tina. But while she did the same thing at the party when she saw Tina crying, this time, in stead of boiling with rage, she looked... Sad

Louise was the type of person who enjoyed the sight of pain, but not when it happened to someone close to her like Tina. Despite all the times she's picked on her, deep down, she cared for her older sister probably more than she cared for herself. Louise would never admit it, but she actually felt... Bad for Tina

Louise raises her fist to chest level and clenches her teeth, turning back to the old Louise we knew and loved "I said I'd find the asshole who did this to you Tina, and now that I have, I swear I'll avenge you..." She grievously says "Say your prayers, Jimmy Jr, and make your last words good..." And with that final threat, she left for school

* * *

 _ **RING!**_

"And with that, students, I suppose it's time for you to depart" Mr. Van Horn spoke, reclining on his desk

The last bell had just rung and all the kids that weren't taking the bus or going by car exited their classrooms hurriedly. One of these kids being Louise Belcher

Louise slung her backpack over her shoulder and walked towards her homeroom door where the twins were hanging out by

"Hey, Ollie! Watch this!" Andy says, as he reaches for his brother's eyeball and touches it, causing it to close by reflex

"Ouch! Ha ha! Watch this!" Ollie says, doing the same exact thing to his brother, causing him to laugh also

Whilst the two boys were in a fit of giggles, Louise taps both of them on the shoulder

"Hey! Grady Twins!" Louise calls out to Ollie and Andy

"Oh, hey Louise! Did you know when you touch someone's eyeball, they blink!" Andy says "Let me try it on you!" He reaches his finger out to touch Louise's iris, but she quickly catches it and twists his arm violently

"AHH!" Andy shrieks "LET GO! LET GO!"

Louise releases his hand, keeping her annoyed glance

"Hey, Ollie! Watch this!" Andy says. He grabs his arm and twists it in the same manner as Louise did

"AHH!: Ollie screams "Ha ha! Cool!"

"Would you butt brains stop talking and listen for a second?!" Louise blurts

"Ok. Why didn't you just say so?" Ollie asks, causing Louise to facepalm

"Just follow me to my locker..." She groans

The 3 students exit their classroom and talk as they head to the locker hall

"So what's up, Louise?" Andy asks

"I'll tell you what's up, Ollie-"

"I'm Andy"

"Potato, po-tah-to" Louise says "You're brother did something unforgivable"

Ollie and Andy gasp and then look at each other

"I can't believe you did that!" They both say at each other in unison

"No, I don't mean either of you!" Louise yells frustrated "I'm talking about your older brother!"

"Ollie! I can't believe you did that!" Andy says to an equally shocked Ollie

Louise groans "I _mean_ Jimmy Jr, you idiots! That son of a bastard hurt my sister's feelings!"

"You mean he hurt Gene's feelings?" Ollie asks

"Oh my gosh. Gene's my- oh, never mind..." Louise sighs "Anyways, because of him, she spent the whole weekend in her room crying like our dad died or something. So here's the deal, I want you two to help me get revenge on Jimmy Jr-"

"Ok, sure!" The twins reply simultaneously

"Wait, what?" Louise asks "So you guys don't mind that I'm kind of asking you to help me sabotage your brother?"

"Sure we don't mind! Why would we?" Andy asks

Louise is perplexed, but couldn't care less at this point "Hm. Ok then. You two dorks should walk home with me, there we can plan out how we're gonna make your brother suffer" She says with a devilish smirk "We just need to wait for my stupid brother"

Right on cue, Gene arrived by his sister's locker

"Hey, Louise!" Gene greets. Apparently, one of his fists were clenched, giving the impression that he was holding something in them

"What are you holding?" Louise asks, looking at her hand

"Oh, this? It's just some gum I found under my desk. Do you want it?" Gene asks, opening his palm to reveal previously chewed bubble gum

"Hell yes I want it! Give it to me!" Louise demands

"You're gonna have to take it from me!" Gene teases. As Louise reaches for his fist, Gene swiftly lifts it over her head. On Louise's second attempt, she tries to take his now lowered fist, which he then raises again. Gene chuckles at her misfortune trying to snatch the candy. Heck, at this point, Gene wasn't even moving his arm, he simply held it in the air as Louise constantly tried to jump and grab it, but Gene's tall stature didn't help anything. Looks like his unusual height had its advantages

And while, yes, being tall was great, being Louise's height was even better. As Gene had his hand in the air, Louise swiftly punched him square in the stomach, receiving a quick yelp of pain from Gene, causing him to drop the gum right in Louise's hands as he clenched onto his stomach

Louise stuck the gum in her mouth and began chewing it as she spoke "The twins are walking home with us, by the way. Come on, you two"

"Ok, Louise!" Ollie and Andy say in unison, following the leader. Gene on the other hand, slowly limped towards them, still holding onto his stomach in pure pain. Taunting Louise was probably the biggest mistake anyone could make

* * *

Later, the 4 arrive to the restaurant. When the kids enter, the signature bell sounds off when the door opens. Bob turns to check who it is and sees the kids

"Oh, hey guys. How was school?" Bob asks, greeting the kids

"Like it always is! School doesn't really change, Dad" Gene answers

"Right..." Bob says, his voice trailing off

"How's Tina? Is she better?" Gene asks

"I guess you could say she's doing... Um..."

Right then, Tina's loud wails are heard from upstairs

"Erm... Yeah, she isn't doing too better. But I know I'll get to her sometime. Just try to keep your distance from her" Bob suggests

"Ok, got it!" Gene says, walking off "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go play some video games!"

"Gene, if you have time to be playing video games, then you clearly have time to be working on the kitchen grill" Bob says

"But you said I can't use the grill" Gene happily says, excusing himself

"I'll monitor you. Come on, it's about time you learn anyways" Bob says "You know Tina was manning the grill when she was 12"

"But I'm not 12, I'm 16" Gene says

"That's exactly my point. Now get in the kitchen!" Bob orders

"Aw..." Gene sighs, reluctantly heading towards the kitchen

Bob makes sure to watch Gene as he enters the kitchen to make sure he doesn't run off behind his back. When he turns back to look at Louise, he sees the Pesto twins and becomes confused

"Louise, why are the Pesto twins in here?" Bob whispers "Do you really think it's a smart move to have Pestos in here after that... 'Incident'?"

"Dad, it's fine" Louise says "In fact, Ollie, Andy, and I are working on... Homework together! Yeah, homework"

"Homework?" Andy says "I thought we were plotting reve-"

Before he could finish Louise quickly covers his mouth "Yes, Andy. We're working on _**HOMEWORK**_ , isn't that _**RIGHT**_?"

Bob raises his eyebrow "Uh... Ok...?"

Louise begins walking off to the basement, still holding onto Andy's mouth "Ok, we'll just be in the basement, you know, doing our **_homework_** , and nothing else..."

"Um..." Bob mutters. He then just shrugs and goes along with it "Ok, Gene. I'm coming in there"

"Ok! But what do I do when the grill's on fire, again?" Gene asks in front of the now flaming burger grill

"Oh my gosh..." Bob sighs

Meanwhile, The 3 freshmen enter Bob's Burgers' basement, and immediately they reach the end of the staircase, Louise goes to the basement's closet

"Louise, I thought we were trying to get revenge on Jimmy Jr, not do homework" Andy inquires

"We _are_ , it's not like I was gonna tell my Dad that" Louise says pulling the table over to the center of the room

"So isn't that sort of lying?" Ollie asks

Louise scoffs "Yes, Ollie, it's lying. Being a good liar is an essential part of coming up with a plan. Now would you two dorks get over here?"

Andy and Ollie walk over to the table Louise had set, both of them standing on Louise's right and left sides. Louise pulls out a large sheet of blueprints and lays them flat on the table

"Twins, behold, a plan I like to call 'Louise's Full-Proof Plan to Get Back at Jimmy Jr Pesto, Emphasis on Pest'" Louise says, admiring her blueprints

"Wow, that's a long title" Ollie says, staring at the long title written on her blue print sheet

"I spent 1st period, 2nd period, 3rd period, all the way through 8th period devising this, and boy am I happy with these results" Louise mischievously says, rubbing her palms together

From the looks of it, Louise's plan didn't exactly look "fool-proof", as it was mostly made up of crude drawings and terrible handwriting. But Louise knew what she was doing, trust me

"You see, the plan starts right here" She points her index finger at her very first "diagram" "I'll come into Jimmy Pesto's pizzeria as any normal customer requesting some of their quality pizza" She moves her finger over to the next objective "That's when Andy will go by himself and-"

"Go by myself?" Andy asks "But I can't go anywhere without Ollie!"

"Yeah! Andy can't go anywhere without me!" Ollie says "Can we please got together? Please?"

Louise realized they weren't going to get anywhere if she didn't give in to their request "Ugh, ok, fine... You and Ollie will go downstairs and distract Jimmy Jr" She scribbles out her old plan "Then I'll- ... Wait no.. That might not work. Maybe if I just move this over here..." She begins rearranging some of the parts in her plan "Ok. So here's the final plan. After you distract your brother-"

"Wait, I thought we were distracting Jimmy Jr. Not Ollie" Andy asks

Louise lets out an excruciatingly loud groan "You **_ARE_** distracting god damn Jimmy Jr! So while I wait for my pizza, I'll swoop in, and-"

Louise's overview of the plan is then cut off by the sound of Tina's crying from upstairs, making it very difficult to actually concentrate. It wasn't as much as it was irritating, but more that she didn't enjoy listening to Tina's agonizing cries

She inhales sharply "Just ignore it, Louise..." She murmurs to herself

"Hey, Louise! While we're distracting Jimmy Jr, can me and Ollie tie our hands and legs together?" Andy asks

"Yeah! Yeah! And in stead of distracting Jimmy Jr, can we be playing video games together?" Ollie asks

" _ **With**_ our hands tied!" Andy says

"Yeah! Definitely!" Ollie agrees

"What the hell? No! That destroys the whole purpose of the plan!" Louise blurts "We're a mess right now, guys! Can't you brainstorm some new ideas? Please?"

"Brainstorm...?" The two say in an unsure tone

"There isn't a storm in my brain. In fact, it's a nice sunny day in there!" Ollie says

Andy gasps "So is mine!" The two brothers begin laughing and laughing, just like they usually did

Louise facepalms, as she could only tolerate so much at a time "We... Are hopeless..." Louise groans, and she was right. At this rate, they wouldn't be able to come up with a convincing plan until next Christmas. If she really wanted to get revenge on Pesto, she needed professional help. Someone sneaky, someone clever, someone like... No! Not him, anyone but him!

Louise shook her head and rubbed her temples at just the thought of asking... _him_ for help. But at this point, it almost seemed like she had no choice. She lets out a deep sigh and walks over to the basement's landline telephone. She picks up the phone and pulls out a crumbled slip of paper with a phone number. She stared at it intently as she slowly dialed in the numbers on the keypad. The phone rang for a few good seconds, and after about 3 or so rings, the person answered

"Hello?"

"Hey, I need your help, no questions asked. Where can we meet up?"

The mysteriously individual on the other line easily recognized Louise's voice and smugly smiled to themselves when hearing it

"Ok, here's the address you can meet me at, don't take too long"

Louise jots down the numbers and words the person shoots at her, and after she finished, she responds

"Got it. See you later"

And with that last statement, she hung up and placed the phone back in the landline's slot

"Ollie, Andy, come on. We're hitting the road" Louise says

"Cool! Should we bring hammers?" Andy asks

"Yeah! That'll make hitting the road **_way_** easier!" Ollie adds

"Just follow me, and don't you dare say anything to jeapordize it until we leave the house" Louise instructs, grabbing the two's hands like toddlers

She heads back upstairs, where Bob is still showing Gene the ropes of the grills

"Now, Gene. You use _this_ switch to turn on the grill" Bob says, rotating one of the grill's switches

"Is it on?" Gene asks

"Yup" Bob answers

"Then why don't I see any fire?" Gene asks

"Because this grill doesn't **_have_** fire" Bob explains

"It had fire all those times it lit on fire" Gene says, which to Bob rolls his eyes at "Let me just touch it to see!" Gene says, slowly reaching his finger towards the grill

Before Bob could warn him to stop, Gene's index finger hit the grill, causing Gene to let out a light scream of pain

"AH!" He exclaims, pulling his hand back. His fingertip was bursting with red, and you can only imagine the pain he was in

"Gene! Why the hell did you touch it?!" Bob fumes "I figured you'd learned from the time you touched the iron... Last week..."

Louise slowly shifts across the restaurant with Ollie and Andy, trying her best no to make a sound. Though, at the pace she was going, it was gonna take her 15 minutes to get halfway across the restaurant. Louise tried to speed up her pace a bit which made things go somewhat faster, but when she least expected it, her escape is cut short

"Louise? Is that you out there?" Bob asks from the kitchen

She stands completely still, not making a sound

"AHH! LOUISE! WE'VE BEEN SPOTTED!" Andy shrieks, throwing up his hands and screaming along with his brother

Bob peers his head out of the window separating the kitchen and the restaurant's lobby "Louise, where are you going...?" Bob asks

"Dammit..." Louise mutters under her breath "Well, me and the twins were just going to _their_ place to do our homework" Louise lies

"But... You said you were doing it here" Bob says

"W-Well, we were... But it's... Uh... Too cold in here!" Louise says

"Ok then, we can higher the temperature" Bob offers "Let me just go to the thermostat-"

"NO! W-We just didn't want to bother you and Gene! You guys seem really busy!" Louise fibs, trying to keep her composure

"Trust me, the way things are looking, we aren't getting anywhere. Besides, you guys aren't bothering us" Bob says

Louise facepalms "It's just that... The Pesto's place is a _much_ better learning environment, you know?"

"Oh, it _is_?" Bob asks, seeing this as competition "This place can be a better learning environment. I can get you anything you guys need, pencils, paper, new furniture, _anything_ you need. Just ask-"

Apparently, the 3 had already took off and were far from the restaurant at this point, much to Bob's annoyance

"Oh my gosh... Why am I _not_ surprised?" Bob groans

"Hey, Dad? Are we **_really_** sure the grill's on? Because I can touch it again, no question" Gene says from the kitchen

"No, Gene, don't-" Bob begins, but as soon as he hears another one of Gene's shrieks, he knows it's too late "Ugh..."

* * *

"Louise, why aren't we going to me and Andy's house like you said?" Ollie asks

Louise raises her eyebrow at his stupidity "Ollie, would I really be stupid enough to devise a plan to get revenge on Jimmy Jr **_at his HOUSE?!_** That's the equivalent of building a bomb you were gonna plant on someone's house at said person's house"

"So where _are_ we going?" Andy asks, as Louise continues leading them

"To our answers" Louise replies, looking back down at the address "Don't worry, boys. It isn't too far from here, just a few more steps. And then, Jimmy Jr will be bathing in regret and tears"

Andy and Ollie look at each other with confused glances, but just shrug it off and go along with Louise

 ** _5 Minutes Later_**

"See! I told you I could fit your whole fist in my mouth!" Ollie says, removing his brother's saliva-covered fist from his mouth

"Well I bet I could fit your whole fist in my mouth!" Andy bets, grabbing his brother's arm as he attempted to shove it through his lips

"Would you guys quit that?" A disgusted Louise says, grabbing Ollie's fist and placing it back to his side "Besides, I think we're here"

Louise takes another gander at the address while walking forward simultaneously "Yup, this is the place"

The three realized that they were now in front of a house, a house that looked vaguely familiar to Louise

"Come on, guys" Louise says, walking to towards the house with the Pesto's. As they come closer, they get a much better glimpse at the house, and are met with a surprise guest, the same person who led Louise to this place

"Logan"

"Louise"

The two traded simple greetings, seeing as they both weren't that keen on making actual dialogue with each other

Logan Bush was standing on his porch with his back on the house's exterior and on foot bent over to also recline on said exterior. He had his arms crossed and something in his mouth, which nearly resembled that of a cigarette

"Are you... Smoking?" Louise asks

"Me? Smoke? Never. This is a toothpick, kid" Logan replies, spitting out the wooden toothpick and showing it to her. He puts it back in his mouth and then gives Louise a sly glance "I knew you'd use that number"

"Ugh. I only used it out of desperation. You were my last resort, I called like, 10 other people but they weren't free" Louise lies, rolling her eyes

"No, you didn't. I thought you just called him?" Ollie asks, but he's soon met with a harsh punch in the shoulder from Louise

"Would you shut your big mouth, Ollie?!" Louise shrieks angrily

Logan chuckles at her misfortune "Ha, so I _was_ your first choice, huh, Four Ears?"

"Ugh, I **_told_** you not to call me that. Unless, of course, you **_don't_** treasure your precious limbs" Louise threatens, cracking her knuckles

"Trust me, I'm happy with them" Logan claims, putting his hands to his chest defensively "Anyways, what did you need my help for, squirt?"

"First of all, don't call me 'squirt', or the only thing squirting from you will be your innards" Louise hisses "Second, I need to get revenge on some asshole, and I figured you could help"

"Well, lucky for you, you picked just the man for the job" Logan says "Come inside and we can discuss this in more detail" He reaches for his house's door knob and holds it open for them. He then holds his palm out in front of it and looks at Louise "Ladies first" He smirks

"Oh, then I guess you should go in" Louise jeers, holding her hand out in the same exact fashion as Logan did

"Pssh, would you just get in, rabbit?" Logan orders

"Hmph" Louise mutters, shoving Logan as she walked into his house. Andy and Ollie followed close behind and as soon everyone was in, Logan entered and shut the door

"Welcome to _Casa De Logan_!" Logan says, holding his arms out for dramatic effect

"More like _Casa De Loser_..." Louise murmurs

"We'll be able to work on your little revenge plan in privacy, since my dad's at the hospital working and my mom's basically passed out drunk upstairs from her latest "Zinfandel marathon". She says she drinks to cope or some crap like that"

"Wait, you still live with your parents?" Louise exclaims, right before snickering like a child "Why am I _not_ surprised..."

"Hey, clam it. Living with parents like mine is the life, they don't care about anything now that they're all old and junk. It's basically like living on my own, just with someone else to blame for my wrongdoings" Logan proudly says "Let me show you guys around"

The group starts walking again and end up in the Bush living room. They're met with a worn out sofa, beige carpeting, an old 1990's television set, and a coffee table, cluttered with miscellaneous items. Needless to say, they weren't exactly keeping up with the place

"Wow, this place is garbage..." Louise says

"That's just because you're too used to living the high life. _I_ actually take advantage of the little I get" Logan claims, laying down on his torn sofa

"Logan, I sleep in a walk in closet. I _wish_ I lived the high life" Louise claims, crossing her arms

While Louise and Logan busied themselves with their convo, Ollie and Andy tried to entertain themselves. As they look through the unorganized table, they both spot a slender, pink, phallic-looking object. It had two buttons, one which read "Vibrate" and the other which read "Off". I'm sure by now, you've guessed what it was, but the twins seemed completely oblivious

"Cool! Andy! Check out this sword!" Ollie says in awe

"Woah! That's awesome! Lemme see it!" Andy begs, and Ollie willingly hands it over to him

Andy begins waving the object around like an actual sword, even making "wooshing" sound effects as he does it

"This is amazing!" Andy says

Logan notices the two playing with the... "sword" and quickly snatches it from them

"Hey! Give us our sword back!" Ollie demands

"Yeah, finders keepers!" Andy adds

"Dudes, this isn't a sword..." Logan explains

"Then what is it?" Ollie asks

"You... Don't wanna know..." Logan chuckles, putting it back in it's rightful place "Now how about we head downstairs and get this over with?"

"Gladly, I never even wanted to come here in the first place" Louise says, as they all walk off to head to the basement

"Let's not forget who called who, kid" Logan smirks

Louise, with nothing to retaliate with, simply rolls her eyes as usual. They finally reach the staircase which leads to the basement and walk down it, entering their basement. And if you thought their living room was crowded with junk, you haven't seen anything yet

There were magazines, newspapers, dirty dish towels, clothes, you name it, and there was an unusual amount of boxes stacked around the place, full of Salvation Army donations, such as old clothes and worthless items. The place seemed a bit too crowded for a house of 3

Louise, Ollie, and Andy were having a hard time trying to get through it all, but Logan seemed to have no problem. Once the 3 finally got past the tornado of old scrapbooks and newspapers from the 80's, they met up with Logan in the center of the room. He had scattered all of the clutter to the sides and creates a small spacious area for them to sit at

"Ok, everyone, in a circle" Logan says, guiding everyone to where they were sitting. They formed a "square" sort of formation, with Logan and Louise sitting next to each other on one side and the twins sitting by each other on the other side. They left a large space in the middle of them

"Ok, let's get started" Logan says "Do you guys have any preliminary plans? Because you must have a plan already, unless Louise here didn't think of one, which I wouldn't be surprised at"

"Actually, Logan. I _do_ have a plan, thank you very much" Louise shoots back "And I'm sure it's much better than anything _you_ could've come up with" She pulls out her rolled up blueprints from her hood and lays them in the center of the circle "Here you go, read it and weep"

Logan examines the plans closely for a while "Hmm..." He pulls the blueprints a bit closer to his face and moves his fingers along the sheet, trying his best to understand the plan. After a minute of close examination, he puts it back down on the floor

"So what did you think? It's pretty full proof, right?" Louise asks

"Not really. In fact, not at all. You're pretty inexperienced with these things, aren't you?" Logan asks

Louise's eyes grow whilst her pupils constrict. One eye begins twitching rapidly, as she tries her best not to get angry "What do you mean?" She solemnly says with a stern face

Logan, noticing her obvious anger, decides to try to take advantage of it. He smirks "I mean it's just ridiculous. How long did it take to come up with this? Like, 5 minutes tops"

"Oh my _**gosh**_ , did you even fricking read it?!" Louise blurts out, unable to contain all of her leaking rage

"Pfft, no. But from the looks of it, I can already tell it's awful" Logan says, snickering "Could you please explain it, without your sad excuse for drawings?"

Louise snatches the blueprints from Logan fast enough to give him an easy papercut. She lays it back in the middle of the "circle-square" and starts explaining

"So first, I'll order a pizza in order to distract Jimmy Jr's father. While I'm doing that, the twins, Andy and Ollie, will distract Jimmy Jr for me. When he least expects it, I'll throw a sack over him, and the three of us will run off to the wharf's bay and drown him. Simple"

"Ohhh! So that's what it said!" Andy says

"We thought you were gonna turn Jimmy Jr into a sack and let him swim with the dolphins. You're not a very good artist" Ollie says

"See? Even your little friends agree" Logan says "Besides, this plan will never work. Why would you kidnap the kid in front of all of those customers? Surely one of them's gonna see. And we are **_not_** going to drown some teenager"

"Hmph, fine. Can you give us a 'better' plan?" Louise asks, crossing her arms

"With pleasure" Logan replies. He reaches across the scattered floor for a red permanent marker and pops it open. He begins drawing over Louise's original plans

"Ok, so here's how the first part of our plan will go. I'll be casually waiting outside of the pizzeria like any normal pedestrian, waiting for part 2 of the plan. Louise, like in the original plan, will be ordering pizza to distract the owner-"

"Ha! I knew you liked my plan!" Louise screams "Not that I care about your opinion or anything"

"That's, like, the only part of the plan I agreed with, Loser-ise" Logan taunts. A 20 year old that still resorts to using grade school insults on a freshmen? It _was_ Logan anyways "Anyways, while Louise is ordering her 'pizza', the Weasley twins will lure their brother outside. Once they give the proper signal, Louise will follow close behind, and that's when part 2 begins. Once everyone's out, I'll chloroform the kid until he passes out. That's when we'll all drag him to the nearest alley, and strip him down. Sound good?"

"That sounds ridiculous. Wasn't any better than my plan if you ask me" Louise says "So I can't drown him, but hitting him with chloroform's fine?"

"I've chloroformed tons of people, it's not a big deal. At least I won't be killing them" Logan responds

"And why are we stripping him? What, do you get pleasure from seeing minors naked? Huh? Do you, Logan? Do you?" Louise urges

"You just **_had_** to make it seem weird, didn't you?" Logan says "Besides, you're being a hypocrite. I bet you picture me naked all the time, Four Ears"

Louise turns bright red, causing her to become flustered "Where the hell did you get that idea from, you creep?!"

"You're not denying it" Logan leers, as Louise's scarlet color only deepens "I think my plan's great. Maybe we should change this..." He takes his marker and begins scribbling Louise's name out of her title, and proceeds to write his name over it "I present to you, ' ** _Logan's_** Full-Proof Plan to Get Back at Jimmy Jr Pesto, Emphasis on Pest'"

"I swear to _god_ , Logan" Louise hisses

"If I remember correctly, you asked me to come and help you with your plan. So how about you quit being so stubborn and take my ideas into account? Eh?" Logan asks, now resting his arm on his lifted knee

Louise rolls her eyes "Ok, let's have a vote. Andy, Ollie, who's plan do you like better? My well-thought out, creative, tactful, and conniving plan, or Logan's"

"Yeah, dudes. My plan's much better, right?" Logan asks

"Don't mind him, just choose whoever's makes more sense" Louise says "It's mine, by the way..." She whispers

"I pick Andy's!" Ollie chimes

"I pick Ollie's!" Andy chimes, and the two share a high five

Louise and Logan switch confused glances

"Are they usually this stupid?" Logan whispers to her

"It's best to just go along with it until they wear themselves out" Louise whispers back

Logan takes the plan prints and shoves them to the side "Maybe we should take a break" Logan suggests. He removes his arm from his knee and reclines his palms on the floor whilst holding his back upright with his legs bent in sitting position

"So, why do you wanna get revenge on this guy anyways?" Logan asks "Did he steal your lunch money or somethin'? Heh" He smirks

Louise gives him a devilish squint "No" She simply says

"Then why?"

"That bastard broke my sister's heart just like that. And on her birthday, too" Louise explains, looking down

That was strange. Louise was known for only caring about herself, Logan wasn't used to seeing her fend for someone else. I guess she did have a heart behind her cold demeanor

"Hm, so you are a softie" Logan leers, nudging her

"I'm not. I just..." Louise trails off, avoiding eye contact. She starts to say something, but it becomes more incoherent as she goes on

"Huh? What was that?" Logan teases, pressing his ear closer to Louise

"Ugh... I just... _Really ca..._ " Louise began trailing off silently again

"Hm? You're gonna have to speak up, kid" He taunts

"Ugh! I just really care about Tina!" Louise blurts out "She's my older sister and all, but... Sometimes, I can't help but feel really bad for her"

Logan raised his eyebrow, his eyes grew in shock. There was a whole other side to Louise Logan had no idea about. She seemed to genuinely care for someone that wasn't her, possibly even more than she cared for herself

"Yeah, yeah. Laugh all you want, I couldn't care less..." Louise mumbles

Logan's careless reserved expression, actually became a genuine smile "You're lucky I'm in a good mood today, cottontail. Or I would've punked the hell out of you for that" He gives her a friendly jab to the shoulder "It's kind of nice that you care about your sister..."

Louise cold stare turned into a neutral expression "Erm... Thanks...?" Louise wasn't too fond on "bonding" moments like these, if you could even _call_ it bonding

Logan keeps his relaxed smile and looks back at the blueprints. They were a mess. Covered with silly doodles and nasty handwriting, the whole thing looked like some kind of joke. He picked it up and looked at the plan again. Louise really _was_ prepared for all of this, she just wanted to help her sister. He looks up from the prints to look at Louise, who's looking down at the floor, with her legs folded

"Hey" Logan says, causing Louise to look up and pay heed to him. He was holding the blueprints out at her "You can... Keep your original plan if you want, I guess..."

Louise looks at the large cobalt sheet, not taking it from him, but just staring

"But... Do you really wanna go through with this whole thing?" Logan asks "You can just call it off now. Honestly, it'd be the right thing to do"

Louise begins to appear anxious, and slowly takes the paper from Logan, without snatching it. She looks at the plans and holds them out in front of her. That's when, without warning, she rips it. _Right in half_

"You know what? He isn't even worth it" Louise says, holding the torn parts of the paper and dropping it solemnly

Logan watched the paper slowly drift to the ground. As it landed, he looked back at Louise, who looked angry

"Good on you, kid" Logan says, with a sly grin

"Whatever..." Louise mutters, looking away. As her eyes drifted, she faced the small window in their basement. It looked rather dim outside, as if it was becoming evening. She fumbles through her pockets for her watch and pulls it out. It read _6:30 PM_

"Oh, crap. I've gotta get home" Louise says, standing up from her place

"Oh, so you have a curfew? How adorable" Logan smirks

Louise ignores his remark "Andy and Ollie, we've gotta go"

"Ok!" Andy says, lifting himself up

"I'll walk you guys outside" Logan offers, standing up

"I'm 14, not 4. I can walk out myself, thank you very much" Louise says, as she continues walking

"You don't have to be so harsh. Besides, I need to keep watch for my parents, anyways" Logan says

Louise sighs "Whatever. Go check"

Logan slowly creeps up the stairs to his living room. He looks around for a while for either of his parents, and luckily, neither were present

"The coast is clear" Logan assures them from upstairs

Louise calls the twins over with a simple hand gesture, and they follow behind her. The 3 slowly creep up the stairs to the empty living room. Logan turns the knob of his door and opens it for them, hurrying the 3 to exit before his parents did happen to come

As soon as they were all outside, Logan shut the door behind him, as he was now on his porch

"See you guys, later" Logan waves as they walk back home

While walking, Louise stops and grabs both of the twins arms to let them stop in their place also. She turns around to look at Logan with a displeased face

"Just so you know, we aren't friends now. No where near" Louise clarifies

"Sure, sweetheart" Logan says, rolling his arms. He plucks out another wooden toothpick from his pocket and places it between his teeth "Don't you have somewhere to be? Like, home?"

Before turning back, Louise gives him one more aggravated glance. Then she keeps walking

"Hurry up, guys. We still have some time to get back home without anyone being _too_ suspicious" Louise says

"Hey, Louise! Did you know they had newspapers in there from the 1980's!" Ollie shrieks

"I didn't even **_know_** there was a 19's!" Andy adds

Louise didn't have time to scold them for their silly remarks, for she wasn't in the mood, at all

* * *

Things weren't looking any better at the restaurant. Bob had pretty much given up hope on teaching Gene, so he just let him play video games like he wanted to in the first place. No one else in the house felt like talking either, and they didn't get much business today. And yes, Tina was still in her room, crying

Bob stood out her door waiting. He wasn't waiting for her to open it or anything, he was waiting on himself

Linda peeked her head out of her and Bob's bedroom to see Bob standing there "Bob, are you still standing there? What are you waiting for?!"

"I just don't think I should go in there... Are you sure this will work?" Bob asks anxiously

"For the last time, Bob, this _will_ work. When have I ever been wrong?" Linda asks

"It's best I don't answer that" Bob states

"Would you just get in there?" Linda orders "Before it's too late"

Bob looks back at Tina's bedroom door. The dark shade was emerging from under her door, showing that she still had the light off. Bob turned back to Linda, who gestured him to go in. Bob gulps and inhales, he then knocks at Tina's door "Tina? It's your dad"

Tina disregarded his calls

Bob, realizing that knocking was getting him nowhere, decided to take matters into his own hands. He opened her door, causing the hallway light to enter Tina's room. As she was too adjusted to the dark, she closed her eyes sharply and removed her glasses. She wiped off her eyes and looked up at her father. Due to her impaired vision, he appeared blurry

"Tina?" Bob says, tapping her shoulder. Her eyes were locked on Bob, trying to get a good glimpse at him. She put her glasses back on and finally saw him better. Realizing who it was, she covered her face with her hands

"Go away" She mutters

"Come on, Tina. I just want to talk to you, please?" Bob asks

She ignored him, and kept her face buried

Bob sighs, and sits next to her on her bed. He uses his index finger to lift her chin up so she was facing him. Her hands fell back to her sides as she looked at her father. She looked sad rather than irritated, as if she was about to start crying again

"Tina, you know I hate seeing you sad" Bob says, putting his arm around her "And you have no reason to be sad"

"What are you talking about? I have every reason to be sad!" Tina blurts out, now angry. Her emotions were were out of control

Bob has had his heartbroken many times as a child. There was Becky from middle school, and Barbara Bunkley, just to name a few. So he knew what Tina was going through

"But think of who you're crying over, Tina. Jimmy Jr, he isn't even worth it" Bob says "Just think, here you are, crying over him and there he is at home, acting like nothing happened. Don't waste your energy on him"

Tina sniffs, trying her best to hold back her tears "I... Guess..."

She seemed to be catching on to what Bob was saying. He pulled her closer to him with his arm

"Tina, I'm gonna be completely honest with you right now, I didn't want you to go talk to Jimmy Jr at your party because... I didn't want this to happen" Bob says "It was sort of obvious the affection wasn't mutual, and I guess it was my fault for not telling you straightforward. I just didn't want to break your heart, but by waiting, I just made things worse... I'm sorry..."

Tina looked back at Bob, he looked distraught. Now he was covering his face, he felt like an idiot. Tina put her arm around him, and pulled him closer, just as he did

"It's ok, Dad" Tina says. Bob lifts his face from his hands and looks at Tina. She wasn't smiling, but at least she wasn't crying

"You're a beautiful girl, you know that, Tina?" Bob says "Jimmy Jr doesn't know what he's missing"

Tina didn't respond, mostly because she didn't know how

"Tina, you're still young. You have so many more years to find love. Your soulmate's somewhere out there. Do you think your mother was my first love?"

"Well... No..."

"There are plenty fish in the sea, Tina, and there's one that can see your true beauty, you'll just have to wait to find them. Jimmy Jr is one of millions of potential soulmates"

"But... How will I know who that person is?"

"Trust me, you'll find them" Bob promises "And even if you don't, you'll always have us"

Tina stares at Bob, and actually begins tearing up again

"Tina, I told you not to cry. It's ok" Bob says

But Tina actually began... Smiling. For the first time since Friday. And without any warning, she lunged herself onto Bob with a hug. Tears were falling down her cheeks

"I love you, Dad" She says, still grasping onto Bob

Bob was confused, but he wasn't about to ask anymore questions. He returned the hug "I love you more, Tina"

She kept hugging him, she didn't want to let go at all, and Bob didn't either

Linda slowly peeked her head into Tina's bedroom to see what was going on. She was surprised to see the two hugging, and it seemed like they were so absorbed into each other, as neither of them noticed Linda. Linda beams. She assumed Bob was able to get to her. She quietly left, leaving the door creaked open

The father and daughter had been hugging in silence for a good minute, and Bob finally let go. Tina had a big smile on her face as if she wasn't just crying her eyes out, and Bob smiled back

"Listen, I've gotta go check if your sister's home" Bob says, getting up from her bed. Before leaving, he planted a quick kiss on Tina's cheek, only making her smile even more. After, Bob headed for Tina's door and left the room. While heading downstairs Bob runs into Linda, who was standing outside of her bedroom door

"So how did it go?" She asks, grinning

"It went fine. I think Tina's feeling much better" Bob replies

"I knew you could do it, Bobby" Linda says, hugging her husband. He returns the affection without hesitation. It looked like things **_were_** turning upside down in the Belcher household

Meanwhile, Louise was on her way back home. She frantically ran towards Bob's Burgers' glass door and looked through it, to check if the coast was clear. No one was downstairs in the lobby, so while it was clear, she quickly made her way in there, silently closing the door. She was just on her way to her bedroom when Bob came downstairs at that exact moment

"Oh, hey, Louise" Bob greets

"Uh... Hey" Louise silently replies, looking away

"How was homework with the Pesto twins?" Bob asks

"It was- Uh... Nice, I guess" Louise says

Bob gives her a strange glance. He still wasn't sure if she was ok, like she claimed this morning "So... I'm assuming you've been here for a good while, and you _didn't_ just get here?"

"Y-Yeah, of course.." Louise mutters. In an anxious attempt to change the subject, Louise asks, "So, how's Tina?" She braced herself. She didn't want to hear the anticipated bad news, but she was wrong

"Actually, she's doing much better" Bob reassures Louise "You can go see her now, if you want. The night's still young"

Externally, Louise looked somewhat neutral at the news, but internally, she was ecstatic. The satisfaction of hearing those words was incredible, but she had to play it off "Oh, ok" She simply says "Well, thanks for letting me know"

She slowly walked up the stairs and Bob kept a close eye on her as she did. He knew something was up, but knowing Louise, it was best to let her deal with it herself. She didn't appreciate others interfering with her personal problems

Louise kept on walking, and finally made it upstairs. She passed the kitchen and made it to the bedroom hallway, but in stead of heading towards Tina's room, she turned to go to Gene's

Before entering, she lightly knocked at his door

"Come in!" Gene calls out from inside

Louise opens his door without stepping in. As per mentioned, he was playing video games. Gene laid on his bed, holding a handheld console and playing it

"Oh, hey Louise!" Gene says, without taking his eyes off his game

"Gene, could you pause that game?" Louise asks

Gene reached his thumb for the "pause" button on his console and sat up on his bed to look at Louise "Yeah?" He says

Before cutting to the chase, Louise looks at the game Gene was just playing "Where did you get that from?" She asks

"What are you talking about?" Gene asks

"Gene, we can't afford to get a clothes dryer, how do you expect me to believe that Dad bought you a video game?" Louise says, unconvinced

"Well, Darryl gave it to me. He said he didn't need it anymore since he already got the latest model" Gene explains

"Hm, ok" Louise says, satisfied with his answer "Anyways, Dad just told me that Tina's doing better. Do you wanna go and see her?"

Gene grins and nods "Of course" He says

* * *

Tina had finally turned her lights back on, and it really _brightened_ up the room _***cue cheesy laughter here***_

She had even managed to clean up the place since her breakdown. More importantly, she cleaned herself up. She was sitting up on her bed, not really doing much to anything. She wasn't sure what to do now. She definitely wasn't planning on crying again, but she just wasn't in the mood to do anything. Tina fiddled with her fingers, waiting for something, _anything_ , to happen

She looked around her room, she liked the new look. It made her feel much happier, but it _was_ getting late, and she needed to get to school tomorrow, not to mention that she was getting tired, so she decided to get some shut-eye. Much too sleepy to change into her pajamas, she rested herself on her bed, facing her mantel as usual

While looking towards it, she noticed something. She took it and realized it was the same picture of Jimmy Jr she was crying over this morning. Tina stared at the picture, emotionless. I'm sure you'd expect her to start crying again? But she didn't. In fact, she tore it. _Right in half_

"He isn't even worth it" Tina says, letting go of the two torn pieces. She sighs in relief, it felt like she had lifted a huge weight off her shoulder

Just then, she heard a knock at her door

"Come in" She quietly says from inside

Louise creaks open her door. As Gene was just about to walk in, Louise stops him "Tina?"

"Yeah?"" She replies

"Are you ok?" Louise asks

"... Yeah" Tina says "You can come in"

Louise fully opened her door and her and her brother entered the room. They both stood in front of Tina

"So... How are you handling?" Gene asks

"Guys, I'm fine" Tina assures them "But thanks for caring. Even you, Louise"

Gene looks over at his little sister and smiles, while she blushes "Care? I didn't- I mean, I don't care..." Louise "nonchalantly" says, trying to play it off

Louise looks back over at Tina, and she was smiling too, as if she saw through Louise's ruse

"But... I _am_ glad you're feeling better" Louise admits with a timid smile

"Thanks. I guess I should learn to worry myself about more important things" Tina sighs

"Good for you" Louise says, walking closer to Tina

It got pretty silent after that, but leave it to Gene to break the silence

"Group hug!" He exclaims, as he pulls his sisters in for a big hug. Tina gladly returned the favor, but Louise was sandwiched in the middle and slightly irritated

"Ok! Ok! That's enough hugging!" Louise hisses, lightly pushing Gene and Tina away from her. When the hug ended, Louise began tugging on Gene's arm. He looked over at her and she begins mouthing some words, as her eyes shifted to Tina. Gene starts to get the idea and nods his head in response

"Tina?" Louise says

"Yeah?" She replies

"If I remember correctly, we didn't give you your birthday present yet!" Gene winks

"Huh? Oh, that's true" Tina says

"And I think it's best we show you now. Y'know, before you fall into _another_ emotional mess" Louise says

"Oh, ok" Tina says "Where is it?"

"It's a surprise!" Gene says. He pulls out a wide, yet minuscule white cloth. It was supposed to be a blindfold "Here, put this on"

Tina takes the blindfold and removes her glasses. She ties it around her eyes and puts her glasses over it, similar to the way she did in the episode _"Sexy Dance Fighting"_

"Ok, follow me" Louise says

"I'll guide you Tina! Just follow my lead" Gene says, placing his palms over her shoulders

"You two stay here, I'll check if anyone's downstairs" Louise says. She quietly exits Tina's room and creeps downstairs. The lights in the restaurant were all shut off, signaling that it was clear. Louise rushes back upstairs and gestures them to come downstairs

Gene wasn't very good at directing Tina downstairs, as he was very clumsy and would constantly bump her into something unintentionally, delivering some "ows" and "oofs" from Tina's lips

After Gene had managed to get Tina downstairs, Louise quickly shot open the door so the creaking sound wouldn't be audible. She swiftly exited through and Gene walked Tina through the door, but not without accidentally letting it hit her on the way out

When Tina made it outside, she noticed a gold breeze hitting her "Wait, are we outside?" She asks

"Yep" Gene replies

She gasps "Guys, what if Mom and Dad notice we aren't upstairs? Not to mention that it's so late, and we have school tomorrow-"

"Tina, it's 8:45, stop panicking" Louise says "Besides, the place we're going to isn't too far from here"

"Why is my present outside anyways? Couldn't you have just kept it at our house?" Tina asks

"Not necessarily" Gene says

"Ooh, mysterious. I love a good mystery" Tina adds

So after a good 20 minutes of walking and, in Tina's case, hitting various objects _whilst_ walking, they finally made it to the wharf's pasture

"Are we there yet?" Tina asks "I think my head's about to split open..."

"Yup!" Gene answers. He removes her glasses and takes off her blindfold

Tina takes her glasses back from him and wears them. The view becomes much more clear, and she notices that they were standing outside of the pasture. They would've entered the field, but it looked like no one was there, and the gate surrounding the space was locked

"What are we doing in front of this horse pasture?" Tina asks

"Because, that's where your present is" Louise says

"You mean..." Tina mutters, trying to contemplate what they were implying. She gasps

"We got you a horse!" Gene and Louise scream in unison

Tina still looked shocked "Like... A glass horse?" She asks

"No, bonehead. A _real_ horse" Louise smiles, crossing her arms

Tina gasps again, except this one is held out much longer. She stood there, completely frozen with her mouth gaped wide open

Gene and Louise look at her, and then at each other, confused

"Um... Tina?" Gene says, poking her "Are you-"

And before he could even finish, Tina pulled them both in for a huge hug. She clutched onto them for her life and almost felt like crying again. Except, tears of joy

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Tina repeated, still hugging them

She was hugging the two so hard, even Gene, the person who enjoyed embrace and affection the most out of his family, could barely handle it, and he looked like he was about to pass out, ditto for Louise

When Tina finally released them both, she anxiously ran up to the fence and pressed herself against it, eagerly looking around "Where is it? Is it here? What color is it? How big is it?" She spewed all of her questions without even taking a break to breathe

"Woah, chill out, Tina" Louise says "It has a tag with your name on it, so it shouldn't be too long till we find-"

Tina swiftly points out the horse "Is it that one? Is it, is it?"

Gene and Louise take a look at the horse, and they easily recognized it, what with the peculiar black and white coloring

"Yeah, that's it" Gene says "Its name is Almonds"

Almonds lifts her head up from the grass and faces the Belchers. As Tina gestures her to come over, she slowly trots over to the edge of the fence, where Tina, Louise, and Gene were standing

"H-Hi..." Tina nervously says, with a crooked smile

Almonds looks at Tina with a blank expression

"I'm... Tina" Tina greets, holding her hand out, possibly for a hand shake. Or, in her case, a _hoof_ shake

Almonds looks down at Tina's hand and begins licking it, almost like a cat

In stead of moving her hand away like any person would, Tina keeps it there, and smiles at Almonds

"Remind me to never shake _that_ hand" Louise whispers to Gene

After Almonds finished salivating Tina's palm, she slightly lifts her head up to look directly at Tina. She neighs at Tina

Tina gasps "Do you think she's trying to tell me something?" Tina asks

Louise rolls her eyes "I don't know, horse whisperer. What do _you_ think?" She asks sarcastically

"I think she's wishing my happy birthday. Well, happy late birthday, to be specific" Tina says "Aren't you, Almonds?"

Almonds neighs back at Tina, and she gasps again

"I think she said 'Yes'" Tina smiles

Louise rolls her eyes playfully "Jeez, you're so weird Tina... Happy late birthday" She says with a bashful smile

Tina smiles as a reply and then looks back at Almonds. She hugs her muzzle and begins caressing her mane lightly

"I love her guys, thank you" Tina says happily

"It was no problem. Was this your favorite present?" Gene asks

"Yes! Of course!" Tina blurts

"Ha! Up yours, Mom and Dad!" Louise says, cackling

Tina continues hugging onto Almonds as if she was her child "Best birthday ever" Tina sighs

* * *

 **I hope you all liked this chapter! :)**


	8. Coming Out of Your Shell

Disclaimer - The rights to Bob's Burgers and its characters belong to Loren Bouchard, Bento Box Entertainment, and any others associated with the show. No profit is being made by this fanfiction, this is all just for fun :)

 **Finally, the chapter where my OC from Chapter 2, Dakota, returns! :D Despite how self-centered it sounds, I've been longing for the chapter for a while now, I really missed writing her. And now that we have a whole chapter centered around her, I think I'll be able to get more of her character out. I hope you all enjoy!**

 **(A/N: I wrote these chapters between a LONG gap period (I think I started in late August and continued early February...) so pardon if the writing seems very inconsistent)**

* * *

 **Bob to the Future - Chapte** **r 8: Coming Out of Your Shell**

It was early morning at Wagstaff High, in fact, class hadn't even begun yet. Some students were on their way to school, others were at their lockers, and others were just chilling out in the halls, waiting for class to start. As for the three Belcher kids, they were walking throughout the crowded halls of Wagstaff with their books. Tina had her textbooks hugged near her chest, Gene carelessly held them by his side, and Louise didn't even bother bringing hers

"Isn't it so nice today?" Tina asks her siblings with a bright smile

"Not really. There are leaves piled everywhere outside of the school" Louise comments. With autumn just beginning, the leaves were already scattering themselves around the place "What gives?"

"Yeah, Tina. You're unusually happy today, not that that's a problem" Gene adds to Louise's recent query

"It's just..." Tina began, maintaining her smile "I'm feeling so much better from a while ago. I'm not depressed anymore, and I'm ready for a new day"

"Oh, well that's good" Gene smiles "It's great you aren't crying over- ...Well, you know who" He didn't feel like mentioning _him_ at the moment

"Yeah, now that you're over that asshole, we can finally go on with our lives without the drama..." Louise groans

Tina begins silently humming to herself, as they continue to walk around the halls. Though, while walking, Tina sees something that causes her to stop humming, and smiling. Her siblings manage to spot this too and begin getting worried

They saw Jimmy Jr, no biggie. Except, he was talking to someone, and he nearly had them pinned against the locker, sort of in an amorous manner. They tried to get a better view of who he was conversing with, and they were shocked to see who it was

"Hey, Jocelyn. How's it going?" Jimmy Jr asks, keeping a cool face

"Going where...?" Jocelyn asks

He chuckles "I like your sense of humor"

"Thanks! Whatever that means" Jocelyn replies "That reminds me of the time when-"

"How about you shut up and we can go walk to homeroom together, like the sound of that?" Jimmy Jr asks, now placing his arm around Jocelyn's neck

"Sure!" She replies, happily walking off with him

Tina began frowning "Oh..." She says "So Jocelyn was the girl he said he liked..." Tina sighs

"I'm not surprised. Those two idiots are perfect for each other" Louise says "Right, Tina?" She nudges her sister, but gets no reply

She noticed that Tina was beginning to get sad again, and decided to lighten her up "Come on, Tina. Don't waste your time with a dork like Jimmy Jr. Besides, you could do so much better. He has that really annoying lisp, for one"

"Yeah... It's really cute" Tina says, sighing

"And that awful haircut. Like, gross, right?" Louise encourages, nudging her

"I thought it looked great..." Tina sighs

"And are we just gonna forget that he blew you off at your party?!" Louise shrieks aggressively

"But he has a _really_ nice butt..." Tina adds, and Louise groans in response. Sometimes, Tina was so impossible in these situations

"You'll find a boyfriend some day, Tina" Gene encourages, patting his sister on the back "He should be tall, dark, and handsome, just like your brother!" He proudly flashes his teeth

Louise rolls her eyes "If Tina happened to get a boyfriend like Gene, he'd be annoying, loud, and have the IQ of a peanut"

"What's an IQ...?" Gene asks, clueless

"Exactly my point..." Louise adds with a long winded sigh

Just then, the first bell rang, which meant the school day was starting, and all of the students began exiting the hallway

to go to their homeroom class

"Well, bye guys" Tina monotonously says, waving to her siblings "Thanks for at least _trying_ to make me feel better"

And with those last words, the three siblings depart their separate ways to their respective classrooms. But today, we'll follow Gene to his class

Gene makes his way to his homeroom, which is, if you've forgotten, history with Ms. Ramey

The door, as usual, was already propped open, and he cheerfully made his way to the back of the classroom where he sat, right in between his buddy Peter and that mysterious new girl

He gets settled into his seat and lays his books under his desk. Then, he basically sat at his desk, waiting for class to actually begin

"Hey, Gene" Peter greets "How are ya?"

"I'm great! Thanks!" Gene replies joyfully

"I just learned a new key on my recorder yesterday" Peter says, pulling out his white recorder. He begins blowing into it, but he makes sure to cover all of the holes over the woodwind, causing nothing but the sound of air to come out "I call it "Sc", y'know, since it's silent"

"Nice! I also found a new key on my keyboard!" Gene says, pulling out his blue Casio. He presses a key on his keyboard, which makes a cat purring sound effect "Do you like?"

"That's not really a... Never mind" Peter says, saving himself from another one of Gene's long and tedious claims. Peter puts his recorder back in his book bag, and while doing that, he glances over at the new girl next to him. Dakota was her name, I believe. He noticed she was quietly sitting down at her desk, looking down at it with a gloomy expression. She looked like someone had just died and kept kicking at the front of her chair. The girl was as quiet as a church mouse and didn't seem to talk to anyone at all

"Hey, Gene? Haven't you noticed that the new girl's been awfully quiet lately? Even more quiet than on the first day?" Peter whispers to Gene, hoping not to get her attention

"Which new girl?" Gene asks, despite sitting right next to her

"The one _next_ to you. Dakota" Peter explains, nudging his head over to the young lady

Gene turned to look over at her "Oh yeah... I forgot she even existed. She _**is**_ really quiet..."

He hadn't heard a single word from her since the first day, which was weeks ago. He was even kind of getting worried about her. But there was no time for that, class was just beginning

Ms. Ramey takes her place in front of the class, propping her back up against her desk behind her

"Class? Excuse me?" She firmly says, which quiets the class down. Once everyone is settled and facing her, she grins "Wonderful" She smiles to herself. She begins pulling out a sheet of paper, a rather familiar stack too

"I just graded your first written tests of the year last night" Ms. Ramey continued, showing everyone the large stack. The class knew those papers looked familiar. She got up and began passing them out to each student "Like I said at the beginning of the year, you _all_ are intelligent. It's just that some like to take advantage of that gift and toss it to the side.."

Ms. Ramey had reached Gene's sheet, and placed it on his desk in front of it. As per usual, Gene didn't score very high

"D+, Mr. Belcher?" Ms. Ramey asks, looking at him with a displeased expression "It's the start of a new year, I'd figured you'd want your first test grade to be at least _decent_ "

"What? I think I did great! D+, isn't plus supposed to be good?" Gene asks

Ms. Ramey sighs at Gene's hopelessness " _Oh my gosh..._ " She silently murmurs. She carries on with passing back the tests and walks over to Dakota's desk to pass back her test. Ms. Ramey's irritated scowl soon became a proud, cheerful grin as she handed Dakota her test

"A+, Miss Newman. Good for you" Ms. Ramey smiles at the shy girl "I'm very impressed with your intellect. You're gonna do just fine this year"

Dakota forces a nervous smile at her teacher and timidly rubbed her hands together under her desk "Th-Thanks..." She silently says

Her instructor gave her another last smile. She had one more paper left to hand out, which she did. Once her hands were empty of tests, she walked back up to the front of the classroom and took her usual place

"Good morning, class" Ms. Ramey beams "I have some great news for you guys!"

This got most of the class excited, as they began murmuring ideas to one another to what they think the news is

"I bet the surprise is that today's the last day of school!" Gene whisper-yelled to Peter

"I sincerely doubt that, Gene" Pescadero replies

"Ok, so do you guys wanna hear it?" Ms. Ramey eagerly asks, which receives several equally eager nods around the classroom

"Well, since you guys want to know _so badly_ " Ms. Ramey teases

"Stop stalling, woman! Tell us!" Gene urges, and the rest of the class joins in

"Ok! Ok!" Ms. Ramey says, barely able to contain her excitement as well "I thought a good way to kick off our first semester, would be with a class project!"

Rather anticlimactic, if you ask me. The previously excited class quickly became disappointed and annoyed. Many irritated groans arose from the classroom at her statement

"Yes, yes, I admit, it's somewhat early for this, but it's part of you kid's curriculum and as recent juniors, you should be able to handle such responsibility. Do you think in the _real_ world, they'll just hand you your Master's Degree like that?"

The class still didn't seem very satisfied with her excuse

"And... I made sure to make the project somewhat simple for the new year. So I used the easiest topic I could think of" Ms. Ramey explains "I want you all you explain how America became the great nation it is today, sounds simple enough"

That's when the class began to start lightening up to the idea of having a project this early. That was one of the most basic, simple subjects. It shouldn't be too difficult

"I thought a basic subject like the story of America would be a great, fun way to start off the brand new year, and from the looks of it, you guys seem to agree too. Hm?" Ms. Ramey asks. The class nodded "And, as it is the beginning of the year, and I trust you guys to make _smart_ decisions, this will be a partner project, and you all may choose your own partners for the assignment"

Now this **_really_** got the class excited. It was rare teachers didn't assign people their own partners for them, and now they could choose who they were gonna work with? Maybe this _was_ a start of a brand new, great year

"You may start now" Ms. Ramey concludes, awaiting her class to make their decisions

The whole class began talking over each other to their friends, decided who they were pairing up with. Possibly the only people that weren't doing this were Gene, Peter, and Dakota

"Hey, Gene!" Peter calls, tapping his friend on the shoulder "Partners?"

Gene shoots him his usual grin "Well, su-" Gene stopped himself. He would usually accept his request, seeing as the two were close friends, but before he could finish, he shifted his eyes over to Dakota. As usual, she was just sitting at her desk, silent and solitary. She looked so sad and lonely, Gene couldn't help but feel bad for her. Not to mention that she was new, so what were the chances anyone was actually gonna work with her? He sighed

"Um... Gene?" Peter asks, snapping him out of his little trance

"Huh? What?" Gene alarmingly asks

"So, do you wanna be partners or what?" Peter asks

"Well, I was kind of thinking of maybe picking a _different_ partner for the project" Gene says, shifting his pupils back over to Dakota

"Another partner..?" Peter asks, unaware of what Gene was getting at

"Well, I just thought, as a way to greet her, maybe I should partner with _Dakota_ this one time. Just as a kind gesture, y'know?" Gene asks, with a nervous smile "I really hope you don't mind..."

Gene anxiously awaited a reply from Peter. He wasn't sure if he was going to be hurt or angry, but in stead, he just sort of smirked

"Meh, it's fine, Gene. It's not like we always have to pair up on projects" Peter grins "Besides... It's about time you start talking to girls" Peter snickers, while nudging Gene

Gene obviously doesn't catch the hint, as he's pretty oblivious to this sort of stuff. He simply shrugs and goes along with it

"Don't worry, I'll just find someone else to do it with. Now you go ask the new chick" Peter assures

Gene was finally glad that _that_ was cleared up. He turned to his other side and faced Dakota. In stead of throwing paper at her, like he had done last time, he lightly tapped her on her shoulder

Having no prior knowledge of the sudden tap, Dakota was briefly alarmed, and even more confused when she had seen it was Gene

Gene waved at Dakota, maintaining a welcoming smile "Hey Kota!"

She quickly went from alarmed and nervous to slightly confused "... Excuse me?"

"Hm? Yeah?" Gene asks

"You just called me..."

"Oh, you mean Kota? It's short for Dakota! You see, how I took of the first two letters?"

"Uh... Yeah... I guess..."

Dakota really wasn't in the mood to converse at the moment, as she hoped it would be cut short soon, but too bad she was wrong. With Gene, conversations were never short

"So, do you wanna partner up for the project?" Gene asks, still keeping a polite demeanor

After hearing this, Dakota's eyes widened in shock. Someone actually wanted to be _her_ partner...? She could barely believe what she had heard, and couldn't risk messing this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity up by saying something stupid or blushing too hard

Though from the looks of it, the latter was already out the window, as she began to turn pink in the cheeks

"You... Wanna work on the project with me...?" Dakota asks, trying to clarify

"Well, yeah! That's what I said, right?" Gene chuckles

He _was_ being serious, and Dakota wasn't passing up her final chance. So she gives him a timid smile and nods "Sure" she says

"Cool!" Gene says, giving her a thumbs up. Dakota smiles back, and now that the conversation was finally over, Gene went back to minding his own business

Dakota was relieved that was over. She wasn't exactly one for conversing, especially in this new place. Though, she still couldn't believe Gene wanted to be her partner. But she didn't forget how he talked to her on the first day of school. It wasn't like they were buddies or anything, but she _did_ like his positive attitude, and he seemed very kind hearted. Too bad for Dakota, she didn't know that while Gene was a sweet, caring person, he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. He was just a tool

Ms. Ramey still sat in front of her class, monitoring them. As people slowly began to quiet down, she began to take the hint

"Well, if I'm assuming correctly, you all are done?" Ms. Ramey asks. Some of the class nods in response to her query "That's great. I hope you all are satisfied and hopefully, you made the right choices. And now that _that's_ over, it's time we begin today's lesson: yellow journalism"

Ms. Ramey began her usual "teacher chatter", which sounded almost nonexistent to the students. For they were busy with more important things, such as talking and flicking spitballs at each other. Yup, the _important_ things

The same went for Gene, but it wasn't like he didn't want to listen, he just had trouble keeping his attention focused on one thing, especially if the thing didn't interest him in the very slightest. So in stead he just kept picking at his face. Puberty'll do that to you

Dakota, as usual, paid her full attention in class, but then her eyes shift to Gene. Hm, that's strange. She was usually more attentive in class. Anyways, she looked over at Gene, who was still messing with his zits, and she cleared her throat

"Um... Thanks again for letting me work with you..." She shyly says, forcing a smile, yet, a second time, but greatly failing. Her smile was mostly lopsided and awkward looking

Gene smiled back, except his was much more coordinated "It's no problem!"

"Er... Gene, was it?" Dakota asks, almost forgetting his name

Gene nods "Mmhmm!" He replies "I'm happy to work with you. Besides, you probably have no knowledge of America, since you're from a whole different area and all"

Dakota blinked in confusion at his statement "... But... Virginia _is_ in America..."

"That's probably a whole different America, right above Canada!" He says, proud of his... _"knowledge"_ on geography

Dakota raised her eyebrow _"Does he seriously not know what Virginia is? Let alone where it is..."_ She thought to herself. Partnering up with Gene seemed like a good idea at the beginning, but she was starting to have second thoughts...

* * *

It was the end of the entire school day, what a relief. Actually, school had ended about a whole hour ago. The hallways were clear and quiet, thank goodness, and a few teachers were still in their offices, finishing up their work for the day. In fact, the only student at their locker at this late hour was Dakota. She was rummaging through her locker, collecting her books in her backpack. Despite the late time, she didn't seem like she was in much of a hurry at all

She was just finishing up, when an "unexpected guest" surprised her

"Hey there, Dakota!" The person exclaims behind her. Dakota, extremely startled, yelps quickly and presses onto her locker cautiously, closing it. Once she sees who greeted her, she realizes it was just Gene Belcher, with his usual welcoming beam

"Oh... Uh... Hi, Gene" Dakota replies quietly, slightly embarrassed at her exaggerated response

"So, do you wanna go to my place and work on our project there?" Gene asks, pointing towards the door the leads to the school building's exit

"Right now...?" Dakota asks "I mean, we only found out about it today, and we have a whole week left to work on it..."

"Well, yeah. But we might as well get it over with" Gene says

He _did_ make a valid point (Hm, that's rare). _"Well, I don't like working last minute anyways..."_ Dakota thought to herself. And she had to admit, Gene inviting her to his abode was a pretty selfless act

"Well... I suppose-" Dakota began, but was soon cut off

"That's great!" Gene happily exclaims, once again, startling Dakota

"B-But I have to call my parents first! They're supposed to pick me up" Dakota anxiously says, pulling her cellphone out of her pocket

"Don't worry, you can just call them on the way there. Now come on!" Gene excitedly says, rushing out of the building with Dakota, holding onto her _hand_

Gene ecstatically rushed out of the building, tightly grasping onto Dakota's hand. She tried her best to keep up with him as she was being pulled, but Gene was moving pretty fast. In her other hand, she held her slightly opened backpack. Papers were flying out of it, everywhere, but there was no use in trying to pick them up at this point

"My sisters are probably already on their way home, since I was too busy waiting for you" Gene states, still running

"You were waiting for... Me?" Dakota asks, somewhat flattered

"Well, yeah!" Gene answers "Speaking of which, why were you even at school for so long?" He asks, as he stops dashing to look at her

Ugh. So many questions. One of Dakota's least favorite things was talking

"My parents are just really busy in the afternoon, so I sort of just... Wait for them to pick me up whenever they can. I sometimes walk home, but that's only when I have my house keys" She explains

Gene continues walking so he doesn't waste anymore time. The two exit the school's front door and take off from there "Oh. Well, I usually walk home all the time, mostly because my parents are too busy at home grinding the meat"

Dakota, unaware of what Gene _**actually**_ meant by that, gives him a confused, blank expression "..." She wasn't sure what to respond with "Should we just, maybe... Go now...?"

* * *

It was a long walk from school to the Belcher residence. At least, it was for Dakota. She had only just formally met Gene, so walking with a complete stranger was extremely nerve-racking for her. They didn't converse too much, thank goodness. And while the walk seemed like decades for Dakota, it wasn't more than 15 minutes

The two teens were just a few mere steps from Gene's home. As they approached the Bob's Burgers' silver doors, Gene reached to open it, but Dakota interrupts him

"This is where you live?" She asks, examining the building

"Yup! This is my home! I was raised and trained to be a warrior in here!" Gene says "Well, maybe not that last part, but you get the gist"

Dakota looks back at the building a second time "You... You live in a restaurant...?"

"Mmhmm!" Gene nods. Dakota still looked mildly confused, that was a pretty vague answer "My family owns this restaurant, you see, and it kind of makes up the first level of our house"

"Oh... I suppose that makes more sense..." Dakota replies "Well, we can go in now, so we can work on the project..."

"Sure! And I can even introduce you to my whole family!" Gene says, as they begin to enter

"Wait... Introduce me... To your _whole_ f-family...?" Dakota worriedly asks, as Gene drags her into his house

Once Gene cracks open the large door, it triggers the restaurant's small bell to go off. Apparently, the whole family was downstairs, working their respective stations in the restaurant

"Hel- _ **lo**_ , family!" Gene ecstatically greets, getting the attention of his family

"Hi, sweetie!" Linda responds, poking her head from the kitchen window

While his mother was more welcoming towards his recent arrival, Bob was less than thrilled

"Gene, it's almost 5:00, what the hell took you so long?" Bob asks angrily

"I was waiting on a friend. We're working together on a school project!" Gene blissfully explains

"Your imaginary friends don't count as real _'friends'_ , Gene" Louise says, from the restaurant's counter

"That was literally _one_ time, Louise" Gene claims "Guys, I'd like you to meet, Dakota!" He puts his hands out next to him, to introduce the girl, but she wasn't there. In fact, she was no where to be seen, until Gene turned around and found her. It seemed like she was practically hiding behind him for her dear life. Gene, clearly not taking the hint that she didn't want to be introduced, pulls her out from behind him and places her right next to him

Now that she was finally in view, the Belchers look over at the girl, and their previous neutral expressions became shocked and baffled expressions

Dakota almost looked the same. She looked so pale, almost as if she was gonna pass out on the spot. She was just so nervous, she was being introduced to so many people at once, it was overwhelming

The room was silent. Gene just went with the awkwardness and kept grinning, waiting for one of them to say... Anything. While Dakota was silent out of anxiousness, the Belchers were silent for a completely different reason: Gene actually managed to bring _a real person home_. A _friend,_ too. And not just any friend, a _female_ friend. Were things actually turning around for him?

After about 20 seconds of nothing but silence, Gene decided to break it

"So, this is Dakota!" He repeats now that she was in full view. He swiftly wrapped his arm around her and pulled her to his side, almost a bit too hard, as she was nearly glued on to him and could barely breathe "She used to live in Virginia, but she traveled all the way over here and is attending Wagstaff! I guess they don't have any schools in Virginia or something"

Unable to muster real words at the moment, Dakota frantically, yet nervously nods in agreement to Gene's introduction for her "Mmhmm!" She quickly says in a high pitched tone

Just then, his family quickly snaps out mid trance, coming back to their senses

"Oh, uh... Hi there, Dakota" Bob greets "Well, welcome"

"Dakota. That's a nice name. It kind of reminds me of granola, but that's probably just because I'm hungry" Tina comments

"Or club soda!" Linda adds "Now I'm kind of in the mood for some club soda..."

Louise walks over to Dakota and glares at her overall figure. She then grabs her arm, much to Dakota's confusion, and begins examining it closely

"Hm, doesn't feel like a robot..." Louise mumbles to herself, still in disbelief that she was an actual person

"Louise, stop touching her..." Bob groans

Louise reluctantly followed orders, but before leaving she turned back at Dakota with a glare that could kill millions "Hmm.. I'm watching you..." Dakota was clearly confused by the remark "Er..." She silently murmurs

When Gene looked back over at his parents, he noticed them... Whispering to each other. He was confused, as he wasn't sure what they could be talking about. In fact, they almost looked a bit giddy...

Though, the two quickly come back to their senses and look back over at Gene and Dakota. They still had their smiles plastered on their faces

"Heh, so like we were saying. Welcome, Dakota" Bob says, unusually happy

Dakota waved at him, not even bothering to attempt smiling again. Gene, per usual, was unfazed by all of this

"Well, we'll be heading up to my room to work. See ya later!" Gene says, as he starts heading towards his room stares, still holding Dakota's hand. It was almost as if Gene didn't know that was a romantic gesture

But as the two head off, Bob cuts them off

"Hey, Gene. Can I talk to you for a second?" He asks his son

Gene shrugs "Sure...?" He responds, following his father, who leads him tot he rest of their family. Dakota merely stands where she had stopped and began minding her own business silently "Yeah? What is it?" Gene asks, scratching the back of his head

Bob smirks and puts his hand around him "Gene, I never thought I'd see the day you brought a girl home. I'm proud of you"

Gene was very visibly confused "Erm... What do you-"

"Yeah. I never knew you had a girlfriend, Gene" Tina says

"She's so beautiful!" Linda says, clasping her palms together softly

"Pfft. I bet he paid her" Louise snorts

He was now finally understanding why they were reacting in such a strange manner. Gene's face flushed, embarrassed at the situation "Woah... W-we aren't dating! Why would you even think that...?" He asked nervously, still red in the face

Dakota was curious about what the family was conversing about. She knew it wasn't any of her business, but she couldn't help but _try_ to listen. Force of habit

"Um... Gene?" Dakota asks, so they could finally begin working

Gene turns to look over at her. Thankfully, his face went back to its normal pigment "We should start working now. See ya!" Gene says to his family, making his way out of the awkward conversation. As he scooches his way through his family, he holds onto Dakota's hand again, still unaware that it was, indeed, a romantic gesture ( _sigh_ ) He led the way up his staircase

Now there was no denying it from his family

"Yup, they're dating" Bob concludes

" _Obviously_ " The rest of the family says in unison

* * *

The two teens made it to the upstairs hallway. Gene navigated the two of them to his bedroom

"Um... Your family is... Really nice" Dakota bashfully says

"Yup, family's are like that. I'm sure your family's just as great!" Gene smiles

Dakota's expression immediately changes to a blank stare. She didn't know what to say to that "... Well-"

"Oh, we're here!" Gene cuts in, as they had reached his bedroom

His room was like any teenage boy's room, no surprise. It wasn't the cleanest, as there were clothes, food wrappers, and a ton of other miscellaneous substances strewn around the place. Unlike most boys his age, however, he liked his room to be bright and colorful. He had sky blue wallpaper on his walls and a dresser of the same color. His bed was against the wall of his room, and to the far side of it, a brown work desk with a small table light and two chairs stood

Gene happily escorted her to the seat "So, do you have any notes we can use for the assignment?" He asked, taking his seat right next to her

Dakota removes her backpack and zips it open, as she begins rummaging through it to find them. She pulls out a magenta folder and opens it, pulling out a few sheets of papers with written text on it "Well, I _did_ manage to get some..." She hands him her notes, and he looks over them

"Did you write any notes?" Dakota asks

"Me? Nope. I was just hoping you wrote some so I'd be off the hook" Gene smiles

Dakota slightly cringed, somewhat annoyed that he didn't have any notes to show, despite asking for hers

"They look really great!" Gene compliments

"Wow, you read them all already?" Dakota asks

"No, you wrote a lot, so I'm assuming they're good. And that's the number 1 part of teamwork, assuming!" Gene says

Dakota arches her eyebrow skeptically "Well... Thanks, I guess..."

"How do you wanna do the project?" Gene asks

Dakota opens her folder again, and takes out the project's rubric "Well, the requirements say that 'Any form of entry is acceptable, whether it be an essay or a documentary, as long as your point is being made clear'" She looks at Gene, who was pretty confused with all the words that had just been thrown at him "... As in, we can do it however you'd like, as long as we're still doing the project" She continues

"Ohhh! Ok!" Gene says "Hey! We should do a _musical_!" He exclaims, holding his hands out for dramatic effect

Dakota stares, perplexed "... A musical?" She asks in an unsure tone

"Yeah! Lights! Cameras! Actors! And cheesy, unforgettable songs! It'll be perfect!" Gene says, picturing it in his head "We'll call it... ' _ **America: A Tale of Two Parties**_ '!"

Dakota was speechless, and _not_ in the good way. She wondered if Gene was able to take anything seriously. To her, school wasn't something to be taken lightly

"Or, we could just write a paper..." Dakota suggests

"But, Dakota! A paper isn't going to 'wow' anybody!" Gene whines, almost like a child

"I'm not trying to 'wow' anyone" Dakota says, making air quotes when she said "wow" "I _want_ a good grade. I don't even want to present my- ... Never mind" And with that, she began writing their paper using her pre-written notes as a guide

"Woah... You write fast!" Gene says, staring at her quick hand movements on the paper

Not knowing how to exactly respond to that, Dakota just ignores him and keeps writing

Gene was confused, he wasn't used to not getting a reply back from someone "Hey, Dakota? Why are you so quiet? I think I've only heard you talk once or twice"

 _"I talked much more than that, I know that for a fact"_ She thought to herself. But she then replies with a simple shrug "I don't know. I just don't like to talk, I guess"

"You don't like to _talk_?!" Gene exclaims, shocked. The sudden burst of noise startled Dakota, but only for about a split second "That's crazy! Talking is a way of life!"

"I prefer to do my talking inside of my head" Dakota says, a bit ticked off

"You can talk _inside_ your head too?!" Gene asks

Dakota remembered the very first time she talked to Gene Belcher. He seemed like a fun person, maybe even charming, but now that she saw his true colors, she was far from charmed. Gene was fairly... _Dense_ in the head,to put it lightly, and couldn't help but get really impatient with him. But she was stuck with him, so she realized she might as well deal with him for the time being

 **(A/N: Yup, this is about where I stopped before I continued eons later... Brace yourself for the inconsistency!)**

Dakota continued working, but once again, this was put to a halt quickly when she received another query from Gene

"Hey, Dakota! Can you tell me some more about yourself?" Gene eagerly asks

This actually caught Dakota's attention, as her mildly annoyed face went to fairly perplexed within a millisecond

"More about... M-me...?" She asks, nervously shivering

"Yeah!" Gene answers "You're kind of like a book, waiting to be opened!"

Hm, that was new. Dakota wasn't used to people being interested about what she had to say, but that was probably because she only kept to herself. And while yes, she was definitely appreciative of the offer, she still wasn't so comfortable around Gene

"... Um... Wh-What do you wanna know...?" Dakota asks, making sure to not make any eye contact

Gene thinks for a moment "Hm... Hey, where was that place you said you used to live again?"

"Oh, you mean Virginia?" Dakota asks "I-I've been living there my whole life..."

"Your _whole_ life?" Gene asks "Do you ever miss it?"

"Well... Honestly, yeah..." Dakota admits, averting her eyes "I feel kind of out of place here..."

Gene grins "Hey, don't worry! You'll fit in just fine!" He assures her "I'm not sure _what_ you'll fit into though... I just always hear that saying"

Dakota's lips curl into a small smile, and she actually turns to look at Gene (for a change). She didn't want to jump to conclusions too quickly like she did last time, but she felt like she was warming up to Gene again

"So, why did you come here in the first place?" Gene asks, as he rocks himself back and forth on his chair like a toddler

Dakota, now in a more positive mood, places her work down and nearly forgets about it, as she was now more invested in the conversation "To keep it brief, my parents were looking for more places to expand on their business or something along those lines... They thought moving would give them more opportunities to invest and negotiate on their work and... Stuff..." Dakota says "I-In fact, I don't think I should be talking about this... I-It's kind of confidential... Do you have any other questions?"

"Do you have any sisters or brothers?" He asks

"No" Dakota simply says "I'm an only child"

"You don't have _any_?!" Gene exclaims, astonished "I wouldn't be able to live without my sisters! Then again, in a way, I'd probably have a better chance of living, since I feel like one of them's out to kill me"

"I... See..." Dakota responds, once again, having no real way to reply to that

She turns back to face her work, which she left lying flat on the table. Realizing that she got sidetracked, she frantically picked it back up and continued to write. " _Come on Dakota, keep working... Playing's for home, not for school_ " She told herself

As she scribbled down onto her paper, Gene abruptly took the paper away from her, not even considering to ask "Can I see what you've written down so far?"

" _I would've appreciated it if you'd said that before you took it out of my hands..._" Dakota says to herself in her head "Sure..." She speaks out loud

Gene looks at the paper and begins to read what she has written " _The United States of America, or more commonly referred to as America, is a constitutional federal republic, made up of 50-_ Hey, I'm hungry!" Gene interrupts himself, as he had a tendency to easily forget things "Do you mind if I grab something to eat?" Gene asks, getting up from his seat

"N-No! I don't mind!" Dakota responds, biting her lip nervously

"Cool!" He adds, doing the "finger guns" gesture at her with his two hands, before heading to his bedroom door

Little did Gene know, he had some "unwanted guests" standing outside of his bedroom door

"Bobby, you're in my way!"

"Well, I'm sorry, Lin. If you'd stop _pushing_ me, maybe I could move!"

"Well now you're too close and I can't hear a thing! Schooch!"

If you couldn't already guess from the dialogue, it was Bob and Linda! They were currently pressing their heads on Gene's bedroom door with their ears resting on it, almost as if they were trying to listen in on what was going on in there

As Bob peered his ear on the door closer, his pupils shrunk at the approaching sound of footsteps "Oh my god. Someone's coming!" He whisper shouted

"AH!" Linds exclaims, panicking

"Stop panicking, Lin! Just... Act natural!" Bob says, looking fairly nervous himself

The two quickly hit their backs against the wall bordering Gene's bedroom door and stood there, tense. Soon enough, the towering Gene came outside of his room, and didn't even notice his parents there. Well, until Linda lost her cool

"NATURAL!" Linda shrieks apprehensively, which immediately caught Bob and Gene's attention

Bob groans " _Real smooth, Lin..._ " He thought to himself

"Mom? Dad?" Gene says, perplexity evident in his tone "Why are you guys standing outside of my room...?"

Bob looks up at Gene "Uh... Gene, we weren't doing anything. We just _happened_ to be at your door the exact moment you walked out" He fibs

"Y-Yeah! Oh _yeah_!" Linda says, still uneasy "W-We definitely weren't trying to listen in on your little conversation you were having with that lady friend of yours! _Heh..._ "

Bob face palmed "Oh my god..."

Gene looked uncertain, but being "Gene" and all, he didn't seem to look too much into it "I'll take your word for it!" He happily responds, as he walks downstairs, humming a tune

Bob was relieved "Hm, I guess Gene's dull-wittedness has its advantages..."

"Wow! Did you see me out there, Bobby! I think I'm getting better at my acting!" Linda smiles "I can already see myself on Broadway! Lights _shining_! Cameras _flashing_! You can see it, right Bobby?"

"Sure, Lin..." Bob sighs

* * *

A good 5 minutes had passed, and Gene still wasn't in his room. Dakota sat there and stared at the clock

" _5 minutes? Feels more like 5 hours..._ " She says to herself. Realizing that Gene wasn't going to be here anytime soon, she began to bite at her nails, a bad habit she still needed to crack. Just as she was really getting into it, she heard the door knob turn, and quickly threw her hands back to her sides and wiped the saliva off her fingertips

"Oh.. You're back.." She silently murmurs, lacking any intentions of Gene hearing

"Yup! And I've brought some _comfort food_!" Gene joyously replies, waving something wrapped in a napkin in his 2 hands

"Comfort food...?" Dakota says under her breath, perplexed. She wasn't catching on, until Gene had unraveled the things in his two hands: they were burgers! "Two burgers?" " _He must have a big appetite or something_ " She thought

"Yeah! One for me, and one for..." Gene holds out the last word, until he nearly shoved the burger into Dakota's face "You!" He finishes his sentence

"Oh..." Dakota murmurs. Well _that_ made more sense. "Erm... Thanks... But I'm not really supposed to eat 'outside food'. My parents don't really allow it"

"Oh, I didn't get this from outside! I got it from my restaurant!" Gene assures, heedless to what she meant by that

"No, I mean- ... Forget it..." She says "I'd just rather not eat it..."

"Aw, c'mon, Dakota! Please? You'll like it! I promise!" Gene begs, holding the food even closer to her

"I just don't think-"

"PLEASE!"

Realizing that Gene's grating pleads weren't stopping anytime soon, Dakota reluctantly takes the food and sighs " _Well, I suppose one wouldn't be so bad..._ " She convinces herself

She takes a small bite from it and chews for a few seconds

"See? It wasn't so bad!" Gene grins

Except, well, it _was_. Need I remind you, this was Bob's Burgers, so the food was far from mediocre. Dakota nearly retched from the bitter taste, but of course, didn't want to be rude, so she decided to lie

"Er... Y-Yeah... It was... Gr-great!" She forces a smile "In fact, so great, I'll just save it for home so I can savor it all later! Heh..." She slowly slips it into her backpack pocket "Um... We should keep working..." The teenage girl suggests, as she scooches her chair back into the desk, picks up her pencil, and proceeds to write

Normally, anyone would be irked to be the only one participating in a group project, but Dakota preferred working independently anyways. This was a treat, if anything, because from what she's seen of Gene so far, she wouldn't rely on him for a second with anything. Besides, she couldn't help but appreciate how silent the room was. Gene hadn't said anything for a whole 30 seconds... That's _incredible_. She wished this silence could last for ages, but it wasn't long before it shattered like glass

"Hey, Gene?" Someone calls from downstairs. This voice was easily recognizable to Gene, but seeing as Dakota only arrived about an hour ago, she still had to get acquainted to everyone at the restaurant. It was one of Gene's sisters, that was obvious, but she just couldn't pick out each one

"Yeah, Tina?" Gene yells out. Well, that answered her question

"Do you know what happened to all of the peanut butter crackers we bought yesterday?" She yells back

"Yeah! I ate them!" Gene responds back

"Oh" Tina replies

Dakota would never say it to his face, but she would have preferred if Gene simply _walked downstairs_ to talk to his sister. And as if Gene wasn't loud enough with his "normal" tone of voice, when he was shouting right next to her face, her eardrums nearly fractured in half

"But I think Mom and Dad hid some in their room!" He screams back

"Oh they did?" Tina replies

"Yeah! I think under their bed!"

"Ok, thanks, Gene"

Dakota, relieved that their conversation had halted, continued writing. But she knew this silence was too good to be true

"Actually, now that I think about it, they're probably behind their dresser!" Gene continues "Yeah, definitely behind their dresser!"

"Gene, I would appreciate it if you didn't tell the _whole_ house where I hid those crackers" Bob sighs "I put them there for a reason!"

"Don't worry, Dad. I didn't hear Gene just tell me they were behind your dresser" Tina says, attempting to "lie"

"Ugh..." Bob groans

"Ok! Bye!" Gene calls out, finally cutting the yelling "Ah... Family..."

" _Thank god..._ " Dakota forces a smile "Wow... Aren't you just so... _helpful_ , to your younger sister..." She says through clenched teeth

"Hm?" Gene turns to look back at Dakota "Correction: I'm not the oldest, Tina's older!"

"Oh, you aren't?" Dakota asks "I just assumed since you're so... Tall... And now, I'm realizing how _stupid_ it was of me to base my assumption on that..." She placed her hand on her forehead

"Haha! It's cool" Gene laughs "I've been getting that a lot since my growth spurt"

Dakota examines Gene's stature a second time "How did you even get so tall?" She asks in a curious tone

Gene shrugs "I don't really know. All I remember is one morning, I woke up and I couldn't fit into my bed anymore..."

Gene then looks Dakota up and down "And... Maybe it's just me but you're _really_ short!"

"Don't worry, it's not just you... I am pretty short..." Dakota admits. The contrast between their heights was almost ludicrous "I'd give anything to be at least a _little_ taller..."

"Are you kidding? I don't like being tall at all!" Gene gripes "You can never stretch your legs out, you have to bend down for _everything_ , you always get your hair caught in ceiling fans, and worst of all, you can never fit in pillow forts anymore!"

"Well being short isn't much fun either" Dakota states "I'd prefer not to be in the front of all of my class photos..."

"I'd love to be in the front of _my_ school photos! For a change..." He says, chuckling a bit afterwards

"Oh, well what do you know..." Dakota says

The both of them stare at each other for a few seconds, and soon, they both slowly smiled. While this was nothing new for Gene, it wasn't everyday Dakota genuinely grinned at someone else. This moment lasted for about a good 10 seconds or so, before Dakota quickly realized that she was, once again, getting sidetracked

"E-Er... R-Right! Back to work!" Dakota anxiously says, facing forward again. Gene frowned, he thought he was actually getting to her for once, but I suppose that was too much to ask for

"Uh... So, hey! Do you like music?" Gene asks, attempting to break the "awkwardness barrier"

"Music?" Dakota repeats "Well, I-"

"Because I play piano!" Gene interrupts

"You play... _Piano_?" Dakota says with skepticism

"Yeah! Watch this!" Gene reaches for his backpack under his desk and zips it open, as he pulls out his blue keyboard and sets it in his lap "Watch, and try not to be _too_ impressed! Heh!"

Before Gene's finger landed onto one of the keys, Dakota expected to hear a quick, pleasant note. She got quite the opposite though, as she was graced with the sound of flatulence

"... Why did it...?" Dakota says

"Ha! Cool, right?" Gene smiles "It can do more, too! Including dog sound..." He hits another key, and it produces a dog bark "A cat sound..." He hits the very next key, producing a cat's meow "And a lion!" He presses the next key, and it makes a bird chirp "... I _think_ "

Dakota arches her eyebrow "... _Right_..." She mumbles, paying her heed back to her paper. She was just finishing the sentence she had written, and once she had concluded, she held her paper up "Ok, I'm finished-"

"We're finally finished?! Yay!" Gene rejoices

"... With the first page" Dakota continues

"Wait, so you're gonna write _more_?!" Gene exclaims, dragging his hands across his face

"Well, yeah..." Dakota responds "Why, how many pages did _you_ want me to write?"

"Ehh... One's fine.." Gene says, taking the paper from her

"Oh. Ok then. Well, I suppose my work here is done, bye" She says, as she gets up from the seat and starts picking up her backpack and folder

"What?! You can't leave now!" Gene whimpers "I haven't even gotten to know you that well yet!"

"Um... You can get to know me another time. Besides, I'm not really that interesting of a person" Dakota claims "I _really_ need to go right now"

Gene began to pout like a child "Aw! But Dakota, _please_! Come _ooonnn_!"

Dakota never realized how much Gene liked to beg and plead. It definitely got on her nerves, yet, she couldn't help but feel a great deal of guilt from ignoring it. She sighs

"Oh my god..." She says under her breath "Fine, I'll stay. But only for a few more minutes..."

Gene beams "Sweet! Thanks, Dakota!" He exclaims. Dakota bitterly rolls her eyes in response

"So have you made any new friends at Wagstaff yet?" Gene questions

" _Great, more questions_ " Dakota says in her head "No"

"Have you even talked to anyone yet? Besides me, of course" Gene inquires

Dakota is silent for a moment, and then nods her head in a "no" motion

"Well, _that's_ why! Because you never talk! You should talk more often, y'know?" Gene suggets

" _Jesus Christ, how many times have I heard **that**_ _?_ " She says to herself "I feel like we've already established this" Dakota says, looking away

"Then we should re-establish it!" Gene jokingly says

Dakota was losing her patience with Gene, and looked towards him with pure aggravation "I just don't **_like_** to talk, ok?!" She fumes "Hell, the whole the reason I wrote the paper in the first place was because I didn't want to go in front of the class and talk!"

Dakota emphatically groaned to express her rage, as she covers her face. Gene simply watched her in silence. He had never seen her so worked up before, and wasn't exactly sure how to respond. Things were quiet for a good minute or so, before Dakota took her hands from her face and looked forward, mortified, as she had just realized what she had said "... Oh my god... I... Said all that out loud, didn't I...?"

Gene simply nods his head "yes", causing Dakota to get red in the face and cover it, as she groaned "Of _course_ I did..." She sighs

Gene slowly began to recall what she had said when they started working:

 _"I'm not trying to 'wow' anyone, I want a good grade. I don't even want to present my- ... Never mind"_

Well that explains why she never bothered to finish her statement

"... You... Never wanted to present in front of the class...?" Gene asks, repeating her statement

Dakota began to get flustered again "Well, I-... Erm... Y-Yeah.." She confesses

"Well, why didn't you just say so?" Gene smiles "It's not like I would've gotten mad or anything. Besides, you'll be ok, there's absolutely nothing to be afraid of!"

"Maybe for _you_ " Dakota remarks "But there's plenty to be scared of for me"

"Hmm... Well, you know my sister Tina used to have stage fright, but she eventually got over it!" Gene says

"Oh yeah? Well how did SHE get over it?" Dakota asks

"I just told her to imagine everyone in nothing but a condom and a hat!" Gene answers

Dakota stared blankly "... I don't think that would work for me..."

"Darn, I thought I was getting somewhere with that!" Gene says "Well... You've already got the brains, all you need is the self confidence! I'm not even sure what there's to be worried about, I _love_ talking to people!"

"I just don't wanna mess up or say something stupid in front of everyone! You've _have_ to have felt that at least once" Dakota claims

"Oh, please. People have better things to worry about than if you screwed up on a few words. I have faith in you, Dakota!" Gene says with a reassuring grin

"You... Have faith in me...?" Dakota softly asks

"Well, yeah!" Gene replies

Dakota stopped looking at Gene and then looked down at the desk. She rested her head on her palm and tapped her fingers. Dakota would give anything not to have to ever speak to anyone again, but it _was_ about time she got over her silly stage fright. It wouldn't be easy, and it definitely wouldn't be fun, but she had made her decision

"... Pass me the rubric" She abruptly says. Gene obliges, as he passes the project rubric to her. She began to read over the requirements again " _Any form of entry is acceptable, whether it be an essay or a documentary, as long as your point is being made clear_ ". "Hmm.. I think we may just be able to work around that..." She says

She turns back to Gene "Ok... I... _suppose_ we can do whatever you wanted for the project"

Gene brightened up "So we can do the-"

" _Except_ the musical" Dakota clarified "That would be too much work"

"Well, I _did_ have a plan B for the project! All it'll need are your wits and my keyboard!" He assures

Dakota was noticeably skeptical, but decided to trust her gut on this one "Hm, ok" She says, a small smile forming on her face

"Let's get started!" Gene says, grabbing a paper of his own. The two spend the rest of the day jotting down their ideas for their new, improved project idea

* * *

It was 8:30 PM, and the two were still hard at work

"... Ok, so first we'll do this, and then we'll do-" Dakota cut herself off, as she looked out of Gene's window, just now realizing how dark it was outside "Oh shoot! I-I guess I was so wrapped up in the work I didn't realize how late it was getting..." She zipped open her backpack and stuffed all of her notes inside

Gene looked out too, also realizing that it was nearly pitch-black outside

"Well, goodbye Gene... I'll see you at school tomorrow" Dakota says, as she slung her backpack over her shoulder

"Bye, Dakota! I really enjoyed the time I spent with you today!" Gene adds, waving

"Erm, thanks" Dakota responds, averting her eyes. She awkwardly made her way to Gene's door and opened it, as she exited his bedroom, walked down the staircase, and exited the empty restaurant

Gene smiled as he watched her leave. He was glad he got a chance to learn a thing or two about the new girl, even if she wasn't very talkative. He scooted into his desk and removed all of the remaining paper, but as he lifted one sheet, he noticed something under it

"What the..." He mumbles, as he slowly lifted the object up "Hm, Dakota must've left this"

It was a small, brown spiral bound book which read "Sketchbook" on the cover, in large, black bold letter. He took a second gander at it, and opened it, as he began to look through it

* * *

 **Thanks for reading! Once again, I apologize for the ridiculously late update, but I hope this mediocre chapter made up for it, haha. Yeah, Dakota's a pretty blank slate right now, I'll admit, but I _did_ just get started with her, and I hope to further develop her character more. See you next chapter! :)**


	9. Somewhat Unfortunate News

Hello, readers! Unfortunately, I bear some bad news...

No, I'm not discontinuing the fanfiction...

... At least, I don't _think_. Let me explain:

So a few days ago, for some unknown reason, all of my notes/memos on my phone were deleted. While I was sad because I had been writing these notes for over 3 years, and I had written well over 2,000, I was mainly sad because, believe it or not, that's where I kept every single chapter idea I had for "Bob to the Future", in the exact order I wanted them to happen. Bear in mind, this was a little over 100 chapters, and it's extremely sad to see all my hard work just go to waste. I still have no idea how this happened. I had just opened up the application and they had all just vanished, it was unbelievable. At first, I thought I'd just have to call off the whole thing, but I have one solution, and one in case that one fails:

* * *

 **SOLUTION 1**

Next week, I plan on visiting my phone store to see if they can somehow restore the deleted memos/notes for me. Though, this is very unlikely, and I don't know if they can do this. If they aren't, here was my next solution, that I, personally, am afraid to do...

 **SOLUTION FOR SOLUTION 1**

Just... Start all over from scratch. While I don't want to just get rid of all of these 100+ chapter ideas, it may have to come to this if I wanna keep this fanfiction going. I was actually pretty inspired to do this because of my dad. He told me a story about how many years ago, he was writing a book. He had been working on it for 4 years, and it was nearly done, but somehow, every single on of his files got destroyed and removed, including the whole book. Keep in mind, this was 4 years of work. He was sad, but not discouraged. Later on, he tried to rewrite the whole book, even though he could barely remember anything, but he knew he could at least try. Only a month ago from today, he had finished it and released it. He told me that he had liked this version even better than the old one. I could never see myself doing that, but after hearing his story, I could at least try. Besides, I can only improve by doing it again.

* * *

So, that's that. Like I've said on many occasions, this fanfiction is something I'm really dedicated to, despite how silly it may sound... Believe it or not, writing is not even my focus area, visual art is. But writing is something I do enjoy doing when I'm not drawing. I've been working on this concept since July of 2016, and I don't intend on stopping anytime soon (hopefully). Thanks for sticking around, and I hope to see you all again!


	10. Final Update, Don't Worry!

Hi again!

So last time I updated this, I mentioned how I had lost all my ideas, and would hopefully come up with new ones, and thank goodness, _**I actually did! Woo hoo!**_

So, no, I won't be cutting this short!

 _*like two people cheer*_

Since I didn't want a repeat of last time, I emailed all the chapters to myself about 10 times, ha ha. I'm so relieved...

Initially, I wanted to upload some chapters on October 1 (A.K.A: The day "Bob's Burgers"'s 8th season premiered, but since I was working on my fanfiction, "The Art of Bart", I unfortunately didn't have time. However, I wanna try uploading some in December (and I think I've got a schedule laid out... Knowing me, I'll probably ditch it within 2 months lol)

But nonetheless, I'm really glad I figured that mess out, and all I can say to you right now is... Enjoy the new episode! I'm really happy to see BB come back to TV after all those months, and I'm really excited to see all the cool art/animation people have sent in for the episode! (I was going to send in some art, but seeing as it had to do with "copyrighting" and all that good stuff, you had to be 18+, which I won't be for another 4 years. Hopefully, if Bob's Burgers doesn't get canned by Fox in the next coming years, they do one again! I doubt it though! Lol! :D)


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